The Most Hilarious (and Awful) Job Interviews People Have Ever Had

Julie Suliguin - May 4, 2023

We’ve all had our fair share of job interviews that left us scratching our heads and wondering if we were in some kind of parallel universe. But, some people have been through job interviews that are so outrageous, they make our experiences seem like a walk in the park. From interviewers who are more interested in personal details than professional qualifications to questions that have nothing to do with the job, the stories people have shared about their most insane job interviews will have you wondering how some people even manage to land a job.

Credit: freepik

Dodged a Bullet

Went to a company for a second interview with the head of the department I’d be working in. One of the first things he said was “I have no idea what’s going on here. This just got dropped in my lap this morning. I don’t think we even need someone in the role you’re interviewing for. I’ll interview you but I’m on my way to tell the owner we don’t need you.”

Had to grit my teeth and finish the interview because what if the owner told him to hire me? I didn’t get the job but I did let the HR person know what happened, for whatever that was worth.


Credit: freepik

Predator vs. Prey

At an interview for a tech startup, they asked me “If you could be any animal, what would you be?”

I answered “Otter” because you know, fun, active, work well with their hands and cute as f*ck.

They really debated whether or not to hire me because of that answer because, and I quote, “We only hire predators, never prey.” and they weren’t sure how to quantify an Otter, because none of them had ever paid the least bit of attention to any sort of animal documentary or read biology or you know, visited a zoo recently.

God that job sucked hard.


Credit: freepik

The Family Business

I’m 18 and living with my parents, I’ve only ever had labor jobs at this point (no real work experience). I end up getting an interview at a company that manufactures chain saws as an assembler, the pay and hours were great for an 18-year-old and I was pretty excited. My pops gave me a ride to the interview for some reason, straight up walked into the building with me and when the owner came out he shook my hand and told me to follow him into his office. My f*cking dad followed.

The whole interview was me, my dad and him. My dad even answered some questions like I was 8 years old.

I didn’t get hired.

Credit: freepik

No Laughing Matter

I went to an interview for a company and the interviewer asked me if I was laid back and had a good sense of humor. I like to think I am, but then he asked me to tell him a joke on the spot. I love to laugh and find a lot of things funny, but I am terrible at coming up with random jokes on the spot. He sat there trying to push me to come up with something for like 10 minutes before he finally gave up. I was incredibly awkward and felt like crap that I couldn’t come up with anything. This was the first time I’ve ever had an interviewer ask me something like that and I was mostly used to more professional interviews (this guy said “f*ck” a lot during the interview; not that I care, but it’s definitely not “professional”).


Credit: freepik

A Resumé That Stings

I went to a job interview, because they had spoken to me on the phone prior, and already wanted to hire me. Then after looking at my resume, they said that they were going to keep looking for another applicant because I was over-qualified. For whatever reason, I was too good to be true, and they wanted to keep a copy of my resume to judge future applicants.


Credit: freepik

Color Me Confused

Wanted to work at H&M, and got interviewed by the worst person ever. One question was and I am legit not lying, “What is your favorite color and why?” I answered, “Baby blue because it’s calming and not too harsh to the eyes.” My interviewer then said Oooh, sorry! Red is what we were looking for. And then proceeded to show me the exit.

Credit: freepik

The Bait and Switch

I drove an hour to be interviewed for a computer repair tech job at a rental company, and 3/4 of the way through the interview they told me I was perfect for the position, however, they recently removed the position altogether. They then asked if I’d be willing to repair furniture instead until the position opened again.


Credit: Madison News

The Unexpected Horror

They had a swarm of beetles on the outside of the building. It was interesting, but not really a red flag until I went inside.

Sitting in the conference room, the beetles started falling down through the ceiling, bouncing off my nose, landing in my hair, and going down my shirt to be trapped in my bra, where they started biting my cleavage.

As I am frozen in horror because I’d heard wonderful things about this company, it’s a super short commute, and I thought I really wanted this job, the lead interviewer keeps peering about as he’d heard there were bugs, but he just can’t see any. He wasn’t interested in relocating to another room. He put on reading glasses briefly to look at one I pointed out.

They lightly mocked me for being easily creeped out.

I endured a rain of biting beetles to meet with 12 different interviewers. I keep bees, and I am not easily disconcerted by bugs, but having them in my bra did make me twitchy as heck.

I did not get the job. They said they worried that I seemed uncomfortable in their work environment.


Credit: freepik

Plugged In or Not?

