In today’s fast-paced world, it’s hard not to notice that traditional manners have quietly slipped away from our daily routines. Simple courtesies, once second nature, are now rare encounters. Changing social norms, technology, and busy schedules have redefined what’s considered acceptable behavior. Has the art of politeness become obsolete? Our conversations, greetings, and even apologies seem less sincere, leaving many to wonder what happened to the social graces we once took for granted. Let’s explore the 24 manners that have all but disappeared—and what their absence means for our society.
1. Saying ‘Please’ and ‘Thank You’
Once the hallmark of good manners, these simple words are now often skipped in daily interactions. Whether ordering coffee or asking for help, many people neglect to express appreciation or make polite requests. This oversight can make our exchanges feel cold and impersonal rather than warm and human. According to Psychology Today, saying “thank you” not only strengthens relationships but also boosts our own well-being. A small phrase can go a long way—if only we remember to use it.
2. Holding Doors Open
There was a time when holding the door for someone was a simple, unspoken gesture of respect. Now, it’s common to see people breeze through entryways, oblivious to those behind them. This lost courtesy isn’t about tradition for tradition’s sake—it’s about acknowledging others in shared spaces. According to the Emily Post Institute, opening the door for anyone, regardless of gender or age, remains a timeless act of kindness. Such a small effort speaks volumes about our awareness and empathy.
3. Handwritten Thank-You Notes
In an age of instant messaging, handwritten thank-you notes have nearly disappeared. Once a cherished way to express gratitude after receiving a gift or favor, these personal messages have been replaced by quick texts or emails. The New York Times highlights a notable decline in this tradition. Taking the time to craft a note by hand showed sincerity and effort—qualities that are often lost in today’s fast-paced digital exchanges.
4. Greeting Neighbors
Friendly waves and casual conversations with neighbors are becoming rare sights. Many retreat behind closed doors or stay glued to their devices, missing those small moments of connection. This fading tradition has a real impact—less neighborly interaction leads to weakened community bonds and lower trust. According to Pew Research Center, there’s a growing sense of isolation in American neighborhoods. A simple “hello” can help bridge the gap and foster a sense of belonging.
5. RSVP-ing to Invitations
Once a fundamental part of social etiquette, RSVP-ing to invitations has fallen by the wayside. Many people ignore requests or wait until the last possible moment to respond, leaving hosts uncertain about their plans. This lack of communication can cause frustration and disrupt event preparations. As Martha Stewart explains, sending a timely RSVP is not just polite—it’s essential for any gathering. A simple response shows respect for the host’s time and effort.
6. Giving Up Seats for Others
Offering your seat to someone in need—whether it’s an elderly person, a pregnant woman, or someone with a disability—was once an unquestioned act of kindness. Now, this gesture is less visible, especially on crowded public transport. Many people are preoccupied with their phones or simply unaware of those around them. The BBC has noted a shift in public transport etiquette, with fewer passengers making room for others. Remembering to look up and show consideration can make shared spaces more welcoming for everyone.
7. Table Manners
Traditional table manners, like chewing with your mouth closed and using utensils correctly, are slipping away as meals become more informal. Family gatherings and even special occasions often see relaxed standards, with etiquette taking a back seat. This shift can make dining less pleasant for everyone at the table. According to The Spruce, understanding the basics of table etiquette is essential for showing respect to fellow diners. When manners fade, so does the enjoyment of shared meals.
8. Addressing People by Title
Referring to someone as Mr., Mrs., Ms., or Dr. was once an automatic sign of respect, particularly with elders, teachers, or professionals. Now, a wave of informality has made first-name basis the new norm in many settings. While some find this casual approach friendly, in certain cultures and contexts, titles remain important for showing deference. NPR highlights how the evolution of address reflects changing social dynamics (source). Recognizing when and how to use titles can still set the right tone in interactions.
9. Saying Excuse Me
Once a natural part of polite conversation, saying “excuse me” when passing by, interrupting, or after sneezing seems to be fading. Many now brush past others or interject without a second thought, making crowded spaces feel tense and unfriendly. This simple phrase helps ease social interactions and shows respect for others’ space. As Reader’s Digest points out, using “excuse me” still matters for keeping everyday encounters smooth and considerate.
10. Punctuality
Being on time once demonstrated respect for others’ schedules and commitments. Today, chronic lateness is often brushed off as unavoidable or even acceptable, thanks to hectic routines and a more relaxed social climate. This shift affects relationships and trust in both work and personal life. As the Harvard Business Review notes, punctuality still matters—a lot. Arriving promptly communicates reliability and consideration, values that shouldn’t disappear with changing times.
11. Offering to Help
Acts like offering to carry someone’s bags or lending a hand after dinner are becoming rare as people grow more absorbed in their own routines. This decline in everyday helpfulness chips away at the sense of community and warmth that comes from looking out for one another. Even small gestures can brighten someone’s day and strengthen social bonds. According to The Guardian, the willingness to help is fading, but its importance remains unchanged.
12. Waiting Your Turn
Patience in lines and respecting the order of arrival are fading, with queue-jumping and impatience on the rise. This shift is especially noticeable in busy settings, where growing individualism sometimes trumps courtesy. Ignoring the value of waiting your turn can spark unnecessary conflict and frustration. As BBC News points out, fair queuing is a cornerstone of civil society. Taking a moment to wait patiently shows respect for others and keeps things running smoothly.
