In our everyday lives, we all have those inconsequential matters – the petty hills, if you will – that we’re surprisingly adamant about. Whether it’s the direction the toilet paper should hang, the proper way to load the dishwasher or the eternal struggle of ‘cats versus dogs,’ these seemingly trivial battles can turn even the most easygoing among us into fervent defenders of our stance.
You’re not the only person in the grocery store, lady! Move your cart to the side IN ANTICIPATION of others trying to get by. It’s not predicting the future, and you really need to work on your spatial awareness.
Improperly installed HID lights should be ticketed aggressively… blinding everyone on the road should be illegal.
Scrape your d*mn plate off before putting dishes into the dishwasher. I’m home from college right now living in a 5 person home, and my sister is the only person who understands this. Everyone else basically puts meals in the dishwasher, or they let things like cereal get stuck to the plates and cups which drives me crazy lol.
It’s a dishwasher, not a garbage can!
People get on subways or elevators before letting people off. Makes no sense. I say my piece every time I see it.
The “shopping cart corral” test is a solid assessment tool and can legitimately determine how decent of a person you truly are.
If you leave your shopping cart anywhere other than the shopping cart corral or in the spot they belong at the entrance of the store, you are a terrible human being. Exceptions are made for those who are unable to return them due to physical inability or other extenuating circumstances.
If you think you are so important or you are so busy or whatever other b*llsh*t excuse is a legitimate reason for leaving your cart in the middle of a parking lot then I will not date you. Return it where it belongs. It takes less than one to two minutes of your time. I don’t care if it is raining cats and dogs or if you have to traverse 3-foot-deep snow. Return the cart where it belongs. You are no better or more important than the next human being.
It honestly baffles me that stores have to employ people for the sole purpose of running around the parking lot collecting carts to return them where they should be in the first place because Karen was so anxious to get back in her minivan to drink her Starbucks that she left her cart in the middle of a parking spot.
If someone had their door closed when you entered their room, close it when you leave! I feel like there’s only one person in every household who understands that, and they’re the people who keep their doors closed.
Not sure if someone posted this, but YOUR BLINKER IS NOT AN OPTIONAL FEATURE ON YOUR CAR. IT IS THERE BECAUSE YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO USE IT TO SIGNAL TO OTHER DRIVERS WHERE YOU ARE GOING. F*ck off.
I will put ketchup AND mustard on hotdogs till the day I’m dead! I don’t care what you think about it, it is good for me, and that is enough!
I work in a national grocery chain known for its organic foods. My job just started implementing break logs for our 10-minute breaks. We don’t have to punch out for them and get 2 per day. Someone was caught taking longer breaks and instead of talking to said person like an adult we all have to keep a log of our breaks. I’m a grown-a** man and won’t sign the logs because I don’t believe in collective punishment.
People who get extremely disappointed when they discover the gender of their unborn child aren’t emotionally mature enough to raise a child.
That box of useless cables in my closet?
You know the one that has a bunch of old USB cables, RCA cables, even S-Video cables, and a sh*t load of AC adapters I can’t find the ends for?
Yeah, that box is mine, and I will NEVER throw it away. Even if it only comes in handy once a year, I’ll be d*mned if it doesn’t feel great feeling like a dang hero when your friend or family member needs one of those “useless” cables for something.
When not in use, the microwave is a clock. Stop leaving your unused time on there! You just have to hit the cancel button once, d*mn!
Monopoly is an inherently unbalanced and badly designed game. ON PURPOSE. Whoever starts winning will simply keep winning, and the rest of the players get a slow slog to bankruptcy. And the winner is usually the most ruthless person at the table. This is why it breaks friendships.
It was meant to show the unfairness of unregulated capitalism, and somehow it became an American classic. But compared to modern games, it’s terrible.
Just this weekend my husband and I got into an argument because he claimed I fell asleep watching YouTube on my phone at 3 am. I said I went to bed around 12. He’s a web developer with a penchant for systems so went to the home network. It showed no wifi traffic after 1 a.m. Showed him my YouTube history. The thing I was watching was 2 hours long and was paused at 45 minutes in. So…..he’s wrong, but here it is Wednesday. He’s still butt hurt about it and claims I’m gas-lighting him.
This is such a stupid argument.
Ghosts don’t exist.