I was invited for an IT “helper” position when I was 17. Would help fix computers for people at a shady PC fix shop. They asked me “What’s the first thing you check if a customer calls and says their screen doesn’t turn on?” I said “Well, you gotta check if they have it plugged into a socket” They laughed and said thank you that will be it. Then led me to the door and gently pushed me out.

Credit: freepik

The Longest 45 Minutes

I had just moved to LA from the Midwest, I was extremely anxious about all the changes I was making and very vulnerable and high strung and it took me a long time to adjust and calm down. I arrived at my first job interview about five minutes early and they said “We’re not quite ready for you yet, why don’t you just walk around the store a bit and familiarize yourself with the layout”. I started overthinking and negative thinking, this led to full panic. Every lap around the place filled me with more and more dread. FORTY-FIVE minutes later they called me in. I sat down and immediately burst into tears. They just conducted the interview as normal and I sobbed throughout. I was humiliated. The icing on the cake is that a week later I received a formal rejection letter in the mail. And again the week after. And after. For 8 weeks.

Credit: freepik

From Excitement to Fear

My wife was set to complete her master’s at the end of 2019 and we were planning a move to the Pacific Northwest. She scored an interview for a high-up position with a company she had been hoping to land a job in for years. It was in her field, with good pay, but a lot of work. She was happy and I was excited for her.

The in-person interview was scheduled, so we flew out and decided to take a week to explore the area, maybe check out houses, and meet some locals in her field.

Her interview was on a Monday, and we got there on Saturday. Sunday evening, she gets an email that says they changed the location of the interview. She figured it was no big deal.

Just some background for my wife, she is a former correctional officer and did private security. She knows how to protect herself and is often weary of other people’s motives.

We drove the rental car to the interview site and she paused. It was an empty storefront with the door propped open by a wedge. She backed up and drove around to the alley where there were two black SUVs, and she noped out of there. Instead of calling the phone numbers on her paperwork, she googled the main office number and spoke with a receptionist. I didn’t hear the whole conversation, but when she asked to speak to the man who conducted her first phone interview, the lady said, “he is in our Chicago office.”

My wife turned pale and told the receptionist the information. After a long talk with someone else, she drove to their office and was met by police. She handed over all the paperwork, letters, forms, emails, and phone numbers, and I snapped pictures of the blank office and the SUV. There is a serious problem with human trafficking in that area, and they had set up a dangerous scam to get women. We didn’t hear anything after that. Her “interview” was early in the morning, so hopefully no one else got involved.

These people faked company emails, logos, and phone numbers and used the company’s actual employees to trick people into showing up. Be cautious of non-local job postings, kids.

Credit: freepik

No Time For You

The interviewer took a personal call during the interview on his cell phone. I figured it may be important at first, no big deal. But after about 10 minutes of him haggling at the price of a motorcycle he wanted to buy, I had enough and walked out. He tried to catch me on the way out and I told him if that’s how he acted during an interview I couldn’t imagine how terrible it must be working here.

I mean, it was just a sh*tty retail job, no real bridge to burn there.

Credit: freepik

Never Get Sick

Five interview rounds with the last interview round being with the CEO all for an entry-level customer service job. During the last interview, the CEO said you weren’t allowed to get sick, and you weren’t allowed to leave at the end of the day until all of the work had been done. So even though the job was 8-4 the CEO said customer service reps often stayed until 6 PM or later. She also asked if I would be comfortable secretly reporting to her about what the customer service team is up to. I declined the job offer and the company harassed me with emails asking why and what they did wrong. Really glad I didn’t take the job.


Credit: freepik

Unprofessionalism At Its Finest

I interviewed for a job back in my hometown about 11 or so years ago. The interviewer, which is was the boss/owner apparently, gets up and randomly starts screaming at his assistant to do something after looking at his computer for a moment before we even started the interview. Normally, I wouldn’t care about that as I don’t know the backstory of why he seemed so upset, but his tone was just so negative and degrading to that poor girl. He then proceeded to get up and continue screaming at her as if she wasn’t at her desk right in front of his office. The look on her face was so unnerving, poor thing. I couldn’t even understand the gist of what he was saying because I tend to tune out people who raise their voices.

