Ever been in a relationship and scratched your head, wondering, “Wait, I got dumped for THAT?”
We’re diving into those moments when you thought everything was going just fine, and then, out of nowhere, your significant other drops the “we need to talk” bombshell. But the reasons behind the dumping? Oh boy, they can be downright bizarre. So, prepare to hear some jaw-dropping tales of relationships hitting the rocks for the weirdest, wildest, and most head-scratching reasons you can imagine.
College GF’s Dad won 1 million dollars in the state lottery over winter break. Broke up with me over the phone, telling me “Now that I’m rich, I can’t afford to date regular people like you. That’s really the only thing wrong, you’re just regular.”
“We have to break up. I mean, we can’t even get married… you’re allergic to fish!”
She chose the occasional tuna sandwich over me. I laughed and still tell the story so I guess it’s a win!
He dumped me because I cheated on him… In his dream!
Because over the phone, I laughed really really hard and ended up kinda choking on my laugh for like 2 seconds and I said excuse me and we’d been dating 6 months at that point but he said oh that was annoying, not sure if I can deal with that and hung up
A ghost told her to.
A medium got ‘possessed’ by a ghost who told her I wasn’t worth it. So she, with the advice of the lady who was in control of this medium dude, cheated on me with said medium. We broke shortly after.
She said that bees can only fly “because they think they can” and I explained that, no, there’s actually a physical reason they can fly.
A few days later she broke up with me because I made her world “less magical.”
“I don’t feel a spark of anything when we kiss anymore”
At that time I got hit in the mouth with a bat and couldn’t kiss her for the past month. If you didn’t want to be with me just say it or at least come up with a better lie to dump me over
My ex’s cat was named “Ben”. The girl I was dating’s cat was named “Bundles”.
One day, I called “Bundles”, “Ben”. She asked me what I just called her cat. I thought about it and then remembered that was my ex’s cat’s name. I laughed and told her and she was super unimpressed. Broke up with me the next day.
The girl told me she thought this boy who she had a crush on for a long time was gonna ask her out. She said this to me. Her then bf.
I was about to have major back surgery and she said she didn’t think she could spend that much time going back and forth to the hospital because “It takes two people to make a relationship work and if you’re in the hospital I’ll be the only one making it work.”
“God told me not to date you. I’m sorry.”
And guess what: this happened TWICE.
(With two different girls)
I was, apparently, a “bad influence” despite the fact she’d been to juvie for stealing cars, and my old man would’ve beaten me within an inch of my life if I’d stolen something as small as a pack of gum.
“I’m not ready for a relationship”. I thought it was a bad time to bring that up since we were engaged and had been together for almost 2 years.
I know a girl that dumped a guy 5 minutes after she became a cheerleader, because “she was now better than him”.
Everyone who tried out became one.
My ex whom I dated for 3.5 years dumped me because she believed that every couple should have a 90-day no-contact period where the girl initiates it by ghosting and gets to date around and had told me that she would reach out if and when she was ready to come back. When I asked her how she would try to come back…she said that her friend used the “ I’m ready to give you back your stuff” tactic. Apparently, her best friend did that with her husband (who has a very unhealthy dynamic) and she told me a few months about this plan before she ghosted me and enacted this great plan. I remember asking her what would happen if I reached out during this ghosting period and her response was “I know it’s not fair but I would reset the clock to 0 days.”
I might add that this girl is a therapist, was in her middle 20s at the time and gives others professional advice.
She broke up with me over the phone on speaker in her friend’s car (yep that same friend who also did this tactic) and then told me she would reach out later because she still loves me. Safe to say she had another boy of the same ethnicity as me lined up a few days later and she was refusing to answer my friends or I when asked to give my stuff back until I threatened to get the police involved. Even then her roommate (who wasn’t that close to her) had to let me in and give me the stuff. The last time I saw this girl I was in a relationship with her…and I’m happy to say it was for the best! I’ve been with my current girlfriend for almost three years now and if it wasn’t for my ex’s BS plan…I wouldn’t be with the girl of my dreams, in a way healthier physical and mental state, and gotten to see how great my friends are in times of need.