There aren’t spirits of people who have died, wandering around in old buildings, mines, woods, wells, or anywhere. Anyone trying to convince you otherwise is trying to sell you something or is too trusting of a lie told to them.
I just refuse to believe that serving shrimp with the tails still on is acceptable in any way. Why on Earth would you serve me food that isn’t prepared to be eaten? Now I have to dig my hands through this Alfredo sauce and pasta to rip the tails off these shrimp?! Ridiculous!!
Brownies should never be frosted. I absolutely adore brownies. (Who doesn’t?) But the moment you put frosting on top you’re pretending it’s cake. Cake isn’t even close to as delicious. Why pretend?
There are a lot of people who confuse talent and skill.
I’m an artist. In my formative years, I spent indoors doodling instead of playing sports or doing whatever else it was kids did. In highschool, I took almost all of the art classes my school offered, and my high school’s art department was massive. I paid $60k to get an art degree and four years of my life honing my craft full-time. I spent a good chunk of my 20s being a professional artist, taking freelance design and animation jobs, and working for studios that produced all kinds of digital content. I have spent countless hours over my short lifetime pouring my blood, sweat, and tears into my art, and all anybody ever wants to say is that I’m “so talented!”
No.
No, I am not talented. I wasn’t born with this, I earned it through hard work. I am skilled.
The difference between those two words, and what they mean in terms of effort, is monumental. Don’t belittle my hard work. Say that I am skilled, or shut your mouth.
Don’t throw your thrice-d*mned cigarettes out the window. FFS, it’s bad enough that you smoke, but littering with a side of fire hazard? You bet your a** I honked at you! Do you want to flip me off? BRING IT. I will flip you off right back. I dream of the day I happen to be on the sidewalk when it happens. I will pick that mofo up and toss it right back through your window.
I’m so petty about this that I was waiting 4 cars back at a stoplight. The car next to me rolled their window down and asked if I would let them into the lane so they could make their right-hand turn. They said they were trying to get to a doctors appointment (they probably were, there were a lot of medical facilities on that block). I agreed to let them in. Then the chick threw her cigarette on the ground, and they started maneuvering their car to move over. I pulled my car up, and said I changed my mind, b/c she threw her cigarette out of the car. They missed their turn. That’s right. I am so petty about this that I will make you miss your turn to the doctors office over your smoker trash.
Email me once, and only if you really must call me + leave a message. Don’t repeatedly call and send text messages. Even when you are paying me for my time, then chances are I’m busy working on something else.
Wait for a reply. Unless it’s a genuine emergency, don’t keep trying to contact me. It will just delay how long it takes me to get back to you. Plus I’ll feel like you don’t respect my boundaries.
Nuclear power is the best middle step we can invest in to power us through building all the renewable energy. It provides great jobs, is exponentially cleaner than burning fossil fuels, and is safe when done properly.
It is the responsibility of every human on the planet to put the toilet lid down before they flush. Not the seat, the lid. It’s more hygienic, it looks better, it’s common courtesy.
I am a man.
God help the woman who tries to tell me we should put the seat down, but they don’t need to put the lid down.
And if there isn’t a lid, do whatever the h*ll you want.
The toilet paper needs to be put on the holder with the paper falling forward. People who don’t care about orientation are devoid of morals, and people who put it on backward are truly evil.
Spay or neuter your dog. I’m so tired of seeing emaciated dogs, dead dogs, miserable, unwanted dogs, and litters of puppies with no one to care for them. Those of us who rescue dogs are trying really hard, but we can’t keep up with the sheer numbers of dogs reproducing. Make it a priority to alter every single dog.
Smacking kids is bad parenting. It doesn’t work, it’s counterproductive, and it leads to worse outcomes.
There is always a better alternative. There is never a reason to hit a kid. Smacking is hitting.
If you were smacked as a kid and you think “It didn’t do me any harm,” you are wrong because it has turned you into the sort of person who thinks smacking kids is good parenting.
You don’t have to hit kids. Ever. Not once. Not a single time. For any reason.
Shaving your hair does not magically make it grow back thicker and/or darker.
Cheese Cake is not a cake. It’s a pie. It has a crust.
If I have a guest at my table, and they ask for their steak well done – they’re getting it well done.