Thank goodness there was a door in his office that lead outside. I got up, told him I was leaving, and went right out of the door only to be followed by him screaming at me wondering why I was leaving. I told him that he was being quite rude and very unprofessional by talking to an employee the way he did in front of others regardless of their work relationship. He was shocked at that reply, probably because nobody has ever talked to this guy like that. And yes, he looked like the type of guy who has never heard the word no. He then told me to f*ck off and he didn’t want weak people working for him anyway. Keep in mind, I was way overqualified for that job and I made sure he knew that as I was getting into my vehicle. It was so hard to keep my cool because I’m not the kind of person who likes people raising their voices in my face like that. As soon as I closed my door, he stormed off in a rage while calling me every name in the book.

Lo and behold, his “business” didn’t last very long and for some godawful reason, he ended up contacting me about doing a partnership together a couple of months later. Like WTF, why would I ever consider working with you if I would never work for you to begin with? He even had the nerve to try and make it seem like I was the one who did something wrong. He even threatened to sue me if I didn’t go into a partnership with him lol. Like that was going to scare me or something. I can see why he lost his business now and he definitely didn’t like me saying that to him either. In the midst of his screaming over the phone, I just told him to leave me alone and never call me again.

I’m not trying to put this guy on blast or anything, but I did find out later on that he was going through a divorce and had some problems he was dealing with. That doesn’t mean you need to take your anger out on someone who doesn’t even care to hear it or has nothing to do with your problems. I was positive that he even called me of all people because I was the only person that ever stood up to him and this was his way of trying to make himself feel better maybe. I don’t know, the whole situation was just comical and didn’t even seem real to me. It was definitely an experience lol.

Credit: freepik

Bachelors vs. Masters

Yeah, I have one that sticks out. I applied to a government branch as a network admin. The newspaper ad asked for a bachelors degree. They called me into the interview. When I got there, the first thing the interviewer said was, “We wanted someone with a masters degree. Why did you apply?”

Now, I wanted to give them the benefit of the doubt. Maybe they had other interviews that day and got them mixed up. Sh*t happens. I just informed the interviewer that the ad I applied for requested a bachelors degree, and confirmed the position I was interviewing for.

“No, we definitely wanted someone with a master’s degree. So, again, why did you apply?”

“If you wanted someone with a master’s degree, why did you bother calling me in for an interview?”

“You’re very rude and unprofessional.”

Yeah, you f*cked up at every junction thus far, but I’m the one who’s rude and unprofessional.

Credit: freepik

No Job Offer

I was interviewing for a job in Houston, and lived in Austin, about 2.5 hours away. I drove to Houston for the first round of interviews, and they said it went well and wanted to bring me in for a final interview, so I drove there again. It seemed like it went well and they told me they had one more interview to conduct and would have a decision tomorrow. So the next day came and went, I emailed the manager to ask if any decision had been made, but nothing, waited a couple more days, and left a voicemail, but nothing. Then a couple of days later, I just called the main number for the company and told the receptionist why I was calling. She was like “Well, someone just started in that job yesterday”. They ghosted me after I drove a total of 10 hours to interview twice. Still salty about that 11 years later.

Credit: freepik

Sweet Job, Sour Interviewer

Interviewer, putting candy bars on the table to open the interview: Have a candy bar. Do you want Hershey’s or Snickers?

Me: Neither, thanks.

I: Go ahead, pick one.

M: I don’t want any candy now, thanks.

I: Take one, Hershey’s or Snickers.

M: Okay, I’ll take the Snickers.

I: No, I want the Snickers. You take the Hershey’s.

M: No, thank you.

Credit: freepik

A Babysitting Gig

I went to interview for a job being a daycare worker for 4-year-olds. During the interview, they were like by the way, for this position you’ll be covering the lunch break for the infant-caregiver. So they put me in a padded room alone with SIX babies I’d never met before and I had to manage them for an hour.

The whole thing was insane in so many ways. I was dressed for an interview, not wrangling half a dozen babies. And the fact that I wasn’t hired to work there but they left me along with the kids. So bizarre.

Credit: freepik

One Terrible Experience

I walked in at 2:45 for a 3:00 interview.

At 4:00 I asked reception for the last time if I was going to be interviewed. Finally, they showed up 5 minutes later.

There were two people doing the interview. They were hostile. Rapid fire questions. Half of which had nothing to do with my experience. One kept asking me where I worked during such and such a time. Despite the other one looking at my application with all that info.

Then they told me that IF they hired me it’d be for a position below what I applied for. Much lower pay and I couldn’t take time off.

Finally, they basically told me they’d be watching me like a hawk and if I did drugs I’d be fired and arrested. I have never even smoked pot. I stood up and told them this wasn’t for me and walked out.