13. Making Eye Contact
Eye contact has long been a powerful way to show attention, sincerity, and respect in conversation. Today, however, many people look away—often distracted by screens or feeling uncomfortable with direct gaze. This avoidance can make interactions feel distant and less trustworthy, undermining genuine connection. According to Psychology Today, maintaining eye contact is crucial for effective communication and building trust. A simple glance can make all the difference in how we relate to one another.
14. Apologizing Sincerely
Genuine apologies are becoming increasingly rare, often replaced by a quick “sorry” via text or skipped altogether. This trend can leave wounds unhealed and misunderstandings unresolved. A heartfelt apology has the power to mend relationships and restore trust, yet the art of saying “I’m truly sorry” seems to be fading. Harvard Health Publishing emphasizes that a sincere apology goes a long way in bridging gaps and moving forward (source).
15. Listening Without Interrupting
Practicing active listening—truly hearing someone out before responding—has become increasingly rare. Today, conversations are often punctuated by interruptions, as people rush to share their own thoughts or opinions. This habit can leave others feeling unheard and undervalued, eroding the quality of our interactions. Forbes highlights that attentive listening builds understanding and trust, making communication more meaningful (source). Taking a moment to listen fully is a courtesy that can transform any conversation.
16. Not Using Phones at the Table
Once considered rude, using phones during meals is now a common sight, even at family dinners or outings with friends. This habit disrupts genuine conversation and signals a lack of interest in those physically present. Moments that could foster connection are instead lost to scrolling and notifications. According to CNN, device use at the table undermines the value of shared meals. A simple act—putting the phone away—can bring people closer together.
17. Polite Conversation Starters
Engaging in friendly small talk or asking polite questions was once the norm for breaking the ice. Today, conversations often start abruptly or with overly personal topics, leading to discomfort or awkwardness. Simple, kind openers can set a welcoming tone and make social interactions smoother. According to The Spruce, using thoughtful conversation starters can greatly improve etiquette and put everyone at ease. A gentle introduction is a timeless tool for good manners.
18. Dress Codes for Occasions
Choosing attire that fits the occasion once signaled respect for hosts and settings. Now, as dress codes become increasingly relaxed, the meaning behind how we dress can get lost. Showing up underdressed or overdressed may cause discomfort for both the individual and others at the event. The Atlantic explores how shifting norms are changing our approach to appropriate attire (source). Thoughtful dressing remains a subtle but important form of social grace.
19. Sending Regrets When Unable to Attend
Notifying a host when you can’t make it—and expressing genuine regret—was once a mark of thoughtfulness and respect. Today, unanswered invitations or last-minute cancellations are all too common, often leaving hosts disappointed or inconvenienced. This simple act of courtesy can go a long way in maintaining strong relationships. According to The Spruce, politely declining an invitation is still an essential part of good etiquette.
20. Mindful Language and Tone
Courteous language and a respectful tone once shaped everyday conversations, helping to prevent misunderstandings and maintain harmony. Now, bluntness or sarcasm often overshadows tact, sometimes causing unnecessary hurt or fueling conflicts. The way we say things matters just as much as what we say. Psychology Today highlights how tone can deeply affect the outcome of our interactions (source). Choosing words and tone thoughtfully remains a cornerstone of good manners.
21. Not Talking Over Others
Interrupting or talking over others—whether in meetings or casual gatherings—has become all too common. Even when unintentional, this habit disrupts the flow of conversation and can leave people feeling ignored or unappreciated. Practicing restraint and allowing everyone a chance to speak fosters more inclusive and productive dialogue. According to Harvard Business Review, mindful communication helps ensure all voices are heard and valued. Respecting others’ turn to speak is a simple but powerful social grace.
22. Respecting Personal Space
Respecting personal space has always been a key aspect of good manners, yet it’s often neglected in crowded or hurried environments. Standing too close or ignoring boundaries can make others uncomfortable and anxious. This courtesy became even more important during and after the pandemic, when awareness of social distancing grew. The CDC highlights the continued value of maintaining personal space for everyone’s comfort and well-being. Mindfulness in this area fosters respect and reassurance in public settings.
23. Sending Get-Well or Sympathy Cards
Once a heartfelt tradition, sending get-well or sympathy cards was a gentle way to offer comfort during illness or loss. Today, digital messages have largely replaced handwritten cards, making gestures of support feel less personal and meaningful. A card in the mail can provide real solace and show that someone truly cares. The Washington Post explores the fading art of sympathy cards and the impact on relationships during tough times.
24. Respecting Elders
Demonstrating respect for elders—whether by listening to their stories, seeking their advice, or addressing them with formality—was once a cornerstone of social etiquette. Today, in the rush of modern life, this deference is sometimes overlooked or forgotten. Valuing older generations is not just a tradition, but a way to honor wisdom and experience. AARP underscores the importance of maintaining these practices for stronger, more connected communities (source).
Conclusion
As these 24 lost social graces reveal, the decline of everyday manners has real consequences for our relationships and communities. When we let go of small acts of courtesy, we risk eroding trust, empathy, and connection. Yet, it’s never too late to revive these traditions. By saying “please,” listening attentively, or simply holding a door, we can strengthen our bonds and inspire others to do the same.
.article-content-img img { width: 100% }