Have you ever met someone who’s just plain rude? Well, this blog post is all about those times when regular folks like you and me decided to fight back in a clever way. These are accounts of people who didn’t let rudeness get the best of them. They turned the situation around and gave those rude folks a taste of what it feels like. From funny comebacks that left rude people speechless to situations where rude folks got exactly what they deserved, get ready to be entertained.
I was working as a manager in a big nightclub about a year ago. I don’t wear a uniform, but have a radio and run the security team. The venue has a great smoking section that looks out onto the street. One night the venue was packed so I did my usual roam making sure that there were no problems, however, it was too packed to walk through the smoking section, so I walked down the street instead, but could still very easily see into the smoking section.
One guy stares me down, then calls me over, and starts swearing at me for no reason and telling me that “pieces of sh*t like you could never even get into a venue like this”. He obviously had no idea I was the manager, however, I didn’t want to have security get into a fight inside with him. The guy kept telling me he would punch me out etc. and was clearly trying to look macho to impress someone. So I agreed and told him to come and meet me outside and he could even have a free swing. He puts his drink down, takes off his jacket and storms outside. Once he walked outside, I walked back inside and told security not to let him back in.
The look on his face when he realised I ran the place was priceless, and then the realisation that he couldn’t get back into the club was amazing. It was the easiest and most fun removal I have ever done.
I’m a manager at a grocery store, so I get awesomely rude customers on a daily. Every Wednesday is a senior discount day. You have to be 55-60 to qualify for the discount. Needless to say, Wednesdays are tense. Lots of seniors, and lots of other people who don’t want to deal with the seniors. I don’t generally mind the old folks. Most of them are pretty cool and have some interesting stories and cute jokes.
This Wednesday there was one particular customer who was being a huge pain from the moment she walked in. She was tall, blonde, in high heels, very made up, and dressed to the nines. She was probably late 30s to early 40s. She came storming up to customer service, “There are NO parking spots. This is ridiculous. I’m going to request to corporate that you expand your parking lot, since you don’t seem to have the initiative to request that yourself.” Off to a great start, lady. She comes storming back up about 45 minutes later. “I am in a HUGE hurry, and every line has someone in it. I need to check out here.” We had three lines open, and each one had ONE single customer. ONE. I say “No problem, but I’ll get you at a checkout. You have too many items to get here.” She has a HUGE hissy fit. “I don’t have time for this. Let’s GO.”
As I’m checking her out, it is constantly b*tching. “You only have one brand of makeup? That is ridiculous. I only wear MAC, but I was going to settle for Revlon, but you don’t even have that. Now I have to make a whole separate trip.” “Please don’t put my bread on top of my eggs, the eggs could roll over and crush the bread.” “Please bag my avocados separately; I need to use those for a face mask tonight. They need to be perfect, I have a photo session for work tomorrow. I’m in a magazine.” She was unbelievable. Finally, in the end, I had enough.
As she’s about to pay, I say, “Don’t forget today is senior discount day! You get 5% off!” She just stared at me. “What?” I smiled broadly. “Every Wednesday, senior citizens get 5% off their bill. I’ll go ahead and take it off. You are 55-60, right?” She is staring at me, debit card in hand, cheeks getting red. I lose my smile slowly and say “Oh, you don’t qualify? Sorry about that. Maybe next year! Thanks for your honesty.”
I haven’t seen her in the store since.
I work in a local theatre, and we have a lot of rude, awful women who are part of local ballet schools come through our venue who are the mothers of the dancers. Once this woman rang up wanting seats to an almost sold out ballet performance that had been on sale for 4 months the day before the show, and did nothing but abuse me for 5 minutes because she left buying them too late, whining about how she shouldn’t have to pay to for her kids, whined that we should get a bigger venue (it seats just under 500 -.-) then put me on hold while she rang 3 of her relatives to see if they wanted seats too. She was positively awful. The seats I was about to sell her were the only ones in the theatre left, and they were good seats. While I’m on hold the grandma of one of the ballerinas comes to the desk and asked if we have any seats left, as she’d been in hospital and couldn’t buy them earlier, but said she’d understand if we were booked out. I put the phone with the on-hold music down and sold this old lady the last seats for the show, and gave her an invite to our next year’s dance season for her grandaughter and herself, so she’d know exactly when all the important dates were coming. She thanked me over and over, and she’s now one of our regulars and brings her grandkids to our shows. 2 minutes after the old lady leaves the b*tch on the other end finally takes me off hold and says she wants the remaining seats that we have left, I tell her “Sorry we’ve just sold out while you had me on hold I’m afraid, better luck next year, anything else I can help you with?”. She was choking with rage on the other end of the phone, it was fantastic.
