Etiquette isn’t just about manners—it’s a reflection of the times. As society shifts, what was once considered polite or respectful can become outdated, even puzzling, to the next generation. Older adults often hold onto customs that were essential in their youth, seeing them as cornerstones of civility, while younger people, especially Gen Z, may find these traditions unnecessary or even restrictive. Understanding these differences highlights how social norms evolve—and why etiquette is never static.
1. Always Addressing People by Their Title and Last Name
For many over 60, using titles like Mr., Mrs., or Miss followed by the last name is a sign of respect and professionalism. In contrast, Gen Z typically prefers using first names, seeing it as a way to promote inclusivity and break down formal barriers. Workplaces have especially shifted, with more companies adopting first-name cultures to foster equality and approachability among colleagues.
2. Sending Handwritten Thank You Notes
Older generations often insist on sending handwritten thank you notes, believing they show extra thought and effort. There’s a sense of tradition and personal touch in putting pen to paper, which many find deeply meaningful. However, Gen Z usually opts for quick digital messages, viewing them as equally sincere and far more practical. Even leading etiquette experts now acknowledge the rise of digital gratitude, as noted by the Emily Post Institute.
3. Calling Instead of Texting
For people over 60, making a phone call is seen as the respectful way to handle important conversations, announcements, or even casual check-ins. Gen Z, however, often finds phone calls time-consuming and intrusive, preferring to text for clarity and convenience. This generational divide is evident in family interactions—grandparents may call to share news or ask questions, while younger relatives respond via text, believing it’s more efficient and considerate of everyone’s time.
4. Waiting for the Host to Start Eating
Traditionally, older adults insist on waiting until the host takes the first bite before anyone else starts eating. This gesture is meant to show respect and patience at the table. Today’s more casual dining habits, especially among Gen Z, often skip this ritual. In relaxed settings like group brunches or casual dinners, people frequently dig in as soon as their food arrives—no formal cue required.
5. Dressing Up for Air Travel
For much of the 20th century, flying was a special occasion, and people dressed in their finest clothes for air travel. Suits, dresses, and polished shoes were the norm at airports. Today, Gen Z travelers prioritize comfort over formality, favoring sweatpants, hoodies, and sneakers. This dramatic shift reflects the democratization of air travel and changing societal values, as outlined in Smithsonian Magazine.
6. Not Discussing Money, Politics, or Religion
Older etiquette guides strictly advised against discussing money, politics, or religion in polite company, considering these topics too controversial or divisive. Gen Z, however, is more likely to engage in open conversations—both online and offline—about these previously taboo subjects. Social media has fostered a culture of transparency and activism, with many young people believing that silence perpetuates inequality. This willingness to talk candidly marks a significant generational shift in what’s considered appropriate conversation.
7. Always Bringing a Host Gift
For those over 60, showing up to someone’s home empty-handed is considered poor manners. A bottle of wine, flowers, or a small gift is a traditional gesture of appreciation. Gen Z, however, is less likely to follow this rule—especially for casual gatherings—focusing instead on shared experiences and informal hospitality. While thoughtful, the expectation of a host gift has faded in many modern social circles.
8. Standing When Someone Enters the Room
Older etiquette dictates standing up when someone enters the room, especially for elders or guests, as a sign of respect and attentiveness. Today, Gen Z often opts for more casual greetings, like a wave or verbal hello, regardless of whether they’re seated. This relaxed approach reflects a culture where respect is shown through inclusiveness and authenticity, rather than strictly adhering to traditional formalities.
9. Writing in Cursive
For many over 60, neat cursive handwriting was a mark of education and refinement, drilled into students from an early age. With the rise of digital communication, Gen Z rarely uses cursive, and many schools have even dropped it from the curriculum. Typing and texting now dominate, making cursive feel like a relic of the past for younger generations.
