Infidelity is a difficult topic to talk about, but it’s one that many people experience. If you’ve been cheated on, you know how devastating it can be. You may feel betrayed, angry, and hurt. You may not know what to do or how to move forward. But in this post, we’ll hear from people who have been through infidelity and share their stories of how they dealt with it. We’ll learn about the different ways that people coped with infidelity, the challenges they faced, and how they ultimately found healing.
I was 8 months pregnant with our second child at the time and he wanted to go visit his brother for the weekend. I asked my doctor if it was safe for me to travel and she said it would be fine. I told my husband I could go but he said he was really hoping to just have some time with his brother, I understood because a new baby really makes it hard to spend quality time but I asked if he could take our older son (3yo at the time) so he could see his grandma and cousins. He said they were planning on drinking and whatnot and wasn’t sure it would be a good idea. (They’re country boys so think shooting, drinking and whatnot) I agreed and he left for the weekend. After he left I get a call from his best friend telling me that he’ll be in town for the weekend and he wanted to meet up, not weird he called me because my husband was terrible at answering his phone. I told him unfortunately my husband was visiting back home, bad timing. His best friend then said ok, I’m going to call you back. And hung up very abruptly. Turns out my husband and his wife had been caught by him a few months previously and he gave them a chance to make it right…I don’t know why. He didn’t tell me but threatened to if they didn’t stop. Well, they didn’t stop and he told me. I think the worst part was that my husband’s family knew and never once thought to tell me. These people were my family for 5 years and nothing. It’s been almost 10 years now and I’m so much happier but it was definitely an eye-opening experience.
June 1, 2018. Normal day. A Friday. My husband had kissed me goodbye and gone to work. I was cleaning the house for a company that was coming to stay for the weekend. The doorbell rang. There was a man at my door who introduced himself as the husband of a woman who my husband worked with. He was there to tell me that my husband and his wife were having an affair. He had busted them about six months prior and had told his wife that she had to end the affair. He thinks that she did end it…for about three months, but then they started up again. When he found out they were at it again, he called my husband (because he knew if he confronted him in person, he’d be in a jail cell for what he’d done). On the phone, he told my husband to leave his wife alone or else he would come and tell me everything that was happening. Apparently, my husband thought that he was bluffing.
So I was literally the last to know. My husband never came home again. He got an Airbnb and a lawyer. The divorce was on December 21, 2018. We had been together for 24 years. Still hurts.
Out of the blue while at work, I get an email that says (husband’s name) ‘s wife.
When I open the email it lists off a name and says (husband’s name) married to her. Check on Facebook
(English was not the first language, this was overseas)
So I do and what do I see? Tons and tons and tons and tons of pictures of a woman with my husband. The woman and her kids with my husband. The woman and her family with my husband.
I was stunned, to say the least. It was October 6th 2017, 7 months after I almost died from an ectopic pregnancy. Yep, we were trying at that point to have kids.
After work, I went home and started throwing all of his stuff in the dumpster. He was out of town at the time so I had plenty of time to do it. Spent all of Saturday and Sunday throwing EVERYTHING he owned in the dumpster.
A month later I moved to a new apartment and waited until then to tell him I was divorcing him.
4yrs ago I was dating a girl who became distant and disinterested in a lot of things we both enjoyed together. Despite attempts to talk about it, she only grew more distant then became less available to hang out and suddenly was working late a lot. I started getting suspicious about cheating when she was on her phone nonstop. Again I tried to talk about it but she wouldn’t engage. She also just didn’t want to break up with me for whatever reason.
I was actually going to end it on my own, but one weekend when she was seemingly unavailable, some mutual friends told me they spotted her with a dude from her work and they were all over each other. Coincidentally, she had also lent me her iPad and it was synced to her phone so I saw lots of texts between those two over that weekend. They were talking about running away together, etc.
He was married and her supervisor. Mutual friends were also composed of her coworkers and reported them to HR. They were both forced to do training on not sleeping with coworkers, they were both denied promotion, his wife left him, and she moved overseas.
Sucked at the time, I was devastated, but karma got them good.
