Hey, life can be a bit of a rollercoaster, right? We all carry around our own set of personal rules to navigate through the twists and turns. These are like the compass in our crazy journey – pointing us in the right direction. So spill it, what’s your golden rule in this life hustle? Is it some timeless advice, a wise tip from your aunt, or maybe just a nugget of unexpected wisdom from a fortune cookie? Or perhaps your rule is more like a flexible mantra, adapting to whatever life throws your way.
And as we unpack this interesting question, keep in mind – our golden rules are like the fingerprints of our souls, unique, revealing, and sometimes marked by life’s messy moments. In our quest for wisdom and a good laugh, we’ll come across rules as diverse as the people who follow them, from serious to just downright quirky. So, hang tight, ’cause, in the world of golden rules, the journey is just as interesting as the tricky destination.
Never make fun of or criticize someone’s job. If they are working hard to provide for themselves and their family, then that is something that should be admired and respected no matter how unglamorous the job may be.
Only lend someone money if you’re okay with viewing it as a gift to them. That way, if they do pay you back, it’s a pleasant surprise. If they don’t, it’s no chip off your shoulder.
Don’t worry, take it easy. When you get a flat on the side of the road in the middle of nowhere, and as soon as you take out your spare it deflates. All there is to do is laugh while your friend or the tow truck gets there. Relax, every minor problem isn’t the end of your world.
Take time between bites. just slow it down. and drink water.
I don’t know if that’s common sense, but I guess I used to inhale my food, and you’re not supposed to do that. I get full when I eat like a normal person who isn’t in a hurry.
Does this even qualify as a golden rule? I feel like it kind of is for me, so I don’t throw up later.
When on a first date, I just wear my craziest outfit (it’s a white tie-up blouse with decorative eyelets, a pink and white striped skirt with rabbits and cake on the border with a petticoat to keep it exciting).
I’ve been in relationships where what I wore was under a lot of scrutiny, and I was told off for it a lot. Never again. I like my clothes they help me not feel anxious.
I’ve been on first dates when I dress sensibly and it comes out they actively hate rockabilly clothing.
This way, I scare off people who won’t like the way I present myself quickly, and save everyone time
I used to say sorry way way way too much. So I have a basic rule of thumb: If I could go back in time, would I do it differently? if I drop my mug of coffee on someone, I’d definitely say sorry many times. I don’t want to hurt anyone, and I don’t want to drop my mug or my coffee. But if I had to pick one of two people to fire, I wouldn’t be sorry for firing whoever I chose. Because if I went back in time and did it all over again, I’d still fire that same person.
Overall this has worked in my favor dramatically. An honest downside is that now sometimes people say that I don’t say I’m sorry enough.
Don’t make promises you can’t keep, but keep all your promises. It’s amazing the reputation you build for yourself if you do what you say you’ll do. It made getting references for jobs easier, as employers love someone who is reliable, and it helped me when it came to dating. My fiance said one of the things she likes the most about me is if I say I’ll do something, then I’ll do it.
If someone is doing something for me in any capacity without expecting compensation (i.e., a favor), they should have to do what was agreed on, and ONLY what was agreed on.
My friends offer to help me move because when they show up, that’s all they have to do; pick up boxes, and load them up. They aren’t there to clean my stuff or organize it.
When you offer to give me a ride somewhere at 7:00 am, I’m going to be on my porch at 6:55 am chillin. You’re not my alarm clock or my mother. I don’t expect you to detour to drop off something for me, either.
If I ask you to help me fix or repair something above my knowledge, I’ll have the stuff cleared out around it, have it accessible, ask if you need any tools or provisions, stand to offer any assistance I can, etc. Not make you dig through stuff to get to it while I go sit on my phone the whole time you’re working. I want you to do as little as possible beyond actually repairing the item.