F*ck any notion of the “right way to enjoy a steak”. How arrogant can you be that you think your self-conceived notion of “right” is more important than your guest’s enjoyment.
By that measure, if you want it medium, I will endeavour to make yours the most medium you’ve ever mediumed. And if you’re my father, I will “pull its horns out and wipe its bum”.
Green bell peppers are a f*cking scam and I will shout it until I am blue in the f*cking face.
Less nutritious than their colourful counterparts, significantly less delicious, quicker to grow and produce larger crops, and usually sell for the same price. There is zero upside to a green pepper that isn’t infinitely better in a, here’s the real kicker, mature pepper.
Sure there are specific green cultivars now, but they were originally just immature peppers that haven’t been left to ripen on the vine! We’ve b*stardized good, tasty peppers into monstrous, multiple-crop, garbage factories.
I am opposed to diet sodas and light beers. If you want a beer or if you want soda, then commit to a proper beer or a soda. If you’re on a diet then have water. No half-a**ing things.
You should never crawl into your bed with your “outside clothes” on. Nothing you’ve worn all day or out of the house should go in your bed. As well, once you get up for the day, you shouldn’t lie down on your bed under the covers unless you turning in for the night or are sick.
Printers aren’t hard. You’re dumb and or lazy and won’t take the 10 mins of your life to understand how a simple office machine works.
When my kids (7 and almost 4) finish their dinner, they have to stay seated until their mouths are empty and politely ask if they can leave the table. Seems obvious, but my partner was raised eating whenever they felt like it, standing over the countertop, so he thinks I’m overreacting.
When my kids forget to ask and just leave the table, I’ll make them come back and sit down for 5 minutes before asking again.
Breaking down boxes before putting them in the trash. My first job included stocking shelves and breaking boxes was something that was stressed at that job time and time again.
It has been ingrained in me now, so much so that I don’t care if it’s the box a tube of toothpaste came in, I want it broken down. My gf rolls her eyes when I pick up what she just put in the trash just so I can break it down myself.
Chiropractors are a sham. They don’t go to medical school and shouldn’t be cracking bones or calling themselves doctors.
People use the same utensil for peanut butter and jelly WITHOUT wiping it off first. I was already engaged to my wife when I found out her parents do this. I told her it was a deal breaker for me. The jelly crystallizes in the creamy peanut butter and totally ruins the jar.
We are married and have our first baby. She does use separate utensils, but I still remind her that we will raise our children the right way when it comes to this issue.
Being forced to hug relatives I haven’t seen since age 5 or strangers I haven’t met before is uncomfortable and weird and I don’t owe anyone my physical affection if I don’t want to give it, get your hands away from me right now.
The pineapple on pizza hate. I like pineapple on pizza and think that it’s dumb that hating is only common because it’s popular (unless you ACTUALLY hate it). Get your own opinions and stop jumping on bandwagons out of fear of scrutiny. I’m ready to get attacked for my tastes, but in my defense, there are much worse food combinations out there.
Squeeze the air out of a ziploc bag before you put the bag in the fridge or freezer. I don’t understand why my wife doesn’t and one of these days I’ll have a decision to make.
Macaroons are not macarons. One has coconut, and one is a sandwich cookie
Tall burgers completely nullify all the benefits of burgers and are an abomination of cuisine.
A good burger is the perfect portable food. It should be edible using only your hands and mouth, without cutlery, and without making too much mess.
You should also be able to sample every layer of ingredient in one bite, without dislocating your jaw.
The people ON the elevator EXIT FIRST; that means BEFORE the losers waiting FOR the elevator ENTER.
ALWAYS.
EVERY TIME.
NO EXCEPTIONS.
If I’m riding an elevator, and you try to get on before letting me off, I will make it awkward for everyone involved and I will have literally no shame. Is negative shame possible? I will have negative shame for making you feel awkward trying to block me from getting off the elevator.
You don’t EVER remind a person with dementia about the passing of their loved one.
It might hurt YOU to know that they don’t remember. Maybe YOU need the closure of grieving with your loved one who has dementia. But they will not remember that tomorrow. To remind them is to torture them.
Think about the first time you learned a loved one died. Think of the pain in that first moment. Every moment after that is slightly less painful. Nothing is like hearing it for it the first time.