The funniest thing to come out of this whole thing is that whenever my friends and I are debating or arguing about something stupid we always say “90 days bro” or joke about how they will replace me with a discount model of me…referring to my ex dating the discount version of me 3 days after we broke up.
Someone I knew broke up with his girlfriend a day before Valentine’s because he didn’t want to buy her a gift. He thought it was funny, I thought he was a c*nt.
During my freshman year in high school, my boyfriend at the time broke up with me because “I was too poor for him”. A year before we started dating, the company my dad had worked for for 20 years went bankrupt; every single employee lost their job. He was unemployed for two years. Actively seeking, astounding recommendations from previous employers, just no degree.
He refused to go to my house because it “made him feel claustrophobic”. My house is roughly 2,000 square feet, with vaulted ceilings. It’s not a mansion by any means, but it’s not puny either. He didn’t understand why I didn’t get a brand-new car for my birthday like he did. I didn’t even have my license, not to mention we couldn’t afford it.
His father died when he was really young, and they got a metric f*ck ton of money from it. His mom made a lot of money from her job, so they were REALLY well off. He didn’t understand why other people would “choose not to be rich”.
Apparently, he told his mom about our breakup a week later or so because she called me then crying and apologizing for her son’s horrible behavior. She felt horrible that he ended a year-long relationship because of my parent’s income.
I was dating a guy whose parents didn’t like me. It was a long-distance relationship, and so we mostly chatted online but also made occasional phone calls. So we were talking on the phone, and at one point I said, “You shouldn’t have to choose between me and your parents…” The conversation continued, and we decided to break up. We stayed friends. Something like 10 years later, we were talking online when the subject of our breakup came up. Turns out he thought I had said, “You should have to choose between me and your parents…” and decided that he wasn’t going to do that. I would never give someone that kind of ultimatum, that would be ridiculous. It blew my mind that a single misheard word caused us to break up, and we didn’t realize it for 10 years.
Twin complex?
Her twin got jealous. She was the older sister of her twin sibling. They came from a conservative and sheltered family. I was her first boyfriend. She wasn’t going to school (summer break) or have a working at that moment. When we first started going out, her younger twin sister would text her nonstop, then she would make up excuses that her stomach hurt and ask her to come home. I tried to talk to her younger sister and she definitely made it seem like I was stealing her property away. I made a compromise with her to see her at least once a week. I was making time for her even though I was working full-time while she had no job/school. In the end, her sister’s jealousy made it impossible to develop any kind of healthy relationship with her. They were both 23 at the time and would spend most of their time cosplaying (dressing up as anime characters). The weirdest part was they would often dress as the couples in the anime.
So yeah, I was attracted to her kindness, since her sister was actually a really caring person. But it turns out there was a reason why they never dated.
A guy I was dating said we needed to stop seeing each other, because I was 20, and loved (and still love) wearing hoodies, and that apparently “a grown-a** man shouldn’t be wearing that”.
Since when does 20 equal “grown-a** man”?
I was dumped by my girlfriend because she thought I wasn’t going anywhere in life.
Valid excuse except that I have my masters in accountancy, work at a Fortune 50 company making +$70k, and have received 2 promotions during the 4 years I’ve been there. She is in art school finishing up her bachelor’s with daddy’s money and has never worked a day in her life.
“Being with you made me realize that I’m a lesbian” Total self-esteem ruiner there.
My second marriage, right after I was diagnosed with diabetes. She said she watched her Grandfather die from the disease and didn’t want to watch her husband die from it as well.
Imagine how I felt while we lay tangled in each other’s arms, in front of a fire, with my boyfriend playing with my hair, then suddenly, somehow that moment of pure happiness made him feel guilty because it was like he was cheating on his best friend. That’s when he felt compelled to confess to me, and I QUOTE: “You are an ideal girlfriend, You amaze me every day, but no one will ever live up to my SISTER.” I was dumped for his sister.
He grew up best friends with his sister and apparently developed a magical idea of her as a female standard. I don’t think it was incestuous, but more infatuation and a flawed social development. Geniuses are great, but they are often also total morons. Compassionate justifications aside, come on, what a D*CK! After his confession he got up and booked me a flight that left in 5 hours (so I couldn’t sleep) and had 4 stops so I’d be travelling from 7 am and get home around midnight. A straight flight was 3 hours. I bet he’d have booked his sister a direct flight. And all because we were too happy. Creepy b*stard. It’s ok, In my rush to pack my bags I may have also packed every gift I ever gave him that I could get my hands on. I’ll be d*mned before I leave someone with super thoughtful gifts that I put real love and consideration into.