It was bizarre. I felt like I was being interrogated for a murder investigation as the prime suspect.

Credit: freepik

Mysterious Purple Mohawk

My interviewer comes about 30 minutes late and his first comment is “You’re the best-dressed candidate we’ve had all day”. I’m In a polo and khakis. This man is a mid-50s-ish well-groomed man in a button-down shirt and tie.

When we get to the interview room I expect this obviously senior and ranked guy to do the interview but when we arrive the “manager” (in quotes for later) turns out to be an early 20s white guy in a t-shirt with a dyed purple mohawk. I was beyond confused but whatever, don’t judge a book by its cover.

The manager then proceeds to stay sitting as I shake his hand, never motioning for me to sit, did not ask for a resume at all, and just start with the questions. I’m not a very formal guy but even I was confused by all this. All the questions are normal stuff like where do I work now, my school if I live in the area, that stuff.

Then he gets into job-specific questions and starts with: “What would you do if you knew an employee was stealing?”

Obviously, I tell him that I’d report that employee because you aren’t allowed to steal.

“Well, what if it was the cheapest item in the store? A 99¢ water bottle and they only did it once”

Again, I say stealing isn’t allowed and those costs can add up if they keep stealing.

“Well let’s say it’s your store. Gmony5100s supply store. What do you do?”

I tell him if it’s my store and one of my employees felt the need to steal water I’d probably just buy it for them and tell them not to steal in the future.

“Well, what if you forgot your wallet? You forgot your wallet and you know your employee is behind on rent and their last paycheck hasn’t gone through yet and they haven’t been paid?”

At this point, I’m just at a loss for words. What the f*ck is going on? Does he want me to say I’d just let someone steal or something? I genuinely feel like I’m being punked. He notices I’m kinda stuck and just moves on.

“Alright. How about we test your sales pitches? Imagine someone comes in and wants four of the chairs you’re sitting in at $25 each. How would sell them the chair I’m sitting in for $100 each.”

Again, I’m at a complete loss. What could I possibly say to that? If someone comes in wanting one kind of chair that’s obviously a cheaper option how the f*ck am I supposed to convince them to pay 400% that price for a different chair that’s not obviously better in any way? Especially on a product I know nothing about. I don’t even remember what I said but there’s no way in h*ll it was coherent.

After this, the guy ends the interview without ever having seen my resume, calls me by the wrong name, and sends me on my way.

As for why the “manager” was in quotes earlier, a coworker of mine who knows a worker there told me about a week later that nobody who works in that store has a purple mohawk. All of the district managers are black and the older guy I described is the store owner who should’ve done the interview.


Credit: freepik

The Illegal Question

Interviewer: Has a previous employer ever asked you to do anything illegal? (smug look on his face thinking I would be flustered)

Me: Yes, they asked me to take a copyrighted image and “tweak” it so we wouldn’t get caught.

Interviewer: Wow… what did you do?

Me: I said no, and am now trying to determine if YOU are going to ask me to do something illegal in this prospective job.

He spent the next 20 minutes apologizing and swearing he just thought it was a fun interview question.

Credit: freepik

Didn’t Make the Cut

When I was sixteen I was offered an interview with a Canadian restaurant corporation “famous” for their rotisserie chickens…

The interviewer was forty minutes late, leaving me lots of time to hear the kitchen crew screaming and yelling at each other over who was sleeping with who’s boyfriend.

Once the interviewer actually showed up, it lasted two minutes tops as she decided “I wasn’t the type of face their franchise liked to hire.”

Credit: freepik

Sorry, Not Sorry

I once had an interviewer like this. His exact quote was “We don’t care if you have a sick kid that needs to go to the ER, you can never have time off for the first 6 months” – which A) is illegal here, and B) I have a disability so I needed time off every few months for doctors’ appointments. They could not understand why I turned down the job. The recruiter actually called me to try and save the job offer and told me I was misunderstanding. Here’s how that went.

Me: Okay, I’m happy to be wrong about this. What am I misunderstanding? The manager was pretty clear that no one gets time off, for any reason, even an ER visit, for the 6 month intro period. Then he asked to extend the intro period to 1 year, so no time off for 1 year. Is that still the arrangement you’d be proposing?

Recruiter: Well yes… it’s just that EVERY new hire goes through this.

Me: Oh I understand that. And that’s why I’m not accepting the job.

Recruiter: But…everyone…maybe you can negotiate some time off?