A friend of mine was suspicious of her husband cheating, as he went to “play soccer with friends” way too often. He always came already showered as he would sweat playing. One day she sewed his soccer socks together, and when he came back all showered she saw the socks were still sewed, so he wasn’t playing soccer at all.
The story is remarkable in that it happened before the internet was widely available, in the very early 90s, when the world seemed much bigger.
My fiancé (Meg) had one semester left of college that had to be taken as an internship abroad for her major. She chose to go to Belgium for this internship. I stayed back & the plan was that I would set up a house & when she returned that summer, she would move directly in & we would set a date for our wedding. So, while Meg was off in Europe, calling every couple of weeks to check in, (the long distance was super expensive back then) and sending me postcards & letters, I moved into a brownstone, bought furniture, etc…
About two weeks before Meg was supposed to return, I stopped into a nearby coffee house that I had noticed down the block but had yet to visit. To my surprise, I found that my neighbor from growing up in a completely different city, Claire, was a waitress there. We hadn’t seen each other since high school, so we made a plan to meet up after her shift for a cup of coffee to catch up. We met & Claire told me that she was engaged as well, to a man, Ben, who was completing his course of study by working on an internship in…you guessed it, Belgium. I couldn’t believe the coincidence, & told her about my fiancé, & that they HAD to know each other. Crazy, right?
A couple of days later, I stopped in for a cup of coffee & Claire looked extremely upset. She asked if I had time to wait, as she had a break coming up, & and she needed to talk to me. We went outside & she told me that she had gotten a call from her Aunt Sue the day before. Aunt Sue had just returned from Czechoslovakia, & that something very strange had happened. While they were touring Prague, Sue & her travel group had stayed in a local hotel & the next morning she had run into Claire’s fiancé, Ben, in the lobby…with a female companion by the name of Meg. She said that he introduced her as a student from America and that they worked together, but it was very awkward & they both looked scared sh*tless.
Claire said that she immediately called long distance to Belgium, & after several tries over the course of a day or so, got him on the phone. She asked him about the chance encounter & he said he had been kind of expecting her call, & ended up admitting that he had been seeing Meg pretty much the entire time they were in Europe, spending weekends & holidays traveling around with each other. I was floored. Couldn’t believe it.
I went home & started trying to call Meg at her dorm in Belgium, finally getting through to her late into the night, early morning for her. I point blankly asked her if she was dating Ben. I didn’t even explain how I knew about it. She hemmed & hawed for a moment, kind of acting like I was crazy for saying something so nonsensical, but when I said that I knew Claire, she dropped the facade & admitted to all of it.
So Ben & Meg had a very bittersweet homecoming. Meg got off much easier than Ben, as Claire had already left all of his belongings on the front lawn, from the day she found out, which had been pretty picked over by the time he got back two weeks later. I did pick Meg up from the airport, I think at the time I really just wanted to see her face when I told her that all of our friends knew what a piece of sh*t she was, & that I never wanted to see her again.
To this day I revel in how many utterly astounding factors of complete random coincidence went into Meg & Ben (who later married, then later divorced after he cheated on her) being caught. The universe works in incredible & mysterious ways.
It wasn’t a big dam-breaking moment. It was a lot of little things. Like how she’d cancel plans at the last second. Or the random phone calls from unknown numbers she’d get (this was back before spam calls were an epidemic), or how her phone was mysteriously off one night when I needed to get a hold of her.
I had my suspicions and then finally it clicked into place when I did some Instagram snooping and found a guy who followed her who posted a selfie wearing a very unique jacket that belonged to her.
I confronted her the next day. She denied it. Tears. Begging. All of that. I dumped her and walked away. The next day I messaged that guy on Instagram and he confirmed everything. Had no idea I existed. He dumped her too.
Last I heard she’s an EMT in Wyoming. Hope she figured out how not to be a garbage person.
We got married when I was 17, and he was 21. He was shipping off to sea, and I was escaping a bad home life.
When he came back after his deployment, he wasn’t the same person anymore. After about 6 months, he gained weight on purpose to fail his physicals so he’d get kicked out of the Navy.
