Alright, ladies, let’s get real. Ever been left utterly confused by the dudes in your life? Yeah, us too. It’s like trying to crack a secret code, and we’re all just here, sipping our coffee, trying to figure it out. Here’s the lowdown on the things that leave us scratching our heads – the quirky, confusing, and sometimes downright baffling things guys do. So, grab your favorite snacks, call up your girl gang, and let’s spill the tea. We’re all in this together, trying to crack the guy code and make sense of the mysteries that come with them. Who knows, maybe by sharing stories, we’ll unlock the secrets of the male universe. Cheers to decoding!
Sleeps through anything! Annoying neighbor kids running through the house? Fast asleep! Baby crying? Snores away! Phone rings? Sawing logs! I have to have it absolutely silent and I still can’t sleep because I know someone is going to need something soon.
As someone who’s friends with more males than females, male friendships baffle me.
You rip into each other (and your female friends) like there’s no tomorrow. If I threw any of your insults at a female friend, I’m not sure they’d speak to me for the next 24 hours, yet you all shrug it off like it’s nothing – everyone should have this quality, although it’s undeniable some of you blokes take it too far sometimes.
On top of that, half of you don’t even seem to know anything about your friends. I know everything about my pals from their star sign and parent’s names through to their favorite food and drink, yet I ask you ‘When is Dan’s birthday?’, knowing full well it’s next week and we all need to organize something, and you’re oblivious. You’ve been mates for years. Baffling.
A guy asked my friend for her number. He never called. Something similar happened to me. Why even bother getting someone’s phone number?
In my case, we texted and agreed to meet up on a certain day and grab drinks. Fast forward, to said day (a Friday) he texts me, saying that he has to work now because his colleague called in sick (he works in a bar). He told me he was going to message me on Monday so we could set something up again but he never did. I’m assuming he got nervous or met someone else?
Do you not have enough fiber in your diet? Are man poops unfathomably large to a woman and just take so much effort to pass? Maybe you’re just sitting there playing on your phone?
Most men I’ve met spend at least half an hour each time pooping. If a woman spent half an hour on the toilet, you’d be worried she passed out in there or something.
My wife doesn’t use Reddit but said the one thing that really confuses her about me is my ability to think/do nothing. I can be sitting here, totally still and barely blinking for minutes or hours. Usually while “watching” a TV show or movie. She’ll come in and ask what I’m watching and what’s it about and I generally will shrug and say no clue, not really paying attention.
I know a version of this has been floating around for years, but for those who don’t understand it goes like this. If you envision a woman’s mind, every little thing is connected no matter how limited that connection is. Think of it like a spider’s web. A guy’s mind is more like a storage rack, full of boxes. We have boxes for car info, nerdy things, dirty things, important dates, etc. Every guy has that one very special box though, usually tucked down in the corner, not even labeled. This is our “Nothing” box. This is where we shut our brains off for an undetermined amount of time and just relax.
What’s the deal with guys not wanting to use lotion or chapstick? Every guy I’ve dated thus far has denied my offer for lotion or chapstick when they complain about having chapped lips and dry skin.
Why are guys so apprehensive about receiving gifts? Buddy, I found a cool pair of socks that looks like a shark is eating your foot, and I paid next to nothing for it. Why do you have to act like you now have to pay for my college tuition? Can I not just gift guys things for fun?
Why are guys so apprehensive about receiving gifts? Buddy, I found a cool pair of socks that looks like a shark is eating your foot, and I paid next to nothing for it. Why do you have to act like you now have to pay for my college tuition? Can I not just gift guys things for fun?
Why are so many of you so into cars? I just don’t get it. You don’t need to go 0 to 100 in 3 seconds when you live in the suburbs. Actually, no one who isn’t a race driver needs to go that fast. Also kinda odd how you can be in the middle of a conversation and get distracted like “Yeah, work was ok and I had this really big OMG LOOK A LAMBORGHINI!!! presentation but I think it went ok.
3 in 1 shampoo. Sometimes when I stay the night, I wash my hair. I never learned my lesson, and my hair feels like hay the next time. I’m convinced his hair is only “greasy” because his scalp is so incredibly dry that it overproduces oil. We stayed at a hotel once and he washed his hair with hotel shampoo and was amazed at how much better his hair felt.