I used to work for the Department of Motor Vehicles and the one I worked at had pretty limited parking, surprise! I had left for lunch, came back and was having a hard time finding a place to park. I finally found a spot so I drove up to it and put my signal on showing that I was waiting for it. People, in my experience, usually respect this and continue on. Not this time.
Just as the car was backing out, after I had waited a few minutes, a car came from the opposite side of the lot, made eye contact with me and then shot right into the parking space. I was so mad because now I would be late after looking for a new spot. As I drove past the woman that had taken the spot, I just shook my head and she responded by shrugging her shoulders, smiling, mouthing the words, “Oh well” to me and then ran her finger from her eye down her cheek as if to mock me crying about it.
I continued into work, got in trouble for being late, but had actually forgotten about the incident until who’s number gets called to my station, but Miss Spot-Stealer herself! The look on her face was priceless!
Keep in mind that I’m not your average DMV worker, I understand that stuff happens and waive penalties all the time and treat my customers with respect because I believe that what goes around, comes around and I know how crappy it is to wait at the DMV all day! I’m usually so nice about getting penalties taken off of people’s accounts that I get in trouble for it at times.
So, I greet Spot-stealer as nicely as I would anyone else, in fact, it may have been nicer than I normally would be. She may have thought I didn’t recognize her. Her registration is FAR past due, with hundreds due in penalties. I let her tell me her whole sob story then finally tell her that she owes in full because she was aware of her due date. She argues it a little until, out of site from my manager, I mouth the words, “Oh well” and drag my finger from my eye to my cheek, mocking her tears. At that point, she puts her head down and proceeds to take out her card and pay the full amount because yes, we do take debit cards! 🙂
What goes around, comes around!
When I was working a sh*tty job in my younger days, a customer was upset that he had to wait in line like everyone else before being able to make his purchase.
He actually said, “Do you know who I am? I own hotels!”
To which I replied, “Well sir, I’m sorry, but this isn’t Monopoly, this is Krispy Kreme.”
He was not pleased.
I was sitting in my car making some photos with my new smartphone while using different settings. Then there was this woman who just stopped at a one-way street with only 1 lane. So she stands there for like 10 seconds doing nothing. And I thought this is very unusual…so I started to make a video. Another driver comes and honks. Shen then proceeds to reverse and hit the car of the other guy with her big BMW. 4 Guys jumped out of the BMW and start yelling at the guy.
You have to know in Germany always the one who hits another car from behind will be blamed if he cant prove that it wasn’t his fault. So we have a classic insurance fraud.
The poor guy at the back was really worried cause he knew he couldn’t prove it. I just sit there in my car and waited for the police. Then I go outside and the police started to get the stories…of course, they were 4 against one guy. I just stood there and listen to the woman complaining about how this idiot hit her from behind and her brand new car is now damaged.
After the police took the statement from both sides and even take my statement they said there is no chance that 2 vs 4 could prove that he didn’t do it.
2 of the guys at the BMW said they didn’t know the girl and were pedestrians who saw it. That would increase the credibility.
So they made all false statements to the police and exactly that’s the thing I wanted to happen. I then told the police “Oh wait there is just one thing” like Colombo style and said that i got a video of what happened. I showed them to the police and the women and the drivers just stand there with mouths open…you could not only see how she hits HIS car but also that the “Pedestrians” were with the women in the car.
The guy then hugs me and we became good friends. Turns out he lives near me and we spend the evening drinking and gaming.