Tell them once or twice, that’s it. Take that time to grieve together, you won’t get it ever again. They won’t remember it anyway. If they forget, dont fix it. If they ask where they are, you lie. Get creative. Do not put them through the shock and pain of hearing it for the first time.
I HATE those videos of “telling my grandma with dementia that grandpa is gone” when ‘grandpa’ has been gone for f*cking years. All you are doing is causing pain. Causing them pain, causing yourself pain, and if you believe in the afterlife you are causing your dead loved one pain. It’s HORRIBLE. You are damaging yourself and your loved one.
Please look into joining alzconnected . org forum and support groups if you are struggling with caring for a loved one who has dementia. Talk to others in your shoes. Call their helpline. Take care of yourself.
If you look around and see that a restaurant is full and short-staffed and you still have the audacity to complain about wait time, you don’t belong in public.
The “all women are beautiful” mentality is misogynistic as f*ck.
My worth as a woman/human has NOTHING to do with being beautiful.
The correct response to the misogynistic trope of “a woman’s worth is tied to her beauty” is NOT “all women are beautiful.” It’s “maybe women are human whether or not you want to f*ck us.”
I look like a potato. And I’m every bit as worthy of a human as Natalie Portman.
Coke tastes better in glass than in a can or plastic.
Education has the best return on investment of any expense a society can plausibly pay. I believe that it pays dividends, in the long run, on an entirely different scale than anything else we could be spending our money on.
Our education system(USA) needs to be fixed and prioritized.
Money doesn’t buy happiness, money buys to the opportunity to seek happiness. AKA “Having money ain’t everything, not having it is”. You yourself still have to put in the work to make yourself happy, money won’t do it for you. Wealthy people still get depressed, lonely, angry, jealous, like everyone else, and these feelings can’t be counteracted by just blowing a bunch of cash. The sentiment of “Well If I had millions of dollars like [person] does, I wouldn’t care” is absolutely loony. to truly be happy, Invest in what you cannot buy, like time, family, friends, sleep, and health.
You can’t “fix” autism nor should you try unless the child is severely autistic, nonverbal and cannot do things for themselves. If they are on the moderate to higher functioning end of the spectrum, there is nothing you can or should do to “fix” them.
People who allow their cats to go outdoors without a harness and go unsupervised are sh*tty and negligent pet owners and should not have cats.
When a kid has a birthday, only HE gets to blow out the candles! It INFURIATES me to my very soul when I see other kids try to blow them out. The only thing worse is when adults LET THEM.
Big groups who won’t make their way on the sidewalk. If you wont move I will walk right into you.
If your marshmallow is not a chunk of charcoal by the time you’re done roasting it, what is even the point of s’mores!? I will stand on this hill. I will die on this hill! Barely roasted marshmallows are an abomination!
Anyone who claims voting doesn’t matter has no idea how our system works, and is too lazy to take the time to learn.
Yes, all politicians are scumbags, but there is (mostly) always a lesser of two evils, so choosing to just say f*ck it and then complain constantly is both ignorant and annoying.
Gaslighting is not a synonym for lying, disagreeing, or even making someone feel uncertain about something. It goes much, much deeper than that, and “language is constantly evolving!” is no excuse to water down a word that refers to a very specific, concerted, traumatic form of abuse.
If moths like to hang around lights so much, why don’t they just COME OUT DURING THE DAY???
Organic produce does not taste better than conventional produce. The freshness of your produce has a much stronger effect on the flavor than anything else. If you buy produce from your local conventional farmer, it will be much more flavorful than if you buy organic from a grocery store. Organic vs conventional is more of a decision for how the farmer wants to operate their farm. Looking at it from this perspective, I am a massive proponent of organic farming.
The first meal of the day is breakfast. Doesn’t matter what it is or what time you eat it, the first meal of the day is when you are breaking your fast. Even if it’s dinner in the evening, it is ALSO breakfast.
Apple is a fashion company, not a technology company. Their products are not worth the price you pay but their marketing department is top-notch and has convinced everyone otherwise.
As someone who works in the marketing industry, mad props.