On the surface, it sounded okay. My GF and I were kind of fizzling out. But when she dumped me, she said it was because I was not religious enough. She wanted to go to church every Sunday and for major religious holidays. I was okay with her going but I was conflicted about religion at the time so I didn’t want to go. So that is what she said when she dumped me. Seems like a decent reason. What made it ridiculous is that about 6 months later, she was dating the president of the college atheist group.
I had been dating a baseball player for a little over 2 years, and at one of his games, he got hit in the head with a baseball and got amnesia. Completely forgot who I was.
I tried explaining what happened, but he just couldn’t seem to understand. I was trying to be gentle and see if he would remember on his own, but when he didn’t I just told him we were together. He looked me up and down and said “I wouldn’t date somebody like you.” and walked away. I tried contacting him, but he completely cut me off. Weirdest and hardest break-up ever.
He phoned me, met me for coffee, sat me down and said – in a very serious voice – “I’m sorry. I don’t think we can carry on seeing each other. And it’s because you’re blonde. And even though I like you a lot, but I just envisage my future with a brunette”.
Especially funny because:
We’d only known each other 2 weeks
We’d only slept together once
My blonde hair is dyed. I’m actually a brunette.
Because I’m too nice, too calm and rational and not ‘passionate’ enough. She would deliberately act crazy and f*ck with me just to get me angry just to see what my temper was like, seeing how far she could push it. I don’t know, maybe she wanted me to scream like a madman, break stuff or hit her or something, but I never did. I’d just leave and say ‘I’ll be back when you’ve calmed down’. F*cking crazy, glad I moved on.
“I love you so much and want to spend the rest of my life with you. We have to break up, if it’s really meant to be then we will end up together again like they do in the movies.”
Because I wouldn’t drop the restraining order on him.
Apparently, me calling the police on him to get him out of my house, putting a restraining order on him because he was trying to kill me, and then calling the police on him when he broke the restraining order didn’t mean we broke up.
It took standing in front of a judge to extend my restraining order for him to tell me, “Whatever b*tch, it’s over”.
Because I guess I was just joking with everything else.
I got dumped because the headlights on my car didn’t come on automatically when I started the car.
I’m assuming he had other reasons, but this is what I was told. And I love laughing at it!
A disagreement about whether a milkshake was ice cream.
It was winter, 2 a.m., I’m driving her home. We’re talking, having a good time, things are great. She says she wants some ice cream. Where in the heck am I going to get that in this season at this time of night?
So I stop in a fast food place and order a milkshake (the closest I figured they had), and she gives me a dumb look. Our conversation goes something like this:
“That’s not ice cream”
“It’s the closest I can get you right now. You don’t want it?”
“No, I want ice cream. That’s not ice cream.”
“Alright then, no worries, I’ll take you home”
“I’m not even sure why you tried to get a milkshake. Do you not understand what ice cream is?”
“It has ice cream in it. Just a little extra milk, too.”
“No, it’s not ice cream. Why would you do that?”
“It’s no big deal. Sorry it didn’t work out. Let’s change the subject”
“Oh my god, you always do this. Any time you’re wrong, you refuse to talk about it!”
The conversation escalated, she refused to drop it no matter how much I insisted it wasn’t a big deal, and when I finally got to her dorm, she hopped out of the car, slammed my door, and blocked me on social media. Haven’t spoken to her since.
We had a similar fight about whether “maroon” was “red” earlier in the relationship, but somehow we managed to recover from that one.
My first wife dumped me because she said her boyfriend was around to spend more time with her and our son. I was deployed to Afghanistan.
This happened when I was 21, and the girl was 22.
She was Hispanic, and I’m white. We were in the phase before a relationship, so I guess we were seeing each other?
Anyway, we got along great, and to this day, I still think she is just an amazing person with a heart of gold. We were out to eat one night at Applebee’s, and the conversation of food came up.