Just the other day I was at a Chinese buffet and the three people in the booth next to me were questioning the waitress (she appeared to be Asian-Hispanic) about voting for the President and who she planned to vote for. She had trouble understanding them and communicating that she could not vote. They immediately began taunting her that she shouldn’t be here if she couldn’t vote, that she didn’t even know who the President of the United States is, and then took a picture and said they would post it on Facebook. I later found out the waitress was on a school visa and couldn’t vote but was unable to convey that to them. After the waitress walked off, one of the girls at the table (the one who took the pic) looked up and asked me where I worked because I looked familiar. When I replied to the local university in the social work department, she commented that she had recently been in my office to apply to our program, to which I replied Yes, I remember you and I’m also on the admissions committee [followed with a wink]. The color drained from her face and she knew she was screwed. Karma’s a b*tch.
I worked at a hotel several years ago and had to deal with insufferable pricks about a dozen times a day. (Hotel stories about Billy Mays watching granny porn, a person that threw hot coffee in my face, a person that spits on me, and a crazy lady that slapped me are in my comment history.)
The best/most evil revenge I ever got was on a guy that stayed with us four days a week for the entire five years I worked at the hotel. The big utility company in our area was having financial issues and he was the leader of the auditing team that was sent in to straighten it out. Anyway…I would interact with the guy at least a few times every day I worked, and he was ALWAYS very rude and condescending. As an example, one of his co-workers would ask me for a local restaurant recommendation and he would chime in with “Yeah, because minimum-wage workers are known for their taste in fine dining.” If someone asked me something personal, he would say something like “Ask him what life choices he made to be here plunging toilets and writing down my preferred wake-up call time. Maybe he can share his wisdom so we all avoid his fate.” Stuff like that. He was just a jack*ss to everyone on the hotel staff and was always very demanding.
Since I saw him every day, I noticed that he had developed a relationship with one of the younger women on his auditing team. I saw their romance blossom in the hotel. One day he had just finished delivering one of his delightfully sh*tty bon mots to me, and I was fuming. Then he screamed at one of my co-workers because she had a Filipino accent and he said he only wanted his room cleaned by “white Americans.” I vowed revenge.
His wife called in to speak to him later that night like she usually did, and I said “Oh, I think he’s sleeping in Ms. *****’s room tonight. One moment, please.” and then I connected his wife to her room. His wife must not have told him what I had said, because he didn’t try to get me fired.
They got a divorce. They didn’t have kids, but according to another guy on the auditing team, his wife got the house and custody of their dog. He stopped staying with us shortly after “the phone call.”
Saw a woman with her husband toss a squash into a cooler that they apparently didn’t want anymore. As they walked away, I picked up the squash and followed them. They left their cart for a moment so I put the squash into their cart and walked away.
She had a dumbfounded look on her face when she noticed it back in her cart (I put it in a very noticeable place) and proceeded to put it on a nearby shelf and they walked away.
I of course took it off the shelf and followed them again, doing a drive-by drop-off of the squash.
At this moment my girlfriend got fed up with my antics and made me stop. I would have done it until they gave up and bought the squash, or I was caught.
I’m very easily amused.
When I was 15/16 I worked at a local video rental place. It was privately owned and was bootleg as heck – pretty sure the owner used it as a front for something shady, but that’s neither here nor there. The boss was too cheap to pay more than one person per shift, so I had the slow Wed/Thurs night shifts all to myself. We were in this wicked rich, yuppy town (Concord MA) and 90% of our business consisted of local soccer moms bringing their kids in for a movie night. Most of these women were terrible people – overlords to their spoiled flock who would throw credit cards around without thinking twice and would condescend to everyone they deemed “beneath” them.
We had a very basic computer system at the time, and there was a built-in function that wouldn’t allow someone to rent another movie if they had over $10 of late fees on their account. The employees had the ability to overwrite this, at their discretion, or to lower the fees if they thought it appropriate. Anyway… One day this woman comes in with a bunch of kids, if I remember correctly it was 5-6 roughly 12-13-year-old boys. The kids were running around, pulling things off the shelves, making lots of noise, punching each other, pissing off other customers, and pissing me off as well. The woman didn’t do sh*t about it, basically sat there gossiping on her cellphone not caring about the scene her kids were causing. Being a very timid person by nature I didn’t say anything, and just figured I’d clean up the mess when they left.