Seasoning eggs with salt and pepper WHILE they’re being cooked. I’ve been to so many breakfast restaurants where the server says, “Okay, we’ll bring you salt and pepper to the table”. No. F*ck that. Put the salt and pepper on the d*mn egg in the pan, it isn’t that hard and it is not even remotely comparable to just salting and peppering my eggs after they come out of the pan. What happens to food when you salt it after it’s removed from heat? It just tastes like f*cking salt. When you add it to the pan and heat? Amazing. Well seasoned. Perfect.
I don’t understand why breakfast restaurants don’t do this by default (other than maybe the effort it takes? I dunno). My girlfriend told me I am being unreasonable to insist, but I’m gonna die on that f*cking hill so hard.
When your doctor gives you antibiotics, finish your d*mned antibiotics. Don’t stop as soon as you feel better, because that’s where antibiotic-resistant bacteria come from.
Breeding/buying pugs is animal abuse. It should be illegal to breed a dog knowing it’s gonna live a needlessly difficult life, just because you think it looks cute.
Students should not be penalized for unexcused absences from lectures. Participation grades are okay if they’re done with a set grading system. Ambiguous grading for whether a student talks or not or grades simply for a student showing up, is b*llsh*t. Professors get paid either way.
Old people should be retested for their driver’s licence every couple of years, why not everyone for that matter?
Young people/who just passed their test maybe drive slowly and cautiously, but the older people who can’t see for sh*t or just no longer have the attention span to look right on the roundabout just once before pulling out, they’re everywhere and there the worst
Old/inattentive people are far more dangerous and cause far more accidents than the 17-year-old doing a one-wheel peel on an empty road at night…
Vanilla ice cream is a DECADENT and RICH flavor, it’s is absolutely not plain in any way. I will go down with this ship.
I found out a month ago that my boyfriend opened bananas from the bottom.
Yes, I am aware that primates do it that way. Yes, I am aware that you don’t get the gross little strings when you do it that way.
I just think it’s really weird and the way nearly everyone else opens bananas is the perfectly acceptable right way.
If my deaf a** didn’t hear you the first three times you said something, saying it again, with the exact same intonation, with the same volume, and with the same phrasing, is NOT going to miraculously work the fourth time. Please. PLEASE, for the love of God, try something else. I am sick and tired of people looking at me like I’m the crazy one when I wave my hands in their faces and say, “I caN’t HEar YoU, saY it dIFfeRENTLy.”
I mean, yes, the drooling and gibbering don’t help my case, but insanity doesn’t render me any more capable of hearing you.
If a snake bites you in ANY gaming system, it is not poison! It is venom! There’s a difference, and it rankles me every time. Additionally, people use ‘species’ to try and make a singular form of species. Species is both the singular and plural version of itself.
In my home, no wearing of shoes in the house.
It was normal for me growing up in Hawaii, so I thought it was the same everywhere else until I got my own place in college. Lots of people I knew who came over were confused and I hated explaining that it meant less vacuuming for me in the future.
People who often claim they have an “MSG allergy” believe that it is some sort of nasty Chinese additive that they are somehow superior to and their body reacts to as a result. They then happily eat Doritos or whatever things contain MSG or natural glutamates like it’s no big deal. So “I refuse to eat Chinese food with MSG” and then have no problem with it when it’s hidden in American junk food.
Accept NO as an answer
Girl doesn’t want to go out with you? That’s not an invitation to keep trying. A disabled person doesn’t want assistance and says they can do it themselves. Don’t do it for them. A guy doesn’t want to let you borrow his eraser because he’s a germaphobe? Find a different eraser without being a b*tch abt it.
Respecting other people’s boundaries without making them feel horrible about having any is really important, and if you can’t do it, that isn’t determination or confidence; it’s just plain rude.
As someone who works in a drive-thru, honking while you’re in the drive-thru will not make it move faster. I will strongly dislike you and your annoying obnoxious pettiness, and my ears will thank you if you decide to leave.
If you pour your syrup directly on top of your pancakes, you’re doing it wrong. And, you’re f*cking up my breakfast because I have to watch you turn beautiful, thick, golden brown fluffy flapjacks into mush. You can cut pieces one bite at a time and dip the bite in the pool of syrup you’ve poured on the side of your plate. That’s how you keep the cakes fluffy and delicious to the last bite.