10. Waiting for Everyone to Be Served
Traditional etiquette insists that no one should begin eating until everyone at the table has received their meal. This practice shows consideration and unity. However, Gen Z and younger diners often take a more flexible approach, especially in informal settings or at restaurants, starting to eat as soon as their food is served. The focus has shifted to comfort and practicality rather than strict adherence to old dining rules.
11. Using Formal Table Settings
Older generations often view elaborate table settings—with multiple forks, knives, and plates—as a hallmark of proper dining. Special occasions might include salad forks, soup spoons, and dessert plates, all arranged meticulously. Gen Z, on the other hand, usually favors minimalist setups, even for gatherings. Simplicity and ease have replaced formality, reflecting a modern approach to entertaining that prioritizes comfort over tradition.
12. RSVP Etiquette for Invitations
For many over 60, promptly responding to invitations is non-negotiable—RSVPs are expected as a basic courtesy so hosts can plan accordingly. This tradition traces back to handwritten invitations and formal events. Today, with digital invites and group chats, Gen Z often responds last-minute or with less formality. Event planning has become more casual, and the sense of urgency around RSVPing has diminished, much to the surprise of older hosts.
13. Not Using Phones at the Table
For older generations, using a phone at the dinner table is seen as disrespectful and distracting—mealtime should be reserved for face-to-face conversation. Gen Z, however, often integrates technology into social settings, sharing photos, looking up information, or messaging friends without hesitation. While some still value phone-free meals, the line between digital and in-person interaction has blurred, reflecting new norms around connectivity and socializing.
14. Men Always Paying for Dates
Traditionally, men were expected to pay for meals and outings when dating, reflecting old-fashioned gender roles and notions of chivalry. Today, Gen Z is far more likely to split the bill or take turns paying, seeing it as a reflection of equality and mutual respect. Modern dating etiquette now embraces flexibility, with many couples openly discussing finances and expectations, as noted in NBC News.
15. Sending Christmas Cards
Mailing Christmas cards was once a cherished annual ritual, with families spending hours selecting, signing, and sending personalized greetings. Today, Gen Z favors digital holiday wishes—texts, emails, or social media posts—over physical cards. While some still enjoy the nostalgia of a mailed card, most younger people find digital messages just as heartfelt and far more convenient, as highlighted by USA Today.
16. Apologizing for Small Inconveniences
Older generations are quick to say “sorry” for even the smallest inconveniences—a habit rooted in politeness and social harmony. Gen Z, however, is more mindful about when and why to apologize, aiming to avoid unnecessary or excessive apologies. They often reserve “sorry” for genuine mistakes rather than as a reflexive response in everyday interactions.
17. Using ‘Sir’ and ‘Ma’am’
Addressing people as “sir” or “ma’am” has long been a sign of respect, especially in the South and among older generations. Gen Z tends to avoid these terms, favoring informal greetings or even gender-neutral alternatives to prevent assumptions and foster inclusivity. This shift reflects evolving attitudes about hierarchy and identity, making traditional honorifics feel outdated in many modern contexts.
18. Expecting Thank You Calls for Gifts
Older adults often expect a phone call as a personal thank you after giving a gift, viewing it as the proper way to show appreciation. Gen Z, on the other hand, is more likely to send a quick text or a message on social media. While still grateful, their preference for digital communication signals a shift in how gratitude is expressed.
19. Following Strict Dress Codes for Events
Older generations often adhere to strict dress codes for weddings, funerals, and other significant events, believing that formal attire shows respect for the occasion. Gen Z, however, frequently embraces more expressive and individual styles, even at traditional gatherings. Personal comfort and authenticity now take precedence over rigid rules, reflecting a broader cultural movement toward flexible dress codes and self-expression.
How Etiquette Continues to Change
Etiquette is never truly fixed—it mirrors the ongoing evolution of society itself. What may seem outdated or odd to Gen Z still holds deep meaning for many older adults, connecting them to the values and customs of their past. By staying open-minded and respecting different traditions, we foster greater understanding across generations. Ultimately, the key is to balance personal comfort with consideration for others, embracing the diversity of modern manners as we move forward together.
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