I’ve given up on trying to get him to use actual shampoo. Worse, he doesn’t even do it in 2 separate applications! He plops like a quarter cup of shampoo on his (short) hair and then uses the RUN OFF to wash his body.
The way you totally geek out about something when you like it. Like when you like a band. A girl usually knows the band which kind of music they play, and which songs she likes. A guy who likes a band, knows every band member’s full name, their life story, how long it took them to learn their instruments, their childhood trauma, where they were when they made this and that song, why they chose their band name, etc. Not saying no girls do this, or all guys, but it’s like most guys totally geek out when they find something they like.
Men hurt themselves in idiotic ways for fun and bragging rights. Example: two grown men punched their hands in a fire ant bed and left them there, glaring intensely and cussing at each other, just to see who could stand it longer. No money was wagered. They were just doing it to prove they could be better than each other. I have never seen a woman do anything like that. Not to say they never do, but the vast majority of dumb competition injuries I’ve seen have been in men.
I would appreciate it if y’all could tell me if you’re unhappy about something, if it involves me, what I can do to fix it, and why it upset you.
I know women are known for this as well, but it’s more a matter of communication and for me to feel more at peace. I’ve accepted that guys aren’t all that open about their feelings. That’s fine. Plenty of women aren’t too, it’s NBD. What I don’t like is that all the guys I know will say “nothing” if I ask what’s wrong, and then stew or sulk for hours. Even if it isn’t intentional or it’s subtle, it’s going to set the tone for the day and it will affect how my day is going to go, too. Guy friends, relatives, my BF…they all seem to do this to some degree. I’m going to automatically assume it’s something I did or said- why else would you be scowling, pouting, or not talking to/acknowledging me? What’s with the sudden quietness, one-word answers, or disinterest in everything?
The very least you can do is a) if you have a problem with me, talk to me about it and b) if it doesn’t involve me at all, alleviate my concerns please so I’m not freaking out trying to recount where I messed up. I don’t care if it’s something minor, something big, or something totally irrelevant. Just if I ask, say “I’m just mad about this, it’s put me in a mood for now,” so I know I’m not the problem.
Not all, but many – won’t take 5 seconds to do a thing now.
It’s one of the reasons so many wives nag and so many jokes about “honey-do” lists. Men don’t see things around them that can be done in 5 seconds as they move through their day. They think picking a piece of paper up off the floor as they pass through the room is something that can/should/would be done when it is time to clean that room, but women will just pick it up because it caught their attention and it needs to be done so why wait.
They also believe that a woman who does all the things she sees and isn’t planning somehow makes her scatterbrained. Yeah, she went to make a shopping list but when she looked in the fridge she spotted old moldy food that needed to be tossed and then she was at the sink so she might as well take care of the 4 things in there that need to be washed and then she cleans out the drain into the trash and notices the trash is full so she ties up the bag and takes it out and remembers trash is tomorrow so she rolls the can to the curb and on her way back in spots some weeds in the flower bed so leans down and pulls those. Comes back inside and grabs a drink of water because she’s EXHAUSTED… from making a shopping list.
He needs to learn to do the 5-second thing right then.
She needs to learn to stop after the 5-second thing is done.
Buying groceries and putting away all the cold items…taking everything else out of the bags and leaving it on the counter until I finally break and put them away.
I don’t know if this is just me but, always when I grew up I saw the boys in my classes and they always seemed to have friends around them and like they never had any issues with them at all. At some points, I wished I was a boy just so I would always have friends. It’s hard to explain but it just seemed like the boys always made friends with the other boys easier than It was for me to make friends with other girls. At some point, I was jealous. I noticed this trend started to fade out around high school but I’m still curious if it’s actually true that guys feel like they make friends easier.
So my friends and I were playing laser tag against a team of all girls and we didn’t even have to talk to each other we knew exactly where to go what to do how to work together while staying silent the entire time. Meanwhile, the girls were shouting at each other to go places which really worked to their disadvantage because we had ears. We ended up scoring over 100,000 points I think while they only scored under 10,000. After we got out of the arena place thing they came up to us and asked us and I quote “Do you guys have telepathy or something you didn’t speak at all during the game” I and friends just cracked smiles and said that we were really good at laser tag. The moral of the story: apes together strong.