We discussed our favorite foods, what we didn’t like, etc. She mentioned something about trying new things, specifically things like Rocky Mountain Oysters, Bull testicles, Frog legs, etc.
I’m a relatively picky eater, admittedly, so I told her I didn’t think that I could try any of those things. The rest of the night went on just fine, and I didn’t think anything of it.
A couple of nights later when I was talking to her on the phone, she said she didn’t think we should see each other anymore, because she believed that I was prejudiced against other people’s cultures because I wouldn’t try any of their traditional foods.
I was kind of blown away, but she had already made her mind up, so I wasn’t going to stop her.
I still keep in touch with her from time to time, even though she now lives 3,000 miles away.
He told me over the course of our whole relationship he thought I’d look cute with short hair. So I eventually cut my hair. He dumped me the next day.
We had gone to dinner the night I got it cut and the next day he texted me saying he felt uncomfortable the whole time at the restaurant because I looked like a child. I’m 5′ 1″ with chunky cheeks I look like a child no matter what. Anyways long text message short he didn’t want to feel awkward being around me from here on out.
My hair is the now longest and healthiest it’s ever been. (:
My fiancé of 3 years dumped me with the explanation, “We go to Target WAY too much. Also, I don’t love you.”
I really love telling this story because I’m so far removed from it that I can now look at it from a humorous perspective; I’m also generally pretty good at self-deprecating humor so this usually gets some good laughs when I tell it to people. Hey, the jack*ss proposed AND broke up with me in super lame ways, I’m going to capitalize on the story as much as I can.
I told him I didn’t like Star Wars.
He was really into it. And by that, I mean he watches the movies very often and has every single one of the pop-figure things related to Star Wars.
Around the 5th time of watching a movie with him, I couldn’t lie anymore and told him that Star Wars wasn’t my thing and asked if we could watch something else.
He freaked out and I ended up walking home because he was starting to throw things. In hindsight, him throwing things over me not liking something he did was probably a hint that he wasn’t a great guy.
He’s now in the army and dating someone who’s underage.
Oh, how the turn tables.
We were both 25. Apparently, I was too serious for my age. I was just doing my undergrad, reading and having beers with the fellas on the weekends.
She was more of a party girl, worked as a bartender and was really into the nightlife. I was (and still am) more calm; a few beers and good conversation is more me. Not really an ”in the club” person.
Looking back, I’m pretty sure what she wanted to say was: ”You’re too boring for me” or ”We’re too different”. But she ended up saying I was too serious.
It did sting a bit and had me reflect on how I behave around people; Am I too negative or reserved? Stuff like that. While we had different interests, those differences did give us a lot to talk about. I liked her relaxed perspective on things.
Three times in a row now it’s been “I can’t give you what you deserve.”
Um, what? I’m not needy or high-maintenance in the least. I’m perfectly self-sufficient when I’m alone. But I keep being told that they can’t provide the life that they think I should have and that I should find someone who can put me on the pedestal that they can’t give me.
I don’t care about any of that. I want to be with you. What makes you think you’re not adequate enough for me? You are. I just want to live my life with you.
And cuddle n*ked under the blankets watching TV.
The last two guys I have been emotionally involved with, we’ve gotten along perfectly. Rarely, if ever, had an argument. And they have both vanished from my life without any explanation. I don’t know what the heck I’m doing wrong.
What hurts more is that I can handle staying friends with them after a relationship, but they don’t even want to maintain that. What the heck did I do to offend you so much that you don’t want to associate with me at all anymore?
Stop doing that. It hurts.
We had been dating for about a month and were carded at a bar. She looked at my ID and saw I was almost two months younger than her. She was mortified and said she doesn’t date younger guys because of how immature they are. We went out one more time and that was it.
Jokes on her. I’m WAY older now and still immature!
Dated for four years. We went to the beach with my family that weekend, and we all drove in the same car. Me and him rode in the backseat on the way home and I fell asleep on his shoulder. I woke up from a text from him saying he was dumping me…so not only did we treat this guy to a free vacation, but he had the audacity to dump me while I was asleep, through a text, in front of my parents, while we were all trapped in a car for the next 3 hours. Looking back it was hilarious, but I definitely didn’t think so at the time.