Fast forward a year, I’m working full time, and he is sitting at home, watching anime and drinking during the day, and telling me that he “was applying to jobs”.
I was applying to universities when my laptop died on me. I asked to use his to finish an app, and while doing so a message popped up on his FB.
A topless pic of his ex, from her. I was shocked and opened it to find that they’d been dating for a loooong time (started again while he was at sea in the Navy, he would talk to her and never to me, saying that he never got the time to email).
I confronted him, he made a bunch of pitiful excuses. I had my friends come to the house that day and kick him out while I went to work.
He then stalked me for the next few years and made posts on his FB about how I was a coward, he sent emails and called from blocked numbers to tell me that “a restraining order is just a piece of paper” or that ‘our vows before God made me his property’ and sh*t like that.
Then he bought a gun, and started telling our friends that “if he can’t have me no one can”.
I ended up talking to our friends, and told everyone conflicting information about where I was going, and moved states. I deleted all my personal social media accounts and lived in fear for years, watching him continually make memes about how he loved his wife and would do anything for her.
It took 8 years for me to finally get a divorce from him.
I owned a house with my fiancé. I woke up in the middle of the night and he wasn’t in bed. I went searching. His truck and another vehicle were in the driveway. Then, I went upstairs and found the guest bedroom was locked. After barging my way in… I found him with another woman in bed. That bed happened to be my childhood bed. He forced me out of the room… literally grabbed me and pushed me out and closed the door back. I knew I couldn’t do anything at that point, so I called his parents who lived a few blocks away. His dad showed up and another fight broke out. I ended up leaving and staying with his parents until dawn. I moved out that weekend and let the house foreclose. 9 years later, it’s finally off my credit report, I’m happily married to an amazing man and we own a beautiful home together.
The husband of one of the women he was cheating on me with called me at work. At first, I didn’t believe him and hung up. How could the man I spent the past 8 years with, had 2 beautiful babies with, and suffered together the loss of one of those children do something so hurtful?? Still, a part of me had doubts. He had affairs in other relationships and we had a rocky patch early in the beginning where I suspected an affair but didn’t have proof. I told my boss I felt sick and had to leave early and I called this guy back and found out that my ex and his wife along with one of their friends were all sleeping together for about a year. He had confronted my ex and told him that he was going to tell me but my ex convinced him to wait a month since my mother had just died. I took my time coming home and confronted him and told him to pack and leave. Since I’ve pieced together a lot of what happened and all the lies he told me where if I was in a different headspace I might have caught on to the affairs earlier. I also found videos hidden on one of our computers and found out he was having booty calls in our apartment while I was at work and he was watching our daughter. At that point, it put the headstone on any possibility of reconciliation.
I had my suspicions but it was her who ended up telling me. I went into the relationship thinking “Wow, I don’t deserve this girl, way out of my league.” She couldn’t help but remind me how much better he was several times and made sure to rub it in my face. My reaction was a spiral into a deep depression. For someone that has very low self-esteem being cheated on is one of the worst feelings. It feels like it confirms all your worst thoughts about yourself.
I caught my ex-husband cheating in an accident, we had gone to work in the evening and I couldn’t get into my office due to a building screw-up, so he let me in his so I could print something.
He went for a walk to get his “steps” in. As I was on his computer I realised it was logged in to Facebook. I just had a feeling.
I looked in the messages and he had been chatting with a woman he met in another country via our work.
I copied all I could and confronted him when he returned, made him take me for a drink and told him there would be no reconciliation. He was shell-shocked and I told him to go home and pack a bag. That was 6 months ago and I’m really happy to have lost the dead weight.
He was a difficult man, emotionally abusive, but I lived my vows and tried to help him as much as I could and reorganized my life around him.
I found out at the ultrasound to determine the gender of our child. He was late and I was noodling on Facebook waiting to be called.
He was tagged in some photos in my news feed from a gig he’d been at the previous weekend. A random lass was in all the photos of him and they were all over each other. Also, they were making out in the background of one photo.