It’s all about recognizing that no one has to do jack for me. So when they do, I want them to remember that when I ask them to do something, they will pretty much only have to do just that and nothing else. No complications. On time. I like to think this pays off because I feel like I have a good amount of people I can reach out to at any given time for assistance and they will often oblige because they understand my appreciation of their favors.
Never ever betray friends. At what point in your life, they may be the only family you have. Friends are more important than most people realize. To me, my friends are family, and to betray them honestly disgusts me.
Pee when you can. Seriously. Small urge to pee when you’re about to lie down? Take a pee. No urge to pee when you’re about to lay down? Take a pee. About to leave for a date and just peed? Take a pee.
It’s so nice, never having an inconvenient urge to pee because whenever I have a chance to take a convenient pee, I take it.
Whether you outright accuse them of it (i.e., “You don’t have to get so upset about it!”, “Stop overreacting,” etc.) or indirectly claim it through a question (i.e., “Why do you get so embarrassed when…”), it is often embarrassing or even insulting to the individual to have their entire current state of being reduced to a single word. That word you just accused them of being, even when used with the best intentions, does not even come close to the way they are really feeling.
This is my philosophy on why the common “Calm down,” “Stop overreacting,” etc., are often responded to with “I AM CALM” or “I’M NOT OVERREACTING.” It’s not that they disagree with you. It’s that you are misrepresenting the way they feel.
Instead, try asking them how they feel. Let them describe it to you because once you understand them in their own terms, you will better understand how they are perceiving the conversation.
I have become very aware of this and find that my conversations are much more meaningful and effective when I make a conscious effort to avoid it.
Never stand when you can sit. Never walk when you can ride. Never turn down a free meal. There is nothing wrong with standing or walking or paying, but when life offers you something, don’t be afraid to take it.
Applied to meetings and social functions: If you’re early, you’re on time. If you’re on time, you’re late.
Friends say we are meeting at 10 PM. I get there by 9 PM, grab a bite to eat or drink, and relax at a claimed spot at the bar before they actually show up. If they’re late, I get to talk to other people and have a way to excuse myself to get out of that conversation. Met a girl at the bar this way:
“Looks like my friends are here. It was nice talking to you, and I hope you enjoy your night.”
Later met the girl with her friends on the dance floor, kind of integrated our two groups with one of the outgoing guys in the group, and then I bailed because I hate social outings in Clarendon, Mike. Goddammit, this is why I get here early: to avoid the rush of the shoulder-to-shoulder packed bar scene.
Don’t drink before 3 pm. If you’re bored, get stuff done. Tbh, that’s more of a thing from years ago, when I was unemployed, skating around and drinking a beer when it hit noon. I realized things wouldn’t change unless I changed my priorities. I binned that beer, and lo and behold, things started falling into place a bit.
Christmas and birthdays are an exception, of course. Those days start with prosecco or champagne.
The students that cause the most trouble are the ones that need the most kindness and understanding. I teach mostly at-risk teenagers in an urban school district. They try to act like tough adults, but they’re still children trying to cope with incredibly unfair situations and rough upbringings. Making the decision to refrain from yelling and punishing the way, teachers feel they are expected to has made me a happier and more effective teacher!
Dance like no one is watching, sing like no one is listening, love like you’ve never been hurt, live like it’s your last day, and post on the internet like it’s going to be read back to you in a deposition.
I have never seen it work. I have heard horror stories and watched the abuse firsthand – you broke up for a reason. And if that reason is a sudden, compulsive urge to break up with someone, then your instincts might be doing you a favor. If someone breaks up with you in a fit of rage, maybe you should count your blessings that it ended then. Idk I’m not good with words, but it’s not a good idea.
I have heard cute stories about people who break up because they needed to move or something, and maybe that’s an exception. But if you break up because something just wasn’t working and someone gave up trying, well…
Leave the good parking spots (near the entrance or close to the building) for people who need it more (elderly, children, women, disabled people, etc). A little walk benefits everyone in the end!