So the woman finally comes up to the counter with 8 different movies, a few video games and a bunch of candy. She’s standing there on the phone still, shoves the stuff at me across the counter and doesn’t even acknowledge my presence. So I look up her account… Boom. $120 worth of late fees and four titles rented for 6+ months and still not returned. So I tried getting her attention, saying something like “ma’am…ma’am?” while her back is turned. She gestures me off. So I stand there and do nothing. She finally hangs up a minute or so later, turns to me and says something snarky like “Well what’s taking so long??”
So I explain, “Ma’am you have a very outstanding fee on your account and I can’t let you rent any more movies until this is paid and the missing movies are returned”. She flips a sh*t. Starts ranting that her daughter rents things in her name, never returns things, doesn’t pay fees, and that she herself has done no wrong and the fees should be cleared and she should be able to rent etc etc. I nod but say, “This account still owes $120 and I can’t allow you to rent until it’s paid. Company policy ma’am, I’m sorry but I don’t make the rules.” She starts going off again, saying ridiculous things like “I know the owner he’ll wipe out the debt in a heartbeat you’d better let me rent or I’ll complain to him about how terrible his employees are” etc etc. I tell her he is out of the country (which was true) and can’t be reached, and she still owes $120. She b*tches some more and finally pulls out the card. We had this ancient machine that, for reasons unknown to me, would only read a magnetic strip correctly if you wrapped the card in a plastic grocery bag. I have no idea why but it was the only way it worked. So, as you can probably guess, I ran the card with no plastic wrap. Denied. Tried it again just for looks… Denied. I printed out a receipt and asked if she had cash. She didn’t, and she was ripsh*t about the card. I showed her the receipt saying “Card Not Accepted” and feigned indifference. She walked across the street to the bank… came back a few minutes later with the money and practically threw it at me. I took the payment…. and said “Now, about those overdue movies… I don’t suppose your daughter would like to return them for you so you can rent these movies?” I got the worst death glare I think I’ve ever received (and my mother can practically shoot lasers from her eyes) and the woman abandoned her stack of movies and stomped out. Not sure if we ever saw her again but at the time 15 year old me was so proud of myself for staying cool under pressure and f*cking with this woman.
I used to work for a major bank and while doing my stint there I came across a ton of a**holes. I was taking a deposit for a lady and her daughter and I heard them speaking a Middle Eastern language. At first, I wasn’t paying attention but when I realized they were speaking Farsi, I was all ears.
Reason: I speak Farsi.
They were talking about how much of a loser I was, how this job as a teller was the only thing I had in my life, that I probably didn’t have a girlfriend and didn’t attend school. Throughout this conversation I spoke only English to her and every time she responded to my requests she would smile and then say something nasty about me in Farsi.
At the end of the conversation, I switched up the language and said, “Just because I work at a Bank doesn’t give you the right to say things about me behind my back. I’m in grad school to become a Psycho Therapist and this job is for spending money. This isn’t how Persian people behave and you should be ashamed. Is there anything else I can help you with?”
Her daughter snaps left the building and her mother was beaten red, embarrassed, apologized profusely, and left. I never saw either of them again.
I was working as a shift leader in a Dunkin’ Donuts (spent two years in that h*llhole) and dealt with my fair share of rude a**holes. On one particularly memorable day, a group of ladies came in during our busiest hour, just past noon. The line was almost out the door and we were short staffed so it was pretty hectic. While they were ordering, one of them asked for a job application and started filling it out on the counter. She handed it back before they were done ordering and I stashed it on a shelf under the register and started making their food. They had a huge order and we did our best to get it out quickly, but it was obvious from the looks on their faces that we just weren’t quick enough for their liking.
