18 Conversation Starters That Make Strangers Instantly Trust You, According to FBI Negotiator

Chuvic - September 4, 2025
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In both personal and professional settings, establishing trust swiftly is crucial for effective communication and collaboration. FBI negotiators, experts in building rapid rapport, have developed specific techniques to gain trust quickly. By employing these strategies, you can enhance your interactions and foster stronger connections with new acquaintances. (inc.com)

1. “What brings you here today?”

1. “What brings you here today?”
A close-up of two people engaged in a deep conversation, exchanging thoughtful questions that build trust. | Photo by MART PRODUCTION on Pexels

Opening with this question shows genuine curiosity about someone’s presence, creating immediate connection. It’s nonintrusive and open-ended, prompting people to share their motivations, which establishes rapport quickly. According to former FBI negotiator Chris Voss, demonstrating sincere interest is a core element of trust-building.

2. “How did you get started in your field?”

2. “How did you get started in your field?”
A confident professional shares their unique career journey, illustrating growth and resilience through storytelling. | Photo by Ono Kosuki on Pexels

Asking about someone’s journey in their profession invites them to tell their story, signaling respect and authentic listening. According to Voss, focusing on the other person’s narrative breaks down initial barriers. This approach is non-threatening, letting you bond over shared interests or surprising career beginnings. (buttonedupconsulting.us)

3. “What’s something exciting happening in your life right now?”

3. “What’s something exciting happening in your life right now?”
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This upbeat prompt encourages people to share positive updates, sparking enthusiasm and openness. Joyful topics build warmth and increase perceived trustworthiness. FBI negotiation strategies stress the power of positivity in lowering defenses. Compared to standard small talk, this approach centers on meaningful, upbeat interaction. (npr.org)

4. “I’d love to hear your thoughts on…”

4. “I’d love to hear your thoughts on…”
A group of individuals engaged in a lively discussion, each sharing their unique perspectives with mutual respect. | Photo by Tima Miroshnichenko on Pexels

Requesting someone’s opinion makes them feel valued. This strategy aligns with FBI methods of empowering people to share, fostering mutual respect. Seeking their perspective puts you on equal footing and invites authentic conversation. (inc.com)

5. “How do you like to spend your weekends?”

5. “How do you like to spend your weekends?”
A person unwinding on a cozy weekend, enjoying their favorite hobby in a peaceful setting. | Photo by Photo By: Kaboompics.com on Pexels

Inquiring about hobbies is a classic way of discovering shared interests. FBI negotiators use personal questions to find common ground quickly. (hbr.org) Discussing leisure activities establishes connection and relaxes tense social dynamics.

6. “What inspired your choice in…?”

6. “What inspired your choice in…?”
A person standing at a crossroads, contemplating multiple paths, symbolizing the power of choices and motivation. | Photo by Nataliya Vaitkevich on Pexels

Whether it’s about a book, outfit, or career, asking what inspires a person signals curiosity and genuine attention. FBI experts say interest in motivations, not just outcomes, reveals deeper trust. (cnbc.com) This question prompts meaningful sharing beyond surface-level answers.

7. “Can you tell me more about…?”

7. “Can you tell me more about…?”
A young woman attentively listens to an elderly man sharing a captivating story, their faces filled with curiosity. | Photo by Kampus Production on Pexels

Prompting people to elaborate shows active listening, a vital skill in FBI negotiation. This simple phrase signals genuine engagement and encourages storytelling, making the other person feel heard and respected. It deepens rapport instantly. (leb.fbi.gov)

8. “What’s the best advice you’ve ever received?”

8. “What’s the best advice you’ve ever received?”
A wise elder shares valuable advice with a young adult during a heartfelt conversation. | Photo by Pavel Danilyuk on Pexels

Encouraging someone to share valued wisdom taps into their core values. FBI negotiators report that asking for advice humanizes a stranger, creating mutual trust. This question prompts meaningful sharing beyond surface-level answers. (forbes.com)

9. “What’s one thing you wish more people knew about you?”

people holding shoulders sitting on wall
Source: Duy Pham on Unsplash

This question gives people a chance to reveal something personal. According to FBI insights, prompting people to share what’s often overlooked helps break down social facades. (inc.com) It’s a bridge to authenticity, inviting vulnerability and openness in new interactions.