The alpha/wolf rank systems. Guys, the person who discovered that wolves fight over dominance admitted that he was wrong and that the pack was not a good example because it was not a family pack, the wolves were not related as they would be in the wild.
An alpha is not mean, powerful, dominant, or any such thing. The alpha wolves are the mother and father of the pack, and the other wolves are their children. The alphas provide, protect, and are not exclusively male nor drowning any other strong males they find.
This probably won’t go over well, but because so much has to do with men and friendship and making friends, here is some insight. Obviously, men are wired differently than women, but in this case, it’s for the better (sorry). Men don’t feel threatened by other men unless there is an actual threat. Until something gives them cause for concern, they see no threat and will not look for a threat. Therefore, they have little conflict with other men. Women? Not so much. Women are extremely threatened by other women for multiple reasons. Women are brutal to each other whether it’s clothes, friends, men, shoes, hairstyle, kids, etc. Men can be friends with a far more handsome man and not only will he NOT feel threatened by it, he is impressed by it. Women? Not so much….at all. Sure, there are exceptions, but in general, women can be very nasty to other women. Immediately. Even within their friend group, it is not uncommon to have contempt toward the woman who gets the most attention from men. Men don’t do that. Another phenomenon is the mother-in-law/daughter-in-law conflict. Something you hardly ever see among sons and fathers-in-law.
I always smile when I hear women say “If women ruled the world we wouldn’t have so many problems.” If women ruled the world, we would be a nuclear wasteland by now 😉
Their obsession with girls that play video games/participate in “masculine” activities- but only if the girl is attractive.
I am 19 now and I went through a massive tomboy phase when I was 12-16ish. I played baseball, listened to heavy metal music, and played lots of Uncharted and Fallout(PlayStation over Xbox forever). I also wore exclusively men’s clothes and had a pixie cut. I never got any attention, which is cool cause I never wanted any tbh lol.
When I was mid-16 I decided to grow my hair out and dress more feminine. However, to this day I still love all of my hobbies in gaming, music, etc. But as soon as I started “looking like a girl” these became desirable traits.
Why is a girl that “acts like a guy” so attractive? My husband says that it’s solely because women who like video games and such are less likely to nag a man for doing these things.
One of the biggest insults I can receive is being told I’m “not like other girls.” Ummm, wtf? Of course, I’m not like “other girls.” Shockingly, no girls are exact clones of each other…. because we’re all human beings with unique interests and personalities. There’s no such thing as the so-called “other girls.”
As a keynote speaker of the Women of Reddit, one thing that I know, which confuses our members, and is also a regular agenda in our incredibly regular meetups, is how a common cold will bring a man an inch from death. We are both confused and in awe of your bravery and courage in facing this pervasive infliction.
Why do men joke so much about being “tied down” in marriage? Generally, men ask women to marry them, why do they act like their wives are the bane of their existence if their actions show that they wanted to get married in the first place??
When men leave one hand in their pants. I don’t mean sensually, I mean just randomly in conversation or when relaxing. I’m assuming it feels nice or is a subconscious habit, or maybe a power play (as in the “yeah-i-have-a-d*ck energy”), or maybe it’s the male version of testing “my eyes are up here!” I haven’t really thought about this much before, I’m just making guesses. Personally, I’ve never seen a woman do this, but maybe some women like to leave their hands in their pants too / under their shirt
Why do they just think you know that they love you for years on end? It is really nice to hear it once in a while. Not every second of every day but once in a while. Just a single rose or card or kiss. Even a hug. It means so much to us. A date out eat sometimes. Once a month or 2 just us. Is that so bad? Alone time. Just sit on the porch swing after dark, have a beer, and talk. Any of that matters. If not we look other places for someone who cares because we think you don’t care anymore. I know this is too long but if you read it maybe it will help you see what we need. That’s all.
Not understanding their feelings or emotions. Emotional intelligence and self-awareness are something I value a lot in a man, but even the most emotional and self-aware men lack in this department, and it’s very confusing to me.
I know exactly how I feel about everyone at all times. I’ll know exactly how I feel about a guy I went on three dates with and how I feel about him after having sex with him. Men, on the other hand, need a lot more time to process what they feel in my experiences with them.