They sat down to eat their food, and the girl who just turned in her application got back in line. I spotted her right away; she was standing with a glaring face, crossing her arms and tapping her foot, trying her best to look obviously (almost cartoonishly) pissed off. So I motioned for her to come up to the counter since I knew she had a complaint and I wanted to get it fixed right away. I assumed that in the shuffle we had messed up her sandwich or something like that; anyone who’s worked in fast food knows that these things happen when it’s chaotic. I asked her what was wrong, and she pointed to her BOTTLED Mountain Dew and barked (definitely not an “indoor voice”), “THIS IS FLAT!” It was a bit accusing, as though it were my fault that the bottle of soda she just opened was flat. So I took it and told her to get another one out of the cooler, then check it to make sure it was good. After all that, she asked for a refund. I said, as politely as I could, “Ma’am, I replaced your soda, sorry if there was an inconvenience but I don’t think a refund should be necessary.” [something like that, I don’t remember my exact words] So she stormed, pissed off, back to her table and started complaining loudly to her group about not getting a refund.
So, since I was having an awful day anyway and really could not see a b*tch like this ever working for us, I grabbed her application from the register, walked it over to the lobby trashcan nearest to her table, crumpled it up and threw it away as she watched. The look on her face was f*cking priceless.
Well, this was one of my favorites. Being a cop in a small town, I would get a few large parties (150+ kids) with a lot of kids coming from outlying areas. I”m generally pretty nice to the young adults who live in the area I police, and am generally well-liked. But to the kids who come from different towns to party, well, they obviously don’t know/like me. Anyhow, this one party, I pull up and start walking around, turning a little bit of a blind eye to underage drinking. I talk to the homeowner’s son (parents away), and just ask him to try and get rid of some people, and move the party indoors and close the windows, as there have been too many neighbor complaints. He says he’ll do what he can do. All nice and cordial..
Anyhow, this one punk standing there with a Lucky beer in his hand starts mouthing me off and bragging to his buddies. Just average sh*t like ‘Hey pig’, ‘eat any donuts yet?’ and just generally swearing and saying how I can’t do sh*t about what he’s saying, and that I can’t arrest him for dipp as he’s on private property. (dipp = drunk in a public place)
I don’t give him any satisfaction or acknowledgment. I have a thick skin, else I wouldn’t be a cop. But I had other calls to attend to, so left. No further complaints from the party, as the homeowner asked many people to leave.
A few hours later I’m driving back to the office (donut free), and pulling over a car for doing 15km/hr over the limit on the highway. Usually, I give cars at least 20km/hr on the highway before pulling them over, as well, that’s what I normally do on the highway. Wouldn’t be right to give people tickets for something I do all the time.
Well, it’s the dipsh*t driving who’d been mouthing me off. Amazing how nice he was to me at this point in time. Complete attitude change. I didn’t let him know that I remembered him from the party. (and I now had his name and vehicle plate so I could always look out for him in the future)
Long story short, he got tickets for speeding, only having one active headlight, failure to display an ‘N’ sign (new driver law here.. N on the rear of the vehicle lets other drivers know this person just got his license), having more than one non-family member passenger (another new driver law), and not wearing a seatbelt. As I remembered him drinking, I also demanded a roadside breathalyzer test. He wasn’t drunk but had some alcohol in his system. So I also give him a 24hr roadside prohibition from driving and towed his vehicle.
I slept well that night. Also, 3 months later after running his license on our system, the insurance company had prohibited him from driving for 3 months.
I work at a bar and for the past several weeks I’ve been dealing with a regular guy who just hits on me all the time in the sleaziest way possible (he even called me his girlfriend to a co-worker). I’ve told him countless times that I’m not interested and that I actually found his advances inappropriate and incredibly rude. Of course, this doesn’t stop him. Advance to today. I had the day off and decided that it would be fun to visit work and have a few free drinks while watching the election progress. So I brought my boyfriend to the bar and sit down on a stool and lo and behold this guy comes up. He ignores my boyfriend and puts his hands on the small of my back again. He looks at me and grins a sleazy smile. “Oh yeah, I knew you wanted it all along. You got nice hands baby” I had no idea what he was talking about since I wasn’t holding his hand. He then looks at his hands at my lower back and his face goes pale. He isn’t holding my hands but my boyfriend’s who snuck his hand to hold his and made this jerk think that I was holding his. My boyfriend then looks at the guy and starts talking in the most feminine voice. “You know it, baby! Now where’s this booth?” He then kissed the guy’s hand! The guy’s face. PRICELESS! He let go of my boyfriend’s hand and ran out of the bar. My co-worker was standing there looking at everything and started cracking up. It was the best.