Me: Per state law, I’m entitled to XYZ. The company cannot refuse it. The company has told me they plan to refuse it. I’m not quitting my job – which has unlimited PTO – for a company that told me I couldn’t take my hypothetical child to the doctor. Or have a vacation or a sick day. We are legally entitled as workers to sick time, and you’ve now told me that you violate the law for every new hire at the expense of their own health and their child’s health. That’s not the type of company I want to work for.

Recruiter: …..but….you’re misunderstanding. Everyone we hire does this. 🙁

Me: ….well……not me. Thanks again for calling.

Credit: freepik

Who Won?

I applied for an internship at a human rights law office. They gave me questions on the spot to debate with them, like “Should people accused of r*pe remain anonymous until convicted” and “Is bribery acceptable if it’s for a good cause”.

It was me versus a panel of 5 senior human rights lawyers for a whole hour, who just ripped me apart from start to finish. Everything I said, they made it sound like the dumbest response with their rebuttals. By the end, I was a nervous babbling wreck. Did not get the internship, but did appreciate the experience in retrospect.

When they got back to me, they told me “Your CV (resume) was fantastic, so we were quite disappointed with how poor your interview was.” Burn

Credit: freepik

Almost Lost It

It was gonna be my first real job using my college degree. I had planned for it, bought new clothes, and developed answers to questions I thought they’d ask. The day of, I was sick. I called and asked if we could reschedule. They said the slots are full and that if I wanted the job, to come down and interview. Well, I went down, because you know, needing a job. I was sweating through my shirt because of my fever. I nearly threw up just waiting to be called. Finally, I get called in. Get weird looks from other interviewees. I sit across the table from my interviewer, a very pretty lady. She smiles but it’s forced. I see her look me over with disgust. Proceed with the interview. I’m still a gross mess, and halfway through, I feel the bile rise, the saliva filling my mouth. Think to myself, if I puke, I won’t get the job. Force it down. Swallow what came up. But I burped. It couldn’t be stopped. It smelled like vomit. She looked even more disgusted. Asks why I didn’t reschedule the interview. Told her I was sorry. That I tried to reschedule. She thanked me for coming in and asked me to leave.

Still got the job.


Credit: freepik

Don’t Believe the Hype?

I got an interview with Am*zon to be a “supervisor”. They asked me to drive one and a half hours to another city to do my second interview. Despite the place I applied for being 10 minutes away from where I lived. The pay they were offering was good so I thought it was worth it. I took a day off from my current job.

Drove there and discovering that they had given me choppy directions causing me to get lost and have to ask for directions. The place I stopped at rolled their eyes. This wasn’t the first time this had happened. They knew exactly where to point me. Red flag number one.

I finally arrive. Go to the interview. Over 100 people show up. Red flag number two.

They are doing a group interview for the role of supervisor and tell me they “accidentally” invited too many people and they only have 10 positions available for supervisor and ask me if unstead of I’d like a starting position instead for barely above minimum wage. Red flag number three.

But then I realize this is way too organized. They EXPECTED this many people because they PLANNED this and even had everything set up for a large group interview and even ask me personal questions about myself in front of multiple people. Red flag number four.

I do my best but feel insulted. I drove home feeling cheated. I wasted 4 hours driving and interviewing. Wasted all that gas and lost hours that I could have worked and went out of MY way wasting my precious time going to another town just for them to say oopsie?

They PLANNED this! I realized working for them would be a huge mistake. They had no respect for me as a person, a potential employee, my time, money, gas. What made me think they would care about me once I’m hired? This was clearly a deceptive bait and switch and I was not falling for it! Shady Shady Shady company! SHAME ON YOU AM*ZON!

I later sent them a letter declining them for the position. I would not be working for them.

Credit: freepik

Interview Etiquette 101

I applied for a job and the hiring manager called me when I was busy:

Me: “Hey thanks for reaching out to me, I’m actually busy at the moment, can we set something up for early next week? (It was a Friday afternoon when he called)”

Him: “How about later today?”

Me: “I don’t have the time today, Monday would be much better.”

Him: “I can just do it now then, it won’t take very long.”

Me: “Look I am very glad you called and I’m super interested in the position, but I’m doing a million things right now and my head isn’t in the best place to do an interview. I would really appreciate it if we could reschedule for next week.”