10. “How do you handle challenging situations?”

10. “How do you handle challenging situations?”
A group of colleagues engaged in a lively discussion, collaboratively brainstorming solutions to a complex problem. | Photo by Mikhail Nilov on Pexels

Inquiring about problem-solving allows mutual respect and admiration to grow. FBI negotiators often ask about resilience to build trust. This topic uncovers character, showing you appreciate and respect their experiences and approach. (pon.harvard.edu)

11. “What’s your favorite way to unwind after a long day?”

11. “What’s your favorite way to unwind after a long day?”
A tranquil spa room with soft lighting, soothing aromas, and comfortable furnishings, inviting relaxation and well-being. | Photo by Cedric Fauntleroy on Pexels

Discussing relaxation encourages emotional safety and connection. FBI negotiation experts recommend finding common ground in self-care habits as a foundation for trust. This question signals empathy and interest in their well-being. (pon.harvard.edu)

12. “Is there a cause or charity you care deeply about?”

12. “Is there a cause or charity you care deeply about?”
A group of volunteers distributing food and essentials to families in need, embodying compassion and empathy. | Photo by Pranidchakan Boonrom on Pexels

Showing interest in someone’s values or passions provides immediate insight into their priorities. According to negotiation trainers, connecting over purpose accelerates trust. (time.com) This question frames the conversation around shared humanity and empathy.

13. “Have you read or watched anything interesting lately?”

13. “Have you read or watched anything interesting lately?”
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Engaging in conversations about recent media sparks lively interaction and highlights shared tastes. FBI negotiation methods include using neutral topics to lower defenses. (time.com) This approach kickstarts dialogue without pressure, making everyone comfortable.

14. “What keeps you motivated?”

14. “What keeps you motivated?”
A determined runner sprints along a sunlit path, embodying unwavering motivation and purpose. | Photo by Tima Miroshnichenko on Pexels

Discussing motivation creates a space for meaningful insight and alignment. FBI experts note that exploring what drives someone fosters immediate rapport. This question serves as a shortcut to establishing common purpose in conversations. (inc.com)

15. “What’s something you’re looking forward to?”

woman sitting on brown wooden chair while using silver laptop computer in room
Source: Brooke Cagle on Unsplash

Focusing on anticipation encourages optimism and connection. Such forward-looking talk reduces anxiety and forges positive associations, according to negotiation research. It highlights hope and dreams, key for trust-building. (hbr.org)

16. “What would your ideal day look like?”

two women talking while looking at laptop computer
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Asking about an ideal scenario lets people share their aspirations, creating a window into their personality. FBI negotiators believe this method reveals openness and builds empathy quickly. (pon.harvard.edu)

17. “What’s the most interesting place you’ve traveled to?”

17. “What’s the most interesting place you’ve traveled to?”
A lone traveler stands atop a rugged mountain peak, gazing out over a vast, untouched wilderness. | Photo by Ron Lach on Pexels

Travel conversations warm people up and signal interest in their life experiences. FBI negotiation principles use story prompts to foster bonds. This question prompts memorable storytelling and positive connections. (lonelyplanet.com)

18. “Is there a skill or hobby you’d like to learn?”

18. “Is there a skill or hobby you’d like to learn?”
A group of friends gathered around a table, sharing their latest creative projects and discussing their personal growth journeys. | Photo by Ron Lach on Pexels

Discussing learning goals shows personal growth is valued. FBI experts suggest focusing on potential builds trust by communicating support and curiosity. This question positions you as an ally in their self-development. (inc.com)

Conclusion

Conclusion
A close-up of two hands shaking firmly, symbolizing a strong bond built on trust and open conversation. | Photo by Pavel Danilyuk on Pexels

Implementing science-backed conversation starters, such as those inspired by FBI negotiation techniques, can transform brief encounters into meaningful connections. (time.com) By actively listening, practicing empathy, and asking open-ended questions, you can foster trust and rapport in everyday interactions. Experimenting with these prompts may lead to more engaging and authentic conversations, enhancing both personal and professional relationships.

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