A few months ago, I had driven to my parent’s house pretty late in the day. After leaving, I noticed a dog had been hit and was lying in the middle of the road. So I parked my car and put on the emergency lights, with my headlights clearly illuminating the dog. I put on a pair of gloves (I’m an EMT, I always have a box of gloves in my car, not only because it’s always a good idea to have a pair just in case, but because I often do this with animals that have been hit, out of respect) so I could move it to the side of the road, where it wouldn’t be hit anymore. However, I noticed that the car pulled into a house only a couple of houses down from my parents. Being blinded by a mixture of rage, shock, and disgust, I decided this dog needed a proper burial. It was about 1 in the morning by this point, so I went into my parent’s backyard and grabbed a shovel and a wheelbarrow. I lifted the dog’s body into the wheelbarrow, and wheeled it to the driver’s house, where I started to dig a 3-foot deep hole, and lowered the dog’s body inside and proceeded to bury it. I placed a large stone on top of the hole and left a note on the driver’s door. The note said “Hey, I’m sure you feel pretty bad about killing that dog last night, so I’m sure you won’t mind that I buried it in your front yard. It’s what she would have wanted.” It was about three in the morning when I finally finished everything, and I left home feeling nothing but defeat afterwards.
I was standing in line at a bank waiting to deposit my paycheck (this sentence just made me feel old) and this young woman came in talking loudly on her phone about how she was mad at her friend. The line was pretty long and I was two people from the front. She starts one by one b*tching to the person in front of her how little time she has and how much of a hurry she’s in. People get tired of her mouth and decide sooner or later to let her pass them. By the time she gets to me, I’m next in line and she looks at me and says, “You know I’m going next, right?” I looked her in the eyes and replied, “I don’t give two sh*ts what you think is about to happen. I’ve been waiting my turn and I’m not about to let some stuck-up sorry excuse of a b*tch cut in front of me because no one wants to tell you no. I’m not your friend and I’m not moving.” She got mad and hit me in the arm. A security guard saw that and pulled her from the line and threw her out. On my way out he whispered to me, “f*ck that b*tch.” ’twas a good day.
I was sitting in a movie theater, when I was asked to save two seats in the middle of my row (I was sitting at the end). The people asking were elderly and needed to go to the bathroom, so I thought it was of some kind of importance. The whole row was filled up too, so I figured it’d be easy to save.
I sat there for a while when a busty lady made her way up the row and stopped right next to me, at which point she looks at me and says “Can you move.”
I smile with all the awkward tension of any man around giant bazongas and say “Sorry, I believe those are being saved.”
Then the lady does something unbelievable, she sort of tries to jam her way past my legs in a mad attempt to get to the seat. Her boyfriend was just standing there.
I look at her, flabbergasted, and simply say “Those seats are saved.”
And then I sh*t you not. She snapped her fingers in my face, and said “WATCH ME WALK”.
At that point, everyone in the theatre was watching, and I was having none of this. My face went from an awkward “hide a boner” smile to a solid “try me b*tch” face. I could tell she was getting ready for another a**ault, so I slumped down in my chair and put my hands towards the seat in front of me (making a desperate attempt to block her) and she was forced to sort of run into my legs a few times.
I looked at her boyfriend, and he rolled his eyes and said “Come on, let’s go.”
So off went Busty St.Claire, in all her vivacious rage, roaring and raving all the way to the front of the theater.
The best part was after the whole episode was over and the elderly couple had returned, the people behind me asked me to save their seats because they thought “if anyone could handle it, it would be me”.