Him: pause “You know what, if you’re not going f*cking do what I want you to do, then I don’t want you working here anyways.” Hangs up

Dodged a bullet there lmao


Credit: freepik

The Camera Never Lies

I had an interview where I knew the answers I gave were good, solid examples. I understood the technical side well. But the interviewer kept sneering, being rude and saying “Really?” In a skeptical tone and I got the distinct impression he hated me. About 20 mins in, I thought about politely calling it a day and leaving but in my innocence thought it would be good practice to stay. 40 mins in, it’s like a light switch goes off inside and he’s the nicest guy, his eyes light up and he started hard selling the role and position to me. Introduces me to the team. The director interviews me and he and the team are lovely. Apparently, their interview technique is to be rude to see how you perform under pressure and they’d all been observing using a camera and were impressed I remained so polite and calm throughout. They couldn’t understand why I declined.

Credit: freepik

The Toaster Heist

During the summer after my freshman year of college, I applied for a part-time job at a mall outlet. Despite having zero retail experience, I got through the first round of interviews without any trouble whatsoever, performing well enough that the assistant manager wanted to give me the job on the spot. Since she didn’t have the authority to do that, though, I had to meet with her supervisor a couple of days later.

The date of my second interview rolled around, I was in high spirits. The manager had me fill out a brief questionnaire and then started asking me some fairly dull questions. Everything seemed to be going smoothly… until a particular enquiry caught me off-guard.

“What’s the most that you’ve ever stolen?” the man asked. “Give me a dollar amount.”

“Uh,” I stammered. “Is that really a question you can ask?”

“I’m just looking for a dollar amount.”

I racked my brain, trying to think of anything that I might have actually stolen over the course of my life. I’d certainly gotten up to my fair share of mischief, but actual theft had never been part of my repertoire.

“Zero,” I finally said. “I don’t think I’ve ever actually stolen anything.”

The manager’s plastered-on smile suddenly dropped away. “I see. Are you sure?”


“Really.” The beginnings of a suspicious glower darkened his eyes. “Go ahead and answer again. Just give me a dollar amount.”

What had started as a dull interview had become a downright bizarre interrogation. I thought about getting up and leaving… but it occurred to me that the whole thing might have been a test to see if I would change my answer.

“Zero,” I said again. “Zero dollars.”

The man sighed and put down his clipboard. “Come on. Do you actually want this job?” he asked (mirroring my own thoughts). I nodded in reply. “Then you need to start being honest with me. Just give me a dollar amount.”

“Fine, it was sixteen dollars!” I finally lied, pouring sarcasm into my words. “Sixteen dollars and forty-two cents!”

The transformation was immediate: All of the disapproval evaporated from the manager’s face, being replaced by a warm, visibly amused smile. “Hey, now, that’s not so bad!” he cheerfully said. “So, what was it?”

“A toaster.”

I hadn’t even bothered to think about what $16.42 might actually purchase; I’d just said the first thing that had popped into my mind. It didn’t seem to matter, though: My answer caused the manager’s grin to grow even wider, and he spent the rest of the interview laughing and joking with me.

The next day, I got a call, and I was asked if I still wanted the job at the mall.

I told them that I’d already taken a different position elsewhere.

For the record, that was also a lie.

Credit: freepik

Struggles to Impress

When I was a teenager I had an interview with Gamestop. One of their scripted questions was “What was your greatest accomplishment in life?” I started thinking… I said “Well, I’m only 16/17 years old, I haven’t done that much, but give me a second to think..” then the manager is talking about how the assistant manager (standing next to him) tried out for the Survivor TV show, spent 3 weeks alone in the amazon jungle, had to feed himself and build his own shelter.. he went on and on about it. I had nothing to respond with. What were they really expecting me to say? That I found a cure for cancer?


Credit: freepik

A Major Warning Sign

The whole interview was awful, but it ended with the following exchange.

Interviewer: Okay, so, before this guy comes in I just want you to know: he hates women.

Me: a woman

Interviewer: It’s okay though, he has a good excuse.

Me: I’d love to hear it.

Interviewer: You know the prime minister of Iceland?

Me: Yeah! Wasn’t she the first lesbian prime minister ever or something?

Interviewer: She’s also this guy’s ex-wife.

Credit: freepik

A Stressful Start

I was interviewing for a job at a restaurant as a hostess (I was like 16, never worked at a restaurant before). The questions went ok, but they wanted me to come back to work a shift on the floor to see how I “vibed with the team.”

About 10 minutes into the shift, the girl that was supposed to be training me leaves me alone at the front to “go do something.”

Two people come in wanting to be seated. I take them to a table in an open section, but they get upset and say they wanna sit over THERE where there are no other people around by a window. I tell them that that section isn’t open but they insist. 16-year-old me was like f*ck it, idk. And they went and sat in the closed section.