Leave stress at the door where it was made. I imagine it like a big jacket with a bunch of pockets. I accumulate stress and stick it in my pockets. Before I leave work, I hang up my work-stress jacket and go home.
It’s hard, as you have a natural tendency to take stress with you everywhere, but those boundaries will make you an infinitely happier person. My home is my safe space where I shouldn’t (and don’t) worry about stressful stuff that did not originate there.
Whenever I exercise, and I want to stop and rest or not do it properly because I “can’t do better,” I just think, “I’m going to remember this moment when I’m not exercising, and I’m gonna think I could’ve done better,” and it helps me keep going until I know I have done well and can rest
Basically, I know I’m going to remember it and regret it, so I do it properly and make sure I won’t regret it.
It works for anything, actually. When ur supposed to be studying, just think, “I’m going to remember this, and I’m going to think, why didn’t I do it then? Because I’m having such a hard time now”
If u get it, lol, everything sounded much more clear in my head.
“do it now, do it well, and keep going so you won’t regret it later”
Because regret is a far worse feeling compared to feeling tired
Not really a golden rule, so I apologize, but one of the passive rules I practice myself is:
If I’m waiting to turn left over oncoming traffic and I’m waiting for an opening. If there is 1 last car left, but I have room and time to go, I won’t. This is so that I don’t put myself in a situation where something out of the blue could happen, and I end up colliding with that last car. Because if I did, how dumb would you feel? All u had to do was wait for one more car to pass.
Never walk backward in a restaurant. As a waiter for many years, I saw the consequences of people thinking it was safe to take steps backward without looking. The results are bad far more frequently than one would imagine without seeing it on a daily basis.
Don’t seek credit after doing something kind. The mark of a good person is kindness with no thought of reward (social attention and credit are rewards).
If you know somebody long enough and pay attention, you can get a pretty good idea about the scope of their kindness: only to friends, only when being observed, etc. If you bust somebody having been nice and thinking they were doing so anonymously, keep them as a friend.
The sobering fact is that when you really start paying attention and looking for this quality in people, you begin over time to discover that it’s a bit rarer than you hope.
Another thing to look for and start noticing in people (especially romantic partners): How do they react in that split second after somebody makes a mistake in their presence?
A lot of people seek to draw attention to or score social points from the mistakes of others. This can manifest in very subtle ways, like taking a beat to enjoy the moment when somebody is wrong or in error, or repeating back to you your error after you apologize or correct it already.
People who aren’t at all eager to emphasize others’ mistakes, and aren’t at all eager to make sure they get noticed are the best long-term partners.
If you make a wrong turn, misremember a fact, mess up a procedure, etc., then what is their immediate default reaction? Do you find that they want to make sure attention is focused on the mistake before moving past the situation? Or do they immediately mobilize to assist and minimize? Do they enjoy correcting you? Or do they simply inform?
Don’t enter a long-term relationship with somebody who scores points. If you start paying close attention, you will realize that most people do, and maybe that has something to do with the number of old married couples that tolerate each other at best rather than remain genuinely happy in each other’s company.
Always offer to help my coworkers out when things are a bit slow for me. This pays off immensely, as this week I was sadly looking at 60+ hours of work, and will be putting in only about 43 because 3 of my coworkers rushed to help me out as soon as they noticed I was overwhelmed.
No breakable electronics on surfaces that are meant to take human weight. That means no phones, tablets, laptops, kindles, etc., on the floor, chairs, car seats, bed- anywhere you stand/sit/lie. If I accidentally sit on my phone and break it because it’s camouflaged on the sofa, I’ll be angry.
My g/f ignores this rule and leaves her Macbook on the sofa, and even though I expect this and check for it, one day, I might be distracted, and it’s not worth taking the risk.
I do not make fun of other people’s broken languages or accents (English is not my first language, and I speak 3 languages). The fact that you speak 2 languages puts you higher up than the average people I know, and I won’t make fun of your accent or your small mistakes.