I don’t have confusion over my feelings. I know what I feel, I know why I feel the way that I do. But… it’s been my experience in life that coming to a decision on how men feel about someone, whether it be good or bad, is something that takes a long time to process especially if it’s in the romantic department.
This isn’t even an observation I’ve made with myself, it’s something I’ve seen my male friends go through. It will go like this:
Friend: “This girl I’ve been seeing and having sex with for the last two months is asking me to define the relationship, but I just don’t know how I feel about her”
Me: “What do you mean you don’t know how you feel about her? It’s been two months and you guys talk every day, you have sex often and you say its pretty good, you enjoy her company. Sounds to me like you like her”
Friend: “That just means I like having sex with her and I like spending time with her, but I’m not sure if I LIKE her yet”
**A few weeks later**
Friend: “I’m sad because I ruined things with a girl. I wasn’t sure if I liked her so now things are ruined. Now that she is no longer in my life or available, I realize that I miss her and that I actually did LIKE her”
My good guy friend (let’s say Pete) mentioned he met this guy and they became really close friends. Meaning, that my friend Pete would be at his house for hours each day watching football or playing video games and whatever, they were close.
Pete told me he hadn’t heard from his friend in a couple of days and he became worried. After a week of not hearing from him, didn’t reply to his texts, calls, etc. Pete thought his friend just didn’t wanna hang out anymore, and he felt pretty upset.
After about 10 days, Pete called me and told me it was just a misunderstanding.
His friend had gone on a 10-day cruise and didn’t have wifi the entire trip.
In the 4-5 months they were friends before this cruise, that conversation never came up once, “Oh hey I’m going on a cruise next week” or anything.
This situation is just so funny to me. Not only would my friends and I have talked about EVERYTHING I’m doing if I were going on a cruise, but they would have helped me pick outfits, packed my suitcase, etc.
We know women don’t feel safe if they’re being followed so we want to overtake you ASAP so you worry less.
It’s not our fault if you all walk so slowly and we are catching up with you anyway so going faster just makes the awkward moment of having to walk behind a girl end faster.
Typically we try to change sidewalks if possible, but it’s not like we can let you know we don’t have ill intentions anyway so there is not much we can do.
We don’t want to slow down to an uncomfortable pace just to avoid walking close to a stranger, which in the end just means we’d follow you for longer.
When they play a video like YouTube or something, they put the volume up to the top or close even though there’s no need to. Or when you’re asleep at night they will go on mic with friends and obnoxiously shout/laugh and get angry if you ask if they can keep the noise down a little. And they don’t have hearing problems. Selective hearing because if you try to say something they can clearly hear five times they’ll ignore you, but if you whisper something under your voice they’ll suddenly hear it.
Men have testosterone in the first place, and sometimes a lot of it (depending on the person) has an impact on the temperance of the man. We are not reckless, but kind of impulsive because high testosterone makes us react fast to things. So we decide to do something, we do it, and that ends the planning process. It’s not like we don’t plan things, it’s that we plan something and just decide very quickly that the plan is adequate the way it is. Women on the other hand plan things, and THEN they go back to the plan over and over to make sure it is PERFECT.
Another part of this behavior is because of social programming, which makes us believe that we have to be First, Fast, and not depend on someone else: that translates to us acting first, and quickly without enough planning, not accepting other’s advice, and just doing this on our own, and then dealing with the consequences (which is also part of being A Man).
Again, it’s not like we don’t think, it’s that we decide quickly and then are too headstrong to accept we made a mistake and just try and solve the problem we created without losing any more time, which also can create new mistakes, and on and on.
But once we fix all the problems, even those created by our own mistakes, we feel like total badasses because we “got stuff done” and in the end, that’s all that matters.
Why do all (or, well, almost all) teenage boys act like hooligans? I’m in a middle school to high school theater program, so generally 11-16-year-old boys, and they’re almost constantly being loud, disruptive, and often not paying attention- It’s really frustrating, especially considering they get all the big parts since they’re, well, boys. This hardly ever happens with girls. So I guess basically I’m asking, why is it so hard for teenage boys to just, keep it together? P.S. replies I am a student actor, not a teacher lmao
I’ve always wondered why some men can grow a big bushy beard (which is a kink of mine) so easily, while other men are just stuck with smooth faces, stubble, or tiny patches of hair in random spots on their faces.