5 minutes later, a waitress comes up and yells at me because she had just cashed out but now couldn’t go home because I had seated someone in her section. I said sorry and tried to explain what happened. I asked if the other waitress could just cover them because it was one table that was supposed to be in her section anyways, but she just stormed off.

Not related, but I also needed to pee at one point but no one had shown me where the staff bathroom was and I couldn’t find anyone approachable to ask where it was, so I used the customer one. Which apparently is a huge f*cking deal.

Got a call the next day saying they weren’t gonna hire me for the position. Never paid me for that shift either. Can’t say I was too upset after the way the staff treated me on the first day.

Credit: freepik

Lack of Transparency

The interviewer was super high-strung and odd so I called my wife and was like hey this is weird just stay on the phone get to the back and he has this whole spiel he spews out, starts the interview immediately then I say, well I didn’t see any signage what exactly company is this and what do you do? His response: that doesn’t matter I’ll let you know when you’re hired. So I push and I’m like well I’d like to know what company I’m interviewing with before I fill out my social on this application his response: don’t worry just write it down. So now I’m on high alert like this isn’t right so I said well I’m done with this interview until you tell me what company I’m interviewing for. So he tries to talk and basically sidesteps my questions. So I stand up and say well I think this interview is over until you can tell me what company this is for so he picks up my resume and says well I think you’d be a great fit! I pick up my purse and turn to walk out tell him he’s making me uncomfortable and he sheepishly says it’s for Kirby vacuums and asked if I’m still interested, I said no I am not thank you.

I really thought I was about to be caught up in some weird porn or trafficked. Don’t interview at a company they won’t even tell you the name of, there’s typically a reason.

Credit: freepik

No Sleep, No Problem?

Interviewed for a job where they advised me some on-call work would be the norm, which I expected. What I didn’t foresee is this:

Interviewer: Well, just so you know, the way we handle weekend on-call is you’ll need to check a Blackberry about every 90 minutes to see if there are any tickets, and then you have 30 minutes to respond after that. You’d be on a call about every 6 to 8 weeks.

Me: OK. Just for clarity though, what about overnight? Does someone call the phone if a ticket comes in at 3:30 am?

I: No, we pretty much expect you to wake up every 90 minutes and check the email on the phone through the entire weekend.

M: Umm…okay, do you give the person on-call the following Monday off, then? That person is gonna be pretty sleep deprived after an entire weekend of that.

I: No, you still work your normal hours. It’s never been an issue.

M: Sorry, but that sounds extremely dangerous. You’re asking someone to basically sleep almost zero for an entire weekend and then you’re going to put them on the road Monday morning? You’re going to get an employee or other people killed.

I: Well, like I said, it’s never been an issue.

M: I think we’re done here. I’m not going to put myself or others at risk for any job. Just because nothing has happened before does not mean it can’t happen. I really think you need to re-evaluate this policy because I can’t tell you how crazy and dangerous this sounds.

I: OK. Well, like I said again, it’s never been a problem, but if it’s not for you that’s fine.

I left that interview completely dumbfounded and could not believe what I had heard. Still amazed years and years later they thought it was fine.

Credit: freepik

A Dangerous Job Offer

The interview was for a position assisting the owner of a small company. They ran things from their ranch, so the interview was WAY out in the country. Everything seemed normal. The person interviewing me was the owner. When I got there a few other people were still on the property. But as he was showing me around people were finishing up for the day and leaving.

Everything seemed normal. He went over past employment, job duties, salary, etc. Then it happened. He said it seemed like I was a good fit for the position, and offered me the job right then and there. I’ve been hired at an interview before, so it didn’t seem out of the ordinary.

The next thing he said was, “Now you understand that me having an attractive young woman working in my home is going to mean that I can’t date. Any woman would get jealous. So part of your job will be to do all those things I’ll be missing out on by not having a girlfriend.” He was explicit, but I don’t remember his exact words after this as I started to quietly freak out.


Everything went dark, my ears were ringing, and my heart was beating so hard I literally thought he’d be able to hear it.

Trying to sound casual, I told him I’d have to think about it. I had to ride in his truck off the property to the place where he picked me up, while he made small talk.

I felt like if he knew how outraged and disgusted I was he could have just killed me and thrown my body in the brush, that far out nobody would’ve ever found me. He also had hogs on his property so that creepy scene from Snatch went through my mind.