Never, ever send an email while angry. If you must write it, save it as a draft and walk away. In a few hours or the next day, read it again. The odds are good that you’ll realize it would have been a really bad idea to send it, and you’ll delete it. Yes, I learned this the hard way.
Don’t get mad at something that’s already happened. If you drop a glass on the floor, what good does it do to get angry? It’s happened. You can’t undo it, so clean it up and think about what you can do to make sure it doesn’t happen again.
Never swear around children. The natural order of life demands exposure to the negatives and positives of the world; however, in the case of vulgarity, I refuse to partake in any teachings where the younger generations are concerned.
Seriously. If you’re swearing around your child all the time, that’s great. All the power to you; I won’t try to stop you. Thankfully you can rest assured that your child won’t be hearing a single curse out of me…
If you find clothing or shoes that are really comfortable and you really like them, buy two. That way, once the first one falls apart, you have a backup set.
I always try to maintain my rule that I keep the best for last. When I am having lunch or dinner, I keep most of the food I enjoy the most for the end. If on a Sunday I need to do a lot of household I try to do it early in midday, so I have the afternoon and evening free. On a workday, I try to keep my breaks in reserve so that after 4 hours of working, I still have a full hour left. Gives me always something to work on and look forward to.
Any position I find myself in I ask myself if I feel safe. If I don’t, I remove myself from the situation as soon as I can.
If I feel safe, I ask if I am happy. If I am not happy, I ask myself why I am not happy. If these are in my control, then I have the power to be happy in the future. If they are out of my control, I can only remove myself from the situation, as I may never be happy. If I am happy, then I will stay.
This way of thinking makes sure I am not constantly in “survival mode” (like being in an abusive relationship or toxic workplace) and making sure I am not in, using the same examples, a loveless relationship or comfortable workplace just because I feel safe.
Laugh at something every single day. Even if it’s yourself.
Living by that stuff till the day I die, no matter how sad a day I’ve had or how upset I’ve gotten about something, I feel worlds better after a laugh.
I remember growing up, as an only child, and there were many occasions where my mum would spend a good amount of time ranting about how none of my friends could be trusted.
She’d say things like, “Trust no one. None of them are your friends; they’re all using you”. It was an utterly horrible, horrible way to think about people, and I grew up pretty isolated with that kind of social snarkiness passed down from my parents to me.
It was completely untrue too. It was the wrong advice. She’d stop me lending stuff to mates even though they were lending me loads of stuff without question…video games, VHS tapes, etc. It was such a joke, but 10-year-old me just absorbed it.
It’s poisonous to think this way. You HAVE to let some people in. You HAVE to trust. Sure, that trust will probably be broken…, but it’s better to surround yourself with people and trust in them and risk a bit of heartbreak than constantly looking at everyone cynically and growing up lonely as I did.
The thing is, she was trying to say, “be on your guard,” but she took it way, way too far. She was relentless – it was her throwing her weight around trying to appear wise and powerful, as I came to realize she enjoyed doing. That’s just her. As much as I love my mum, she was definitely a narcissist back in those days.
Always watch where you put your feet. You can’t walk without them! Ankle injuries suck, and I’m prone to them. So I always aim to take careful strides and watch where I put my feet.
As a constantly jaded person living in NYC for 8 years, I detest any attempts to grab my attention on the street (99% of the time, it’s because they want money). However, tourists, regardless of how much I make fun of them (mostly for eating at TGI Fridays at Times Square), will always get a smile and full directions from me if they ask nicely. Because, unlike the other 99%, they actually want something from me that’s not money, and that’s refreshing.
Leave it the way you found it (some say ‘or better’). If the door was closed, when you came in, close it when you leave. When you come into the conference room and the chairs are pushed in, push them back in before you leave.
Don’t criticize someone’s behavior until you have tried to imagine what would cause you to act the same.