I got dumped for things that hadn’t happened yet. “I can’t continue dating you because tournament season is coming up and I don’t know how I’ll be able to handle sports, academics and you. If I start slipping on my academics, then I won’t get good grades which means no scholarship which means college debt and I don’t want debt so we have to break up.” What. The. F*ck.
A girl once asked me if I wanted to go out to eat. She did so in person. She saw that I was wearing my nursing scrubs from school. I told her I had a gift card from Chili’s that we could use.
She drove us there. When we got there, she started going ballistic on me about what I chose to wear for the date. She said I could have driven home and changed first. She then said it was really cheap to use a gift card on a date. She walked out of the restaurant. So did I.
She got in her car and left me. As I walked down the road, she drove up beside me and yelled “Get in this car!”
I refused, and I walked for 2 hours back to my truck. I never talked to her again. She lived in my neighborhood.
One of my exes dumped me on Christmas because I got a matching tattoo with my sister on my shoulder. He told me that he thought girls with tattoos in that spot were “trashy”.
It was my second tattoo. He bought me my first. It was ON MY LOWER BACK.
Turns out this was just another manipulative tactic to control me. He dumped me a few other times for asinine reasons before I finally left.
My ex-husband told me that he had been meditating all day, had an out-of-body experience, and a god had told him that we weren’t meant to be together. He didn’t specify which god, and I never asked.
Eventually found out that he had been sleeping with another woman. Big surprise, right?
He said I read too much and it was a real turn-off. It’s not even as if I read that much. I just read when on public transport or when I sit on the couch in the evening and he’s watching TV :/
These were his exact words: “I just think girls who read are really ugly and it’s just a waste of your free time.”
I know I’m plain-looking and all but ouch. You do not want your boyfriend to tell you you’re ugly. And I don’t understand why reading would be more of a waste of time than watching TV or gaming. (I do both too, don’t get me wrong, but he literally did nothing else in his free time. Apparently, this was acceptable for me but reading was not.)
First date:
Me: I don’t want kids. Ever. Had surgery to make sure I never would.
Him: Okay
two years later, wedding plans underway
Him: So I wanna have a couple of kids within five years
Me: What? You know I had my tubes tied. That’s why we don’t have to use condoms, remember?
Him: Yeah, I know, but I thought I could go impregnate my last fiancee. She doesn’t want kids but doesn’t mind surrogating for us. Then you could raise them! Cool, huh?
Me: boggles for a full minute What part of “I went through a painful and expensive surgery to make sure I never have kids” suggests to you that I actually want to raise kids?! Let alone yours by another woman?
Him: You are ruining my dreams! I thought you’d change your mind if you really loved me! picks up chick in the gym the following week, phones me constantly to describe in explicit detail what an amazing f*ck she is, marries her 6 months later, they punch out a couple of rug rats, and she makes him sell the vintage Camaro that he’s literally spent the last decade rebuilding from the ground up, including using a metal lathe to build parts… and get a minivan instead
I got tired of the phone calls and moved 1000 miles away, f*ck this sh*t.
My first wife and I always fought because I wasn’t “living up to my potential.” Now, some backstory: We met in high school, where I was a national merit scholar, a 4.0 student, and in a number of honors classes and programs (the physics club, the math club, the academic decathlon, etc). During my senior year, I secured senatorial sponsorship to West Point Academy.
I got her pregnant (which, I freely admit, was my dumb mistake) our senior year in high school. She had no intention of exploring any option other than having the baby, so I didn’t go to college, and instead entered the working world as a husband and father at 19, working two jobs (Bennigan’s line cook and newspaper delivery at night) to make ends meet while she did no work and continued to go to college while her parents watched our baby.
This was the time when she constantly was down on me for failing to live up to my potential. heh. As if any 19-year-old with no college education, a new baby, and paying someone else’s college tuition is going to be doing awesomely in life.
In the years since we’ve split up, I’ve managed to: Run a successful martial arts studio, be involved in several moderately successful local Celtic bands, make computer programming my career (I currently am Head of Software Development at a mid-sized company), publish a reasonably successful novel, maintain a website that helps about 2 million Celtic musicians a year, and create my own line of tin whistles which I sold successfully for a couple of years…oh yeah, and earn 3 patents, which made me a ton of cash during the dot-com boom 🙂
In your face, b*tch.