I got home and contacted the police; the woman who previously occupied the position…missing.

Credit: freepik

Knowing Your Boundaries

When I was interviewing for my first job out of college, I was asked “What would you do if a senior employee asked you to pull a report, but you knew the answer they were looking for wasn’t on that report?” I said I would give them the report but also give them the info they actually needed.

Then, at the end of the interview, I asked “What challenges do new employees need to overcome in the first few months?” The interviewer said that sometimes we don’t listen to people in senior positions, and referenced my response to the previous question and that I should’ve just said pull the report and that’s all.

He then went on to essentially tell me that senior employees like to push new employees around and new employees are best off just taking it and working hard.

No, thank you to working there…

Credit: freepik

Not Just A Job

I was 23 at the time. The manager of the company interviewed me. He was old enough to be my grandfather.

He asked if I had a bf and if he was jealous.

He told me that there were going to be three options for me: The first one was to work from home, the second one was to work from the office, and the third one was to go on “business trips” with him twice a week. The 3d option was with the highest pay. He told me that I look like a smart girl and the third option would be the best for me.

It was clear he was hiring a personal escort.

He was such a creep and made me feel so uncomfortable.

Credit: freepik

The Wait and Warning

Receptionist for a vet. The woman working the desk basically told me not to accept a position as I waited an hour past my appointment time. Then the vet decided to interview me as he was operating on a cat. I didn’t know how far into the room I was allowed to go because the woman who led me to the room was squeamish and didn’t want to go past the door. The vet didn’t have my resume because HIS HANDS WERE IN A CAT. So he didn’t have specific questions to ask me. He did wonder if I wanted to work for him for zero pay for a week so we could see if we were compatible. On the way out I was shown the freezer where the dead pets were kept. Never returned their calls.

Credit: freepik

Rejection Turned Blessing

I was applying for a restaurant job right after leaving the Air Force. I had been a cook for 10 years. The interviewer told me, “I think you are too fat for this job, and you don’t seem motivated enough. We had another AF guy apply, and he seems to be much more impressive.” I had worked with the guy they ended up hiring, and I knew he fed them a line of sh*t. He ended up walking out one day during his shift and emptied the register on his way out.

Credit: freepik

Thanks, Mr. Manager

I was 16 years old and had an interview scheduled at a chain fast-food restaurant. The manager and I had just sat down to go over my application when health department officials accompanied by local police officers came in and shut the place down for numerous health code violations. The manager got up to deal with them and then stopped, turned to me and said “Better luck at your next interview, kid.”

Thus ended my fast food career.


Credit: freepik

Wasted Time and Money

I took vacation days to interview, bought my own plane ticket, and paid for my own hotel. The first thing the interviewer said was, “I have no intention of hiring you. This is just a courtesy because I knew your brother.” I had 8 more hours left in my interview day. It was painful.

They ended up offering me the position many weeks down the road because they couldn’t fill the position. I politely declined and got a very passive-aggressively worded survey to fill out explaining why I passed.

Credit: freepik

Sweeping Up Red Flags

At an interview to be a county street sweeper, a guy asks me if I have a girlfriend, and proceeds to rant for 5 minutes about how young people don’t get married anymore. Then he asks me what I want to avoid at the job. At the time I had no idea how to answer as I’d never been asked that in an interview before. So I ask him to clarify, to which he just repeats the question, over and over until he gets super angry that I don’t know how to answer that, then asks me to leave. To this day, biggest what the F interview I’ve had.

Credit: freepik

“Cut it out!”

I had a job interview for a local shop when I was a teenager where they were…strangely obsessed with my long hair.

“Would you be willing to cut your hair?” “Is it required?” “No.” “Then, no, I would not.” “Okay…”

Few questions later

“So, if we made it mandatory to cut your hair, would you?” “Um…I wouldn’t like it but I might.” “Might isn’t a definitive answer.”


Credit: freepik

The LinkedIn Trap

I was interviewing for a role at a SIEM company in Gartner’s upper-right Magic Quadrant. The interview seemed like it was going well until about 15 minutes in when a manager said, “Look, total transparency here — I can’t hire you for this role because, for less than what I’d have to pay you as a mid-career professional, I can hire two kids with associate’s degrees who can probably figure it out together and have them surviving on beans and rice.” (Direct quote, BTW.)

“Well, you knew my background, so what I am I doing here?” I asked.

“You have some intriguing connections on your LinkedIn profile, and I’d love to maybe get some introductions…”