If you think someone is dumb for kicking a vending machine, imagine you just lost your job, and that machine just ate your last dollar.
It doesn’t really matter whether or not this is really how they are – that moment of perspective is usually enough to overpower your initial reaction, and at least consider them as a person. Call it an enhanced theory of mind. And if, even though you can imagine yourself acting the same, you would still hate yourself, then maybe they’re just being petty.
There is a restaurant named “Wings” in my hometown, and for some reason, when I was like 8, I made a vow never to step foot into that restaurant. They have the cheapest wings in town, and everybody always wants to go there.
Everyone’s interests and hobbies are just as valid as everyone else’s as long as they aren’t hurting anyone. As such, I’m not allowed to say I don’t like something unless I’ve given it an HONEST and open-minded effort. This has also essentially boiled down to “if a friend asks me to do something I haven’t done before, and I have the time and resources to do it, I must accept the offer and go at it with enthusiasm.” because life is too short for me to look back and say “Oh well, wish I would’ve tried that when I had the opportunity.”
I don’t regret anything I’ve tried at this point, and I’ve made a lot of good friends doing a lot of stuff. The only downside is I usually really like whatever it is I try, so I don’t have the time to pursue every new hobby with any regularity. This originally came up like 12 years ago when I used to tease a guy for playing World of Warcraft. Then I realized it’s not really fair for me to judge his hobbies without having tried it myself. Ended up playing for like 2 years after that, and it’s what got me into PC gaming all those years ago.
Two calls. If I get a girl’s number, I will call twice. The first time if she didn’t answer, maybe she was busy and didn’t hear her phone or whatever. If she doesn’t answer the second call, I move on. Same with texting. Why waste the time? I don’t look like a creeper, and she is forgotten about.
My golden rule is something my mum taught me as a little girl. When I’m in a dating relationship, I don’t spend time one-on-one with any other men if I can avoid it. So many people (including myself) have been cheated on before, and this “golden rule” helps establish trust and strengthen the relationship I am pursuing. It’s not always easy, but it lets my man know he never has a thing to worry about. And the best part is that it’s my choice; no man has ever asked of or forced this upon me. Some men I’ve seen never even knew. =)
I used to be an extremely spineless person, to the point of not having opinions of my own, and while working through that, someone introduced me to Mike Carey’s run of the Lucifer comics.
Near the end, Lucifer gives one of the supporting characters (who was similarly “finding themselves”) this advice: “Trust your instincts, Elaine Belloc. If mercy’s your aim, be relentless in your mercy. Be absolute. Be yourself, until you bleed.”
That last bit has been my mantra ever since. I’m a socially liberal person serving in the Army, so I’ve gotten into no shortage of fights (verbal and otherwise) over issues, but I have at least been able to stay true to my moral compass.
You never know who will wind up being important in your life.
That biker you got mad at for blocking up the lane for 15 minutes and almost making you late to the interview, so you tailgated and honked at constantly?
Yeah, he’s going to be the interviewer. Shouldn’t have been mean.
Always assess “sh*t work,” “scut work,” “grunt work,” etc., before declining or complaining. Most of the time, it’s easier, more appreciated, less stressful, lower risk, and you’ll always be getting paid the same as you would if you were to do work that’s more challenging, less appreciated, riskier, and more stressful.
Check your ego at the door and look at it from a practical standpoint. It’s a job. You’re an employee. Unless you’re a CFO, shareholder, or someone who has actual “skin in the game,” Who cares? So what if the company wants to waste money by paying you to drive out to some consulting site to work on a server node, when you could just do it remotely, with a little extra effort? Is it a nice day out? If so, enjoy the scenic ride and make your boss happy at the same time.
Above all, don’t ruin it, for everyone else. Don’t be that person who shows up to the easy-peasy stuff-work site, when it’s your turn so you can burn through it really quickly and effectively while complaining about how it’s beneath you. You’re not proving anything by taking half a day to do what the other guys spend a whole day doing. Relax. Maintain the illusion that the task was at least semi-hard work. A lot more bad than good can come from the former.