I got dumped because she was scared that she could so easily see herself spending the rest of her life with me, and she wasn’t ready for that. Even though the relationship was still in a casual, fun phase. She left me with a Happy Ending quote, saying “Hopefully this is just the sad chapter of our epic love story” and that “when she’s ready she really hopes I’ll be able to take her back!”
He dumped me because I wasn’t “white enough”. I found this out from a close friend of his after he suddenly ghosted me.
Apparently, he was secretly a snowh*e and would s*mp out for white people because he was obsessed with them and how “cool” Americans are. I’m half Caucasian and also happen to be American so that part seemed exotic and attractive to him, but apparently, I needed to have blonde hair, blue eyes, a small button nose, and lighter skin and that my dark brown hair, hazel eyes, prominent nose and already pale olive toned skin just didn’t cut it in the long run.
I was distraught hearing this because I was more than willing to improve myself to stay with him when I was trying to figure out why he gave me the cold shoulder. But the race part is something I really can’t change. I felt so broken by how he only dated me for a year because he f*tishized me, not because he actually liked me for who I was.
Also, I checked his social media and apparently, he lives in the U.S. now and is dating a white girl. The joke’s on him because I’m also currently dating a white girl who is 5x hotter than his girlfriend AND I actually love her for being herself, not because she’s white. 😉
She ran away on the day after Christmas. Once she got to where she was going, she told me she was never coming back, and that she wanted me to bring her all of her things and numerous pets and run away with her. This included a request to go into her parents’ bedroom to get her passport and birth certificate, without telling them, when I refused and told her that I wouldn’t disrespect her parents like that after how good they treated me, she went on to say that I was on her “abusive” parents side, and said, “you just want them to be a happy little family don’t you?”.
Well yeah, I’d rather not estrange myself from your parents who never showed me anything but support, and that they were good people.
Two months later, she ended up getting ditched and robbed in Cuba by the woman who helped her run away. And who did she cry and run back to? That’s right, her “awful” “out to get her” parents.
One big lesson I learned from that, is you never know who isn’t a closeted schizophrenic who isn’t taking their medication.
Gather ’round boys and girls for this is how NixxieKnocks got dumped once.
We were living together for around 3 years or so at this point. ‘Twas Easter Sunday.
Him: I’m leaving you.
Me: What? Why?
Him: I’ve met somebody else, and she’s the one I was meant to be with.
Me: Oh… okay… Is it “J” ( a female friend of his, she was awesome).
Him: No. Her name is Feria.
Me: Like the hair color?
Him: pissy face Grumbles something.
Me: Wait, we’re together almost all the time. Where did you meet her?
Him: She lives with me.
Me: confused look around Where….? In the closet? Under the bed? (For the record I thought he was kidding at this point.)
Him:..In my head
Me: In your… head?
Him: In the temple in my head.
Me: In your… head? (F*cks sake, you try and process this.)
Him: She’s my soul mate NixxieKnocks, I’m sorry.
Me: In… your… head…?
Him:…yes
Me: You are cheating on me with a voice in your head.
Him: She’s in the temple in my head.
Me: You are leaving me for a voice in your head.
Him: …
Me: I just kind of burst out laughing at this point.
Prolonged usage of drugs kids, that’s bad. Very bad.
Last I talked to him, they had gotten married and had some brain babies. So, I guess good for them?
“You’re a great boyfriend, you have exceeded my expectations in every category. This has nothing to do with you, but I really feel like God is leading me to break it off. I don’t know why…I just don’t feel the same way I did about you when we first started dating”
…seriously.
Sucks because I still love her. A lot.
My GF of about 6 months had an ex she had dated for years before she broke up with him for me. I’ll call her Ex Steve. My GF informed me that Steve had a new GF and she was really pretty.
I ran into Steve and his new GF at a bar and saw that she was indeed, very pretty. I texted my GF “Hey I saw Steve and his new GF tonight. You were right, she is pretty.”
Insta-dumped. She legit never spoke to me again even though we were in law school together and had classes together our entire 3L year.