He turned up after I was called in. While the technician was printing the images I told him I knew. He went off and on about how I was making it up, he’d never do that, obviously, I was lying to compensate for cheating on him and so on. When I pointed out there were photos he stormed out and left me there.
My Dad had turned up during the appointment (anticipating that he’d react badly if we were having a girl, which he did, that was scattered through the cheating denials) and took me home.
I considered us broken up at that point and stopped all contact except texts related to the pregnancy.
Mostly I was relieved. I had concrete evidence that it wasn’t in my head and I finally managed to escape that relationship.
Back then Facebook used to display on your profile stuff like “dontsayaword2 liked a photo” and everything you did. I noticed he liked a photo of a girl that seemed to be someone he had recently added. So I checked her profile and she was one of those girls who think “they won” because men cheat on their partners with them. She had everything public, photos with him, bragging about the texts they exchanged etc.
So I engineered a way to befriend her roommate, I would then find out she was bringing other dudes home besides my boyfriend and when I confronted him I also let him know about who else she was sleeping with and for him to get an STD test.
Ex-wife actually asked me for her blessing to commit adultery with another married man. She was shocked when I said I don’t support it, she went ballistic (has severe mental health issues), went and did it anyway and ended up in a psych ward. 2 marriages ended and now the two cheaters are engaged.
I had my suspicions. He was supposed to go out of town and he came home early Packed his bag and ran out the door. Barely saying goodbye to me or our children. We lived on the fifth floor of an apartment building I looked out the window and saw him get into the car of a woman I could tell because she had a sunroof and I could see down into the car. The look on the guard’s face was priceless.
Later I got a phone call from a woman who was very upset. She said she was his fiance. She said she worked for the airline and found that he was traveling with another woman. The other woman was the woman in the car.
Later following my suspicions I found a receipt in his briefcase. It was for in a very expensive store. I went to the store with my two children one was a toddler at the other was still in a stroller. I made up some stories about why I needed to know what was purchased. Purchases were quite expensive. I was not allowed to buy clothing for myself. Keep in mind this is in an Asian country (we were expats there) and this was a very high-end store so they kept handwritten records in a notebook. They looked up the receipt and said “Oh yes Mr. Z, he was here with his Thai wife”. She looked up at me, waited a few beats, and then her face just fell and she said I’m so sorry. I said it’s okay I just thought he was here with his Singaporean girlfriend.
The woman at the airline I believe has two children with him. The Singaporean woman went on to have two children with him. And the Thai woman had one child with him. All are younger than our two children.
Oh and then I was walking through a hotel and I caught him having breakfast with the woman he went on the trip with. And then another time I saw them drive past me in his car.
I also found a trust document that, by the way, was totally fake that he wrote for the Singaporean woman putting her in the family trust.
Keep in mind I hadn’t lived in the States for 10 years. I didn’t have a driver’s license. I didn’t have bad credit I had no credit. I had no money. I couldn’t go back to my job because technology has significantly changed. I had an 18-month-old and a three-year-old. As all this was going on I was planning to somehow leave. Eventually, I packed bags hid them away and try to figure out how to get back to the States. I didn’t have access to money or a credit card. He had the bright idea one day that I needed to go visit my parents. He bought me a one-way ticket I figured he was never going to let me come back. That was fine with me.
He married the Singaporean woman cheating on her the whole time. I know for a fact he was engaged to someone else for 4 years while they were married. After scamming that woman out of hundreds of thousands of dollars. He basically dumped her. He moved to a different country and now he is married again with two children having never divorced the Singaporean woman. In actuality, I don’t believe they were truly legally married because he married her before we were divorced. By the way, it took me seven years to divorce him.
The most awkward dinner I ever had was when our oldest graduated from graduate school. He came back to the States with the woman he was engaged to for 4 years while married to the woman he was married to while still married to me. Are you following this? Anyway, she was a very high government official. Very bright woman. I liked her very much. On the way to the dinner, my daughter explained to her friend who was accompanying us “So we’re going to dinner with my dad who cheated on my mom with the woman we are trying to keep secret from his girlfriend who were having dinner with”.