What’s up with that? Is it the hormones that control the way facial hair grows? Or is it genetics?
My partner’s reluctance to go to his prostate examination. I’ve impelled, inveigled, and even implored him to attend but to no avail because he said the procedure is invasive and undignifying. The man is so obstinate that when I’ve even googled and expounded in explicit details about what happens, he refuses to change his mind and go.
What can I do to make this matter more palatable to him? I offered to go with him and he declined. I’ve tentatively asked if anything happened before…you know, if something heinous happened to him in the past but he assured me that he’s never been s*xually a**aulted. There was no prior abuse during his childhood – he will divulge all information about anything I ask but he just won’t attend!
I asked if it’s our specific doctor and I said I’d request a different doctor if he was inhibited or intimidated but no, he’s completely tolerant of our current doctor.
Presumptuously, I even asked if it was due to homosexual connotations, and he said no. I even alluded to any dormant bisexual feelings he might be repressing and he told me to stop being silly. It’s okay, he was apprised of my bisexuality during the nascent stages of our relationship so I implied I was accepting. He made a derisive remark and continued to be irreverent.
Nope. Nothing. Nada. He just doesn’t want the exam. He has no apprehension about cancer, and no symptoms, and now his mother is even admonishing me for being intrusive. He has no debilitating fear of hospitals, and he’s lost no family members to cancer.
I was working at a place for a while that was a small team. We were all overseas and didn’t know anyone else. A new guy joined the team. he moved there and we started hanging out. Great guy, everyone loved him. We all spent a lot of time together because we didn’t know anyone else. Then a few weeks later his wife finished the move and joined us. We’d hand out with him and his wife all the time.
After a couple of weeks of this, one time he was out with the group and someone asked him why his wife didn’t like any of us. why is she always sort of upset to be around us? He told us she has RBF… “Resting b*tch face”. her resting face looks like an upset face. He said she does like us and she has a good time.
I’m a guy, and I think I also have a resting b*tch face. People have told me they don’t talk to me because they think I’m upset.
I’ve learned to think about smiling in the same way you think about saying hello or just being polite. It’s a way to communicate a message. it is also a way to have a positive effect on someone else day. there have also been some interesting studies that show smiling more actually makes you happier.
saying “smile more” is a sort of negative way of encapsulating those ideas into a small piece of unsolicited advice.
I don’t know how common this is but guys picking on/making fun of girls they have a crush on. After I left a job I was told by an old co-worker that one of the guys there had a crush on me, and he was one I had a crush on too but never let on because he would be condescending and poke fun at little stupid things. I never took it to heart just labeled him a jerk and too bad cuz I still thought he was cute and funny and would have gone out with him if he’d asked. So after I left and found out he liked me, I decided I’ll never understand men even though the consensus is that they are simple and if they like you supposedly that means they should be nice to you…right?
When your friend is so intoxicated he can’t function, why do you take pictures/make jokes/make fun of him? I still can’t understand what I’ve seen when it comes to guys doing these things and worse when it’s among friends, in a state where you’re at your most vulnerable. Especially when it gets to the point where you don’t have control of your bladder or you can’t even stand up.
Peeing on the toilet seat. My mother-in-law leaves a face cloth on the floor because my father-in-law still just pees everywhere and it’s all over the seat and floor. My 4 year old has been doing this too which is pretty normal but I told him that if he keeps peeing on the seat he has to sit down to pee and I really think that should be the rule all around.
And to be fair, I don’t get women who do this in public bathrooms. Pretty much, Just your thighs touch the seat! If everyone just sat there wouldn’t be pee on the seat and the next person wouldn’t have to stand.
My wife asked me why I didn’t understand her instructions half the time. I think it’s because I can’t read the context she has in mind.
She: can you put the yellow thing in that thing over there?
me: Find a yellow thing and put it in the box that her finger was pointing at.
She: wtf are you doing? It’s the other yellow thing and you’re putting it in the wrong place.
me: dazed and confusedtrying to figure out what the other yellow thing is and where to put ittry again with a different object
She: facepalm no! You’re doing it wrong! Why are you so stupid? Takes another yellow object
me: oh you meant that yellow towel? Why didn’t you say so from the beginning?