Don’t give a care about the customer. I’m not saying don’t take pride in your work, nor am I saying to do a poor job (in my case of repairing cars). What I’m saying is that if a customer comes to me with a car that has 3 bald tires, 1 working headlight, next-to-no brake pads left with 2 broken coil springs, and all they want is an oil change, I’ll advise them that their car has all these faults and we can repair it for them for $money. When the customer tells me that they’re not worried about all that and that “their mechanic” will fix it and that they only want their oil changed, then I’ll change their oil, take their money for the oil change, and then send them down the road without giving them a second thought.
I used to care about the customer when I first got into the auto repair industry. Booze got expensive real quick. Once upon a time, I would worry about all the people driving around with bald tires and worn-out brakes to the point where I couldn’t sleep. So I’d drink rum until I could. Eventually, I learned how to not care, and now I don’t drink. I imagine that Doctors and Nurses develop the same kind of mentality. I have no first-hand knowledge of that, though, as I’m not a medical professional.
I’m in Kenya right now doing volunteer work. I have a friend of a friend who’s a cop who let me look into a jail cell in his “precinct.” That convinced me to never, ever get on the wrong side of a Kenyan cop.
The room was 8ft x 5 ft with a 3x4ish plank of old rotting wood. Everywhere that wasn’t the rotting wood was covered in poop, urine and dirt. There was no toilet.
If you commit a crime in Kenya as petty as “speeding” (there’s technically no real speed limit in most places, the cop basically tells you what you “did wrong”, and asks for a bribe) and you can’t pay up immediately (the bribe which can range from 40-400$ depending on the douchiness of the cop and how nice you look), you go sit in this cell until you get a court date.
There’s no ticket system for paying later. Your options are: pay the bribe, call a politically powerful friend, or jail cell. The cop will follow you to an ATM if you don’t have enough cash right there. I’d rather get mugged at gunpoint than have to deal with a cop here.
Kenyan cops are scary.
Kenya is a marvelously beautiful country. I highly recommend it for an amazing African experience with great relative safety. If crooked cops are enough to convince you not to travel somewhere, you’re going to miss out on a majority of the countries in the world and some of the most amazing places on earth.
Cutting a piece of wood? Double-check those measurements about to buy an expensive TV. Double-check everything to make sure it’ll work for your needs. About to move something heavy? Double-check to make sure nothing is in the way.
For example: the wife looks tired and stressed, she doesn’t want to clean the house or do dishes, but you REALLY want to look at Reddit.
Clean the house. It doesn’t take long, you’ll feel better about yourself and your wife will be happy with you. Plus, Reddit is always going to be there when you’re done.
If one of my friends does some kind of artistic output, paints a picture, produces a song, or writes a poem, I either compliment it or say nothing. If I genuinely think it sucks, I’ll be silent, I don’t want to give false praise, but I also don’t want to poop on something they did
No matter what you hear, what you see, or what you think, that “girl” in your video game is a dude unless absolutely proven otherwise.
I have 2 instances of this.
First: the guy pretends to be a girl and links consistent pics with what he is saying, even using a soundboard of his buddy’s girlfriend’s voice on cms to answer generic questions and further the illusion. His friend gets invited to the guild, not knowing any of this prior, and let’s just say their friendship either is rocky or doesn’t exist anymore.
Second: the guy pretends to be a girl, uses a voice modulator, and has his girlfriend take pictures for him so he can get his wow sub paid for. Tricks his whole guild and gets people kicked for accusing him of using a voice mod. The voice mod crashes one day, and he resets his mic talking in his normal voice, quits the game after he gets repeatedly put by old guild members on different servers.
Those are the two extremes I’ve seen dozens and dozens of times, sometimes more half-asses, but usually pictures are involved.