I didn’t catch her, she told me and told me I wasn’t a real man and that’s why she did it. She just told me everything she hated about me, went on to why I’m worthless pulled over, kicked me out of the car and I had to walk back to my place.
As far as my reaction went. I went home, cried, went to bed, stayed in bed for a few days, thought I was a terrible person for a few weeks, cut my holiday leave short and went back to work early to get my mind off things.
This was a while ago now and I’m definitely in a much better place in my life.
Classic love at first sight. I love you after 2 weeks. Moved in together after 2 months. Engaged after 6. Been together for 4 years and have changed. Left my rent-control bachelor pad and Picked a bigger apartment so she could have her art studio. Did everything together and split all bills 50/50. We had different jobs in the same industry and made around the same money. We really loved each other and, as cliche as it sounds, complete each other: I am very analytical and stoic and she is a liberal artist.
She goes to ComiCon in NYC (she is an expositor) I help her pack. I drop her at the airport. Everything was fine. No signs of anything. She should be back in 4 days.
She never came back home. She simply disappeared. Ghosted. The day she should be home I freak out that she may be dead just to find myself blocked on everything: email, phone, social media, the works.
Everything I know is due to the bills she left behind (all unpaid) the credit card we shared (she stopped paying 2 months before) and her cell phone bill (which T-Mobile was nice enough to give me a log because technically was on my SSN). Found one particular NYC area code over and over on the call history and put 2+2 together. She met him at San Diego ComiCon a few months before and methodically and systematically put together a plan to abandon me, take as much as she could to NYC and never look back.
Plot twist: she maxed out our credit card and Amazon card furnishing their new home in NYC. By the time grief turned into practicality, it was too late for me to cancel everything. I literally had to log in and see all purchases of houseware, made with my money, for a house I will never live in.
I could not live at our house or afford our lifestyle on one income alone. It was a good 6 months of Blackout drunk, tinder and overall self-loath. I am sure I caused damage to other people in the process. It wasn’t even the love part that hurt me the most but the flat-out betrayal and economic damage (took me over a year of living paycheck to paycheck to get all balances to zero).
My ex was a big drinker and I wasn’t. She would frequent this bar close to our place pretty often with friends. I rarely went because I just wasn’t a fan of bars or her drinking friends. One night she went out with a couple that I didn’t mind that much. I was bored at home so I decided to head over for a little bit. As I walk in I see my ex sitting at the bar with the couple. The bar was packed and as soon as I made eye contact with my ex she had this strange look on her face. She turns to this guy sitting next to her, and he immediately gets up and leaves.
I felt something strange right away, but I brushed it off as me being irrational. I stayed for like an hour and headed home. I couldn’t shake the feeling I had though so I checked one of her friend’s Facebook page to see if there was any connection that existed between my ex and this random dude. Sure enough, he was friends with one of my ex’s friends.
I knew his name now and that I wasn’t as crazy as I thought. I sat on the information though. The next weekend she goes out drinking again and still had not returned home at 4 am. I tried contacting her multiple times and I got no response. I woke up to her coming home at 7 am and jumping in the shower immediately. I decided to check her phone while she was in the shower, and she kept all of the messages with this same guy. Some pretty telling information in the text thread. While she was still showering I grabbed a fresh pair of clothes and headed to my best friend’s house. 20 minutes later I get a phone call with her going ape sh*t about me leaving and not saying anything. I laughed at the projection and told her that if she wasn’t moved out by Monday the police would be there to force her out. She wasn’t on the lease and her parents lived 10 minutes away from me. That was that.
I was working two jobs for 18 to 20 hrs a day, nearly 7 days a week. She started to seem very distant, despite the fact that she would never put in any effort to work or be helpful to the marriage. She started becoming glue to her phone.
I check our phone records and sure enough, there was one number that stood out. When I asked to see her phone, she gave it to me thinking I was going to FB. When I went to open the messages app, she grabbed the phone and ran.