She: I showed you a million times before. You’re useless… Ignore mode and sigh..
I just wanted to make her happy and follow instructions…
For those calling my wife abusive, rest assured we’re happily married and have a toddler and baby at home. So while this was happening, we usually have some screaming kids in the background 😉 just a cumulation of stress and frustration that makes her say those things. BTW she said all of this in Japanese, so imagine a ‘baka’ here and there. Adding to the fact Japanese is even harder to understand its context..read the air they say here!
Man talking golf to friends:
I was on the third hole, my second shot, my ball was in the second cut about 6 feet from that big oak tree and about 3 feet from that big tree that looks like a skinny chic’s butt. I used my three wood and hit the perfect shot landing just 2 feet from the pin.
Wife: can you pick up the third child from school today?
Man: what school does he go to?
This is a made-up scenario to illustrate that I find it confusing that men can remember SO many vivid details about golf and not other things. I actually find it quite charming about my husband how he remembers golf.
The response used the third child because it would be much easier to lose track of where your third child goes to school. The first child everything is new. But by the time a third child comes around and you have kids possibly at 3 different schools it would be easier to mix it up. I used this example as an exaggeration of something my ex-husband once said. The actual situation/comment was Me: will you go to a meeting at the second child’s school at 7:00?
Ex-husband: ok, where is the entrance to the school?
(A scenario about why guys are so apprehensive about getting feminine products for their daughter, wife, girlfriend, etc.)
My wife asks me to pick up tampons for her. That’s fine. Then she says, ‘Oh, make sure you get Specific Brand tampons, they’re the only ones I can use.’ Okay. Still fine.
Get to the store, go to the tampons. Specific Brand… perfect. Wait. There are like 30 sub-types in this brand. Only ones she can use implies a specific requirement. Don’t want to mess this up. Does she need Sporty, Active, Slovenly, Sedentary, Easy Application, or Hard Application, or what? Better text her and find out for sure.
And, now it’s the one time of day she doesn’t have her phone with her, and she’s not responding right away, and now you’ve been standing in front of the tampons for 12 minutes, staring way too intently at them, while women come and go and give you odd searching looks.
Finally, your phone goes off, Sweet Jesus yes, the nightmare is over.
‘I don’t remember which ones they are, they come in a pink box with a wavy line.’
That’s all of them. That’s literally the Specific Brand colors. Help me out here woman. Oh good, she immediately put her phone down and wandered off after solving that for you.
14 texts and 38 minutes later, you finally make it to the till, with two boxes that are the most likely suspects, and so yes, at this point, I do feel a little awkward and harried about the whole ordeal.
I’m a man but for the life of me, I can’t figure out why so many guys are totally OK with bad personal hygiene. I know there are dirty smelly women too but there are so many guys with greasy, dandruffy hair, horrible untreated acne, oily nasty skin, long nails, horrifying breath, wearing the same cheap, greasy, stained t-shirt 4 days in a row, not wiping your butthole properly + not washing while showering, and the classic smelling like a horse that was used as a sex slave by an inbred hillbilly clan
And of course, most of them are wondering why oh why don’t girls flock to them.
I will never understand my husband’s lack of deductive reasoning with his own body. For example, he always complains he’s tired in the middle of the day. He never eats breakfast. So I’ll make him a smoothie as I’m making mine in the morning. He drinks it without complaint.
That night, “Hey husband how did you feel today? Were you tired?”
” No, I had so much energy! It was awesome! “
Next morning, “Hey husband here’s your smoothie and a small lunch (sandwich) so you’re not tired!”
” I don’t eat rabbit food. “
That night, “How was your day?”
” Awful! I was so tired and drained. ” eats nothing but mashed potatoes and fried chicken
My bf and his friends play video games that make them angry and upset more often than not, but they insist they love them and are their favorite games.
They’re nice and pretty and make the room smell nice. I want to buy flowers for all my loved ones but men don’t seem to give care about flowers.
I think flowers are dope and it makes me sad that you guys don’t like them! Yeah, they die but so does everything in life, and not all things look nice and make your room smell pretty. Also, they aren’t that expensive – you can get them cheap at the supermarket and they still make the room nice.