I used to work as a front desk agent at a boutique hotel. A guy who was obviously very full of himself came in with an online reservation that he had booked at a shockingly cheap nightly rate (around $40/night, we usually book rooms for around $160/night.) He proceeded to give me a hard time about EVERYTHING, from telling me he shouldn’t have to give me his credit card info since he had prepaid his reservation (we need it for incidental purposes like if he broke the tv and just left and things like that) to telling me “Uhm yea, I’m pretty sure I can find the elevators, I’m not stupid.” and just being an all-around d*uchehole. About 10 minutes after checking him in, he came down and demanded that we give him a bigger room with a king bed and a view, even though he had booked a standard queen bed online. I complied, as we had extra king beds available. Ten minutes later he came down again to complain about the size of the room. He told me, “I’m only going you one more chance to make me happy.” and asked for the general manager. After much arguing between him and my manager, we ended up giving him our nicest suite (two rooms, kitchenette, and a great view) AND free parking since we had “given him trouble.” (we’re located downtown in a big city so parking is not usually free) He got all this for $40/night! And get this, he informed us shortly after the ordeal while on his way out to dinner that he was not even going to be in the room for the majority of his stay, as he was visiting friends and would be staying at their home. What the heck! So I made it my personal mission to reset his room keys every time I saw him leave the hotel (which was quite frequently, 3-4 times a day/night) it was particularly funny when he came back tired from a night of drinking and had to come all the way down to the front desk to get his keys fixed. Needless to say, he was very frustrated by the end of his stay. I doubt he’ll be staying with us again.
I used to be the manager of a Haagen Dazs Ice Cream Shoppe. I loved that job, but every once in a while you got a terrible customer. One day, there was a customer being a huge douche. She asked for a milkshake with whipped cream. Our shakes were usually pretty thin unless you paid extra for a thick shake. Well, she said she wanted it to be thick this time, unlike the last few times when they were watery and gross. I told her sure, but that would be an extra dollar since we have to put in an extra scoop of ice cream. She said she wasn’t going to pay for extra thick, she just wants it thicker. I said the best I could do is put in less milk, to which she agreed. I finished blending the shake and poured it into the cup. She didn’t like the fact that it wasn’t filled to the brim, so she decided to berate me. Of course, it wasn’t filled to the brim; I put in less milk at your request. I told her putting on the whipped cream would fill it up. She let me put on the whipped cream, which did make it seem more full (if you put the whipped cream on properly, it causes the shake to rise on the sides). I started to hand it to her but she told me she wasn’t going to pay for that. She demanded I make a new one. I told her it’s going to come out the exact same so I won’t make her a new one unless she is willing to pay the extra dollar for an extra thick shake. Again, she continued to yell at me. I decided it was best to ignore her at that point. I said have a nice day and thank you for the milkshake. I then took a sip and said mhmm, delicious, then walked to the back room.
My father’s running partner’s story.
He was on a flight and sitting in business class, which is not as nice as first class, but only 3 times the price of an economy ticket, with a guy dressed in a flashy business suit sitting in the row in front of him.
The guy was incredibly rude.
“Waitress, bring me a coke.” “I said a coke, that means in a can. (without tasting it) This looks like Pepsi.” “Waitress, bring me something to drink.” “I don’t care what, but it better be good.”
You get the picture. Eventually, the guy takes off his shoes and falls asleep. My father’s running partner takes one of his shoes and hides it in his (my father’s running partner’s) backpack.
The plane lands, people start to get off and the rude guy is frantically looking for his shoe and shouting at himself.
My father’s running partner takes the shoe off the plane and just throws it away.
Later the rude guy would discover a note in his briefcase explaining that other people have feelings too.
As Japan was rebuilding and trying to contain Fukushima my friend’s girlfriend had shirts printed up as a fundraiser for Japan. I was at an import car meet and I asked a guy if he’d like to buy one and told him that the proceeds would go to the Red Cross for relief efforts in Japan.
He told me, “Why would I buy a shirt in support of Japan, remember Pearl Harbor?”
I replied, “Sure, that’s the way to look at it… let’s dwell on something that happened more than 60 years ago.”
He shakes his head and says, “Well f*ck ’em, that’s what they get.”
I ask him, “What kind of car do you drive.”
He replies, “A Honda…”
I remark, “F*cking hypocrite!”
His friends laughed at him and told him he was an idiot. Two of them even bought shirts from me.