I had a backup phone and since our phones use SIM cards, I went to ATT and got a new one for her line. Well all her accounts were linked to that number, so after digging around I found Tinder, POF, Nude Snapchat, and hidden messages on FB. You name the dating app, she had a profile.
It turned out that she had been lying about me for years to all her friends and family. Saying all kinds of negative things. I just felt utterly betrayed. We actually reconciled, but I didn’t trust her to say the least. So I installed a keystroke logger on her phone and months later she was back at it.
I miss my kids so much but I’m financially, emotionally, and physically better. I got sober and clean and have gotten my depression under control. It was honestly the best thing that ever happened.
My mom had a boyfriend when my parents met, and she broke up with him to be with my dad. Fast forward ten years or so my parents are married with two kids: my older brother and me.
Anyway, she travels for work semi-often and she started taking trips to see her “friend” in Chicago. I was young enough that I don’t really remember when it started, but my I noticed that my dad was really irritable on these weekends. I think I was about twelve when I realized what was going on. I figured it out before my brother did. I used to sit at the top of the stairs and listen to my parents argue. I don’t even remember if I heard something that gave it away, if it slowly dawned on me as I grew up, or if one day it just hit me. It’s always just been a part of my life that my mom lies. Still is.
My dad used to beg me to not say anything to her that I knew because A) he was desperate to keep the family together and 2) my mom would get on his case for getting the kids involved. No joke.
One day, during the summer after I graduated high school, I came home from work to find my mom in the garage loading up her car. I asked her why she was putting blankets in her car and she got quiet for a moment and said “Well… I’m moving out.” I just went inside.
Later she texted my dad that she had moved to her brother’s house. That’s how he found out. They were married for twenty years and she sent him a f*cking text message. I don’t know if she was planning on telling me at all if I hadn’t happened to come home when I did, or if she would have just disappeared. There have been times when she left without telling me she was going somewhere. I’d realize that I hadn’t seen my mother in a few days and ask my dad where she was and he’d be like “Oh, she didn’t tell you? She’s in ‘Montreal’ for a week.” Or something like that. So anything is possible.
The wife was acting unusual for a few weeks. She would want to spend time by herself on the weekends and when she came home at night from work she would often sit in the driveway for 20 minutes on the phone.
I’m not dumb.
I bought a voice-activated digital recorder and stuck it in her car. I knew what I needed to know in less than 24 hours.
Visited my long-distance bf over spring break in Nebraska since he was stationed there. Before knowing anything, I ended up meeting and having lunch with the girl he was cheating on me with (I sat next to her and he sat across from us) and his coworkers/friends and hung out with the same group twice more. I could tell she didn’t like me but I brushed it off since I was there for my ex and could care less about her feelings toward me. Later in the week, I asked if I could send a text from his phone to one of our mutual good friends and saw walls of texts from her giving him an ultimatum to end our relationship. My ex and this girl had also been texting throughout the week where he’d called her the same pet names he called me and he’d call her the most beautiful woman after she’d send him her outfits/selfies all while being in the same bed/room with me.
He ended up ending their relationship and we decided to work on ours. I flew back home, he continued seeing her and gaslit me every time we FaceTimed making me feel like I cheated on him, and after 2 weeks of indecisive battling on the status of our relationship, I broke up with him.
No one is worth the mental gymnastics that comes from being cheated on.
I found a picture on Facebook of him with a newborn baby, captioned by the other woman, “Handsome husband and cute baby, I’m so proud”. We’d been together for 9 years and our kids were 6 and 8.
We were ordering food and I was holding his phone and looking at the menu when he received a message that said “You make me so happy <3”
He tried to explain it away, but I knew. We ate, I kept trying to let it go, but I told him I needed to see the messages. He refused, I said he had to explain a lot better, and he explained that they had been talking about him breaking up with me. So we broke up that night. Lots of crying, holding each other, apologizing for things we had both done or not done.
The next morning I moved out, but not before I confirmed that he was cheating. I was only able to move a third of my things out, as it was pretty painful to pack the last 7 years of my life into bags, so I came back the next day I had off and got everything else.
