McMansion Hell: When Bigger Isn’t Better

Shannon Quinn - February 27, 2023
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McMansion Hell: When Bigger Isn’t Better
Photo: Credit: Reddit
Credit: Reddit

Mega Shutters

Like the caption on the photo says, these are some mega shutters that are totally oversized. They are so big, they don’t match the size of the windows at all. I’m not sure what they were thinking. Someone in the comment section said that if these shutters actually closed, it might be worth having if it would protect you from a hurricane or a tornado. But the truth is that they probably did this as a purely aesthetic choice. It looks completely awkward, and it probably cost a lot of money. I’m not sure what they were thinking, but we will never know.

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Credit: Reddit

Did This House Used to be a Pizza Hut?

Serious question here. Was this house once a Pizza Hut? There are a lot of Pizza Huts Across the United States that have shut down as the company is struggling to survive. Or, they simply moved to smaller locations where the rent is cheaper than having these large restaurants with the specially shaped roof. But why on Earth would anyone decide to build a house like this? Pizza Hut has been around for a long time now, and this house does not look very old. Maybe this person worked for the company, or maybe they saw it in a design magazine and did not connect the dots.

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Credit: Reddit

A Texas Mansion That Looks More Like a Bank

As you can see from the captions written on the photo above, there is a lot going on here to unpack. First of all, they have these weird modern turrets installed on either side of the house. There are window frame holes on the top tower, but no actual Windows to let in natural light. The shape of this building truly does look like a bank. I’m not sure if this really gives the vibe of being a warm welcoming home. It feels rather cold, and sort of looks like it belongs in the military. And, as the redditor pointed out in their captions, the building is not actually even on both sides. Someone made a huge mistake, and it seems no one noticed with enough time to fix the problem. This is why you should always measure.

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Credit: Reddit

This House Looks Like the Jurassic Park Visitor’s Center

When you first see this photo, you would be forgiven for assuming that it was some sort of office or business building. But, no. This is a private house that someone built for their family to live in. The living room is huge, and includes a mountain that is also an indoor koi pond. If you look at the original Reddit post, there is an entire image gallery giving you photos from multiple angles of this property. The indoor Pond was probably a huge pain to clean. And, as someone pointed out in the comments, this kind of looks like the visitor center from Jurassic Park. It doesn’t make sense as a home, but maybe the next buyer will turn it into some sort of business.

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Credit: Reddit

The Faux Antebellum McMansion

In case you didn’t know, the term Antebellum refers to a time period in the American South before the Civil war. Antebellum mansions are beautiful, because the men who built them were profiting off of their businesses that were unethical to say the least. Many of these mansions were situated on plantations that were farmed by African American slaves. However, even though they have a dark history, a lot of people still love the architecture of Antebellum mansions. So this person decided to make a modern version of that. But they completely missed the mark when it comes to these double staircases coming down to the pool. Usually, this feature is reserved for an entryway. But someone decided to waste a lot of money by having a spiral staircase down to the pool, as if it was necessary.

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Credit: Reddit

The Twin Peaks Bathroom

From the outside, this mansion in Bozeman, Montana actually looks beautiful. It is situated somewhere in the mountains, and it has a lot of privacy and beautiful views. However, as you start to scroll through the photos of the interior, you might be shocked to stumble upon this red bathroom. It really reminds me of the trippy ’90s TV series called “Twin Peaks“. That show was weird and surrealist on purpose. But whoever made this house thought that this bathroom screamed luxury. According to someone in the comments, this house is a variation of the very popular “Masco House” design by Scholz Homes. The original and its variations were the most popular off the shelf luxury home plans of the 90s. There are thousands of identical mansions like this out there.

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Credit: Reddit

Insider Info on the McMansion Life

The text on this photo gives us some inside information about what goes on inside a McMansion. “For my job, I spend most of my time in these fake nice, cheap plywood house neighborhoods. They’re all the same. The right garage door most likely has the husband’s F250 and the wife’s Jeep. And the smaller garage door always has a super nice old muscle car. That’s just how they’ve been programmed.” Someone came to the homeowner’s defense in the comments, saying that the owner could have motorcycles, or maybe a beer fridge in the garage. There may be slight variations, but it’s still pretty accurate.

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Credit: Reddit

These Cheapskates Live in a McMansion, But Gave a $0 Tip

This photo was originally posted on a Doordash driver subReddit by someone who delivered food to this house. They said that this person gave them a $0 tip. And they took a photo of the house just to emphasize that they must have a lot of money, but they are selfish when it comes to tipping minimum wage workers. Here in the United States, there is a big culture around tipping service workers, because they make such little money. And if you don’t tip, it’s considered rude. Someone took this photo and reposted it on the McMansion Hell subReddit. Maybe this person spent all their money building an ostentatious house to the point where they don’t have enough left over to give a tip to their Doordash driver.

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Credit: Reddit

The Fortress

Something that’s common among McMansions is that they decide to use two different types of siding for the exterior of the house. In this case, they have a lot of faux stone plaster to the front of the house. But on the sides, you can see that they have regular vinyl siding. The stone extends on the bottom of the house, but maybe they ran out of money before they could finish siding the whole house. It looks like they want to have a strong fortress type of vibe going on. But once you look at it from the side, it looks like a Podunk castle. You can tell that they wanted their house to look expensive, and maybe they accomplished it. But it still looks very strange.

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Credit: Reddit

Is This a House, or a Theater?

Last but not least is this strange, creepy house on the top of a mountain. At first glance, it’s hard to wrap your mind around. Is it someone’s private home, a business, or a theater? But when you look through the image gallery on Reddit, you will notice that this actually does have a living room and a kitchen space like a normal home. But the owner of the house decided to build an entire theater inside. Someone in the comments said that this was once owned by someone who was trying to start their own church. Basically, this is the former location of a cult. But now they are trying to sell this as a private house. Good luck with that. This place would need to be exorcised of its demons, first.

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