I don’t care what you saw on TV or on the box of pancake mix. They’re wrong. I don’t care how long you’ve been doing it like that- it’s wrong. I tried to help my friend with this once, and he actually f*cking said to me “It’s my food. What if I like soggy pancakes?” Nobody f*cking likes soggy pancakes. What if I like you getting the f*ck out?
I play guitar. When I say play the lower string people almost always play the string closer to the ground. That’s ridiculous! Play the lower-as-in-pitch-string.
The strings are also numbered from the ground up or from another person’s perspective. When you look at the fretboard, you see it upside down! The strings should be named that way!
Just because I’m a girl doesn’t mean I can’t play as a male character in an MMO, and I swear if I have this argument ONE MORE time with a dude who’s playing as a female character, I will scream.
It’s perfectly reasonable to compare apples to oranges! They’re both fruits, they are both readily available year-round, and they comprise the two primary breakfast juices.
Had a buddy who had a no-sh*t Emergency spotlight in the back of his Jeep (inside the truck). It was hooked up to his electrical system for his Subwoofers And pointed out the back window.
Anyway, every once in a while, he would get an a**hole with the angled straight HIDs/Highbeams in a big lifted bro dozer who drive on his a** and flash him.
He would hit them with essentially the Batman signal. They typically got the message.
Getting compliments as a Dad for normal parenting behavior.
Yes, I can feed, bathe, and put to bed a 9,7, and 2-year-old. No, I didn’t need to call my wife for directions. No, the house didn’t burn down.
The praise you are heaping upon me doesn’t make me feel good. It just makes me feel bad for you, your kids, and your husband.
Severe period pain that stops you from functioning isn’t normal. Oh, but everybody has cramps. It’s not a big deal’’, I literally don’t know whether to throw up or sh*t first, if I even make it to the bathroom because I can barely get out of bed. Shut up!
I will forever die on the hill of ketchup needing to be cold. Goes back in the fridge immediately after I use it. Won’t touch it at a restaurant where it’s been on a table all day. Won’t order it on a hot meal. Has to be cold and on the side of whatever I’m eating it with.
A “comic book” is a serialized magazine-sized publication. An “anthology” or “comic magazine” is a bunch of comic books serialized in one publication, like Shounen Jump or 2000 AD. A “collection” or “trade paperback” is a bunch of issues of a comic book collected in full book form. A “graphic novel” is a book in comic format that was always a book and never serialized. The art form itself is “comics.”
You’re not legally blind without your glasses. The literal definition of being legally blind is that you can’t see a certain amount WITH correction. If glasses/contacts work adequately for you, you are not legally blind.
Ride your bike on the right side of a street, not on the left, not on the sidewalk. On the right side, on the edge of the road.
Riding on the left side is a death sentence. I see kids doing it all the time. If you are a parent and you encourage that or your kid to ride on a sidewalk, the risk that a car backs out and doesn’t see them is infinitely higher. Ride on the right side of the road.
I work by a pool and OBVIOUSLY, broken glass is a major issue here. In fact, our entire pool could get shut down for DAYS if even so much as a speck of broken glass gets into the pool because it’s dangerous. For this reason, I’m INCREDIBLY serious about glass entering the pool. I don’t care what it is, what’s in it, or how carefully you promise to take care of it, I want it either thrown away or removed. Seriously, just don’t bring glass to a public pool. It should be common sense, really.
People that don’t walk in escalators. Unless you’re too young, too old, or disabled. It’s not there to support your laziness.
Even worse, people that don’t walk and don’t stay to the right.
THE TV DOES NOT BELONG OVER A FIREPLACE!!
It’s a TV, not a picture frame. It’s seriously the worst design trend of the 21st century. It started as a marketing stunt when flat-screen TVs came out to show off how small and light the TVs were. It wasn’t meant to be incorporated into people’s homes.
And on that same note, any TV where the center is above eye level is too high. Again I repeat, a TV is NOT a picture frame! It belongs at TV height, not picture frame height.
If you want to wall mount your TV, wall mount it at the same height it would be on its stand.
You’re a sh*t neighbor and person if you let your dog continuously bark without correcting the behavior. Don’t get an animal if you’re not going to pay attention to it or train it.
I refuse to tip at a restaurant. It is not our responsibility to pay the waitstaff salary out of pocket. They should be paid a decent wage hourly. They should not be required to beg tips from customers just so they can survive.