Once I had all my belongings out, I sat him down and told him I knew he was cheating. He apologized for emotionally cheating on me and said he hadn’t considered it cheating at the time. But he’s not that dumb, and it wasn’t just emotional. He still wants me in his life, but I’d rather never see him again. I don’t blame him for the breakup, but I can’t condone how he went about it. He pushed me away, neglected me, ignored me, lied to me, and proved in so many ways that he had no respect for me.
I had told him I’d be at his place at noon to do laundry (in my machines). I get there, unlock the door, and the chain is latched. I called and texted several times before getting fed up. Guess he never realized that the chain was useless because all I had to do was slide it up to unhook it.
Walked into his dark apartment and saw a purple water bottle and her purse on the couch. I knew instantly what I was going to find in his bedroom. I’d had a feeling for months that something was going on and this was the proof I needed. I felt overwhelming relief. I started recording on my phone as I walked down the hall, opened the bedroom door, and flipped on the lights. They were snuggled together under my blanket, asleep. They woke up and she smiled at me like a cat that had caught the canary before covering her head with the blanket. He glared at me and rolled over.
I shut the lights off, grabbed my stuff, and went back to my car. The three of us worked together (they’re night shift) and I sent the video to everyone in our department before I left the parking lot.
He assumed I was too meek to retaliate so he had one heck of a surprise Monday afternoon when he strolled in to work.
I found out that day, from his mother, that I was not the first woman he’s done this to. It was actually so bad in his hometown, that he had been forced to move across the state to get away from the death threats and angry husbands. Would have been nice if she had warned me before it happened to me too.
My (27 at the time) boyfriend (26) had asked to borrow my car to go to the club where he worked for the evening. I let him with the condition that my car is home by 1:00 am as I had to drop my son(2) off at daycare in the morning and then head into work. I’m a school teacher.
He’s a no-show. I called him repeatedly. Nothing. This goes on till about 5:00 am. I call his work and talk to Valet since I’m friends with them and they mention he left about 3:00 am with a girl.
By that time, I am almost late for work so I call a cab, drop my son off and go to work.
My car is at my school. I am livid.
I eventually leave work and head over to his place. He doesn’t answer the door but I know he keeps his window unlocked and I open it and see him and this chick in bed.
I broke up with him and yelled at the girl, didn’t you realize he had a partner? There was a baby seat in the back of the car. He had lied to her about everything.
At the time he owed me a lot of money and wouldn’t pay me back. I called him once a week for almost a year on payday to get my money. Wouldn’t give me anything.
Following weekend, I’m at the club (wasn’t gonna let him stop me from having fun) with one of my best friends who happened to wear a long wallet chain. (This is back in the ’90s)
As we were dancing, the girl comes up and starts dancing near me trying to intimidate me. My friend starts twirling and repeatedly hits the girl with her chain. Apologizes in that fake way but the girl caught a clue and left the area.
About a year later, I was at a casino and he was working at the bar. I happened to be all dressed up. I sat there and stared at him. He wound up giving me a free drink and paid me back in full.
I was dating this guy in my early 20s. He was my second real relationship so I was still retry naive. He was still “best friends” with his ex and would talk to her on the phone every night at his night job. I would let him know how uncomfortable it made me, but he would turn it around and say I was being too jealous and needed to learn how to trust. We dated for 4 years, and we had several more incidents of him crossing boundaries and then telling me it was bc I didn’t trust him. Eventually, one night he took a shower and left his phone out. I went through it and found that he had bought his ex lingerie for Valentine’s Day one year after telling me he didn’t have any money for a stupid, commercialized holiday.
I confronted him, and he cried and apologized, we stayed together and tried to work it out. Eventually, I realized how much disdain I had for him. I had no love, respect, or any positive feelings for him whatsoever so one day I woke up, drank a beer, packed a bag, and told him I was leaving. The next year was total h*ll bc of the backlash from him and leaving, BUT it was great bc I was away from him.
I also met my husband 9mos after that, and he has been the best thing ever. I can’t believe I ever tolerated such behavior for so long when I could have been with someone like my husband all along. I’m so glad I left.
