Comedian and talk show host Jimmy Fallon posed a very important question on Twitter. He asked the audience to tell their worst first date stories. Very quickly, the hashtag became a trending topic on Twitter that day. So he continues to do a segment on his show again and again. Some of these stories are so crazy, it’s hard to believe that anyone would actually do these things! To most of us, these examples of horrible behavior is completely unacceptable. If you think you’ve had bad experienced with dating, check out these tweets from audience members who were brave enough to share their worst first date experiences.
50. Can I At Least Get Some Celery With That Ranch?
The inaugural tweet from Jimmy Fallon reads: “Hashtag game! Tweet out a funny or embarrassing thing that happened to you on a date and tag it with #MyWorstDate. Could be on the show!” Later, many of those tweets ended up being read live across multiple episodes. Be sure to check it out on YouTube when you’re done reading the article. (We are only going to feature responses that were not on this clip!)
Someone named Bennettresponded, “A girl tried to kiss me with a mouthful of ranch dressing”. Yuck! In what scenario would this even happen? In a way, the fault also lies in the person who kissed them back. How did they not know that they were in the middle of eating their meal?
You’ll never guess who this story is talking about! Jimmy Fallon was a good sport by sharing his own embarrassing date story to the world: “I was so clueless on a date with this girl, I served saltine crackers and made her play Mario Kart with me.” In 2015, Nicole Kidman came on Jimmy Fallon’s talk show. He starts out the conversation, “We met before, I don’t know if you remember…” And Nicole Kidman says that she remembers vividly, because she thought they were on a date, and it was a total flop.
Jimmy Fallon had no idea. A friend called him to see if he wanted Nicole to come over, so he quickly picked up some snacks from the local deli. When Nicole showed up, Jimmy was wearing basketball shorts, a tee, and a baseball hat. They played Mario Kart. He had a crush on her, but assumed that she was just there to talk about being in the movie Bewitched. She assumed that they were supposed to be set up on a date. He was so nervous, he barely said a word. They were actually interested in dating one another, but were like two ships passing in the wind. Totally clueless. If you want to see the full clip of their conversation, you can watch it on YouTube.
Tamela says, “He stood very erect and wore a fake muscle chest, like a Batman costume under his clothes to look fit. I really thought he was. Next time I saw him, he forgot to wear it, and had a big belly. He also opened his eyes real wide to make a point when talking.”
This story is probably one of the most ridiculous ones on the list. You should never try to lie about something like that, because it guarantees that the relationship will never escalate. What was he going to do- wear the Batman costume when they eventually had sex? A lot of us are self conscious about our bodies. But it’s much better to meet someone where the are at, and judge them for their real body that you see in front of you on the first date. That way, they know what to expect.
Michelle said, “The waiter came over and looked confused. He turned to my date and asked ‘when did you stop being gay?’ We had a date last night.” Yikes. That’s awkward!
To be fair, maybe this guy was bisexual or pansexual. Just because he went on a date with a guy one night and a woman the next doesn’t mean he is in the closet. However, I can understand why this person must have been confused to see someone of another gender sitting across the table. He also should have asked the first date where they work. This whole mess could have easily been avoided if he had just paid attention to details.
Christy says, “What I thought as a romantic picnic at the park turned sour when he shared his interest on a documentary he watched about cannibalism and how he would like to try one day.”
Oh, no! Part of me wonders if this was just a very dark joke… Or if this man was dead serious. After all, plenty of cannibals out hiding in the shadows, right? A good rule of thumb is to leave the dark jokes on the back burner until you get to know someone better. I personally love black comedy. But it rubs a lot of people the wrong way.
Staz says, “We were slow dancing and he Frenched my left eyeball.” Yikes. Also, maybe you should have rinsed that out.
Sometimes when you’re nervous on a first date, you might be worried about missing your aim with the very first kiss. The not-to-obvious answer is to only slightly close your eyes and tilt your head in opposite directions as you lean in for the kiss before you completely close them.
Empress Herstory said, “On a first date, the guy asked me to smell his food because he thought it might be bad, then he pushed my face in it. One and done.”
That sounds like something straight out of elementary school. Men should never act like boys. Find yourself a man who acts like an adult. Dating a guy who is “boyish” might be fun at first. But these men rarely grow up to be truly masculine.
“Got breakfast and went for a walk in the park with a guy. When leaving, he opened his backseat door saying he wanted to show me something. He then pulled out devil sticks and proceeded to show me his skills in the parking lot in front of everyone. That was his big move.”
There are no words. Really. No words. Except that you should never do this. A lot of people think that they need to show off on the first date to impress the other person. But in reality, the first date is more about your chemistry with the other person. Take your time getting to know all the details. You’re not presenting your resume of every single skill. A relationship is a journey, and you don’t need to show your cards up front.
“I went on a date with a guy who told me he was the CFO for solo cup. When I told him I didn’t want to go on a 2nd date he said I would never find anyone who was smart and had as much money as him. A year later I ran into him at a car dealership selling cars.”
So many things wrong with this one. Liars never win. Ever. If you start the foundation of a relationship built on lies, it will never work out. Think about it for a second. When you lie about something, you will need to keep track of that lie so that you don’t mess up in the future. Keeping track of all those details is tedious and exhausting. It’s best to tell the truth up-front so that you never have to create a crazy web of lies.
40. Good Thing He Didn’t Put His Eggs in One Basket
“A bit long, but I went on dates with two different guys one week. I wanted to try just dating instead of talking to one person and putting my eggs in that basket. Well, on my first date with Guy 2, I found out that Guy 2 and Guy 1 had been together. But they broke up, because Guy 2 caught Guy 1 texting me. I didn’t even know Guy 1 was in a relationship.”
Wow. A bit complicated, but wow. This is a good reason why you shouldn’t try to cheat on your partner or date too many people at once. But poor Dan just wanted to date like anybody else!
“The whole date he talked about cheese… Just cheese, all types of cheese whether cottage cheese is actually cheese. Long long night.”
Talk about cheesy, right? I mean, maybe they have a cheesy soulmate out there waiting for them. But that’s definitely going to be a very specific sort of person. But I guess it could have been worse. Like some of these other bad first dates.
“Went on a blind date with a guy who kept saying I looked familiar. Halfway through the date, he realized it’s because he’s my mother’s gynecologist.”
Whoa, whoa, whoa. First of all, isn’t this some sort of HIPAA violation? If you go on a date with a doctor of any sort and they start revealing this sort of patient information, you should probably just cut your losses and walk away from the fancy doctor. We know it’s easy to be lured in by dating a doctor, but you definitely don’t want one that’s seen your mother’s intimate parts before yours. Or even the other way around!
Has Jenna had an awkward date? “Well yes I have. And I didn’t even know it was a date. The plan was going to the Vikings game. I thought it was more people, but no. So with paint on my face and a Vikings jersey, he sends me the meeting location. I walk into a 5-star candle lit restaurant, and he’s formally dressed.”
Oh boy. It’s the classic mistaken costume party trope with a twist. Maybe the only way to avoid this type of disastrous and cringe first date is by communicating a bit more beforehand. Of course, I wish that poor Jenna had given us the rest of the story and his reaction when his date showed up in Vikings attire and face paint. But love stories have been born out of stranger situations.
Leslie says, “My date let me out of the car to wait on the curb while he parallel parked. After 3 failed attempts her drove off. I walked home.”
Listen, I can’t parallel park either. But I had no shame getting into the parking garage instead. For whatever reason, men seem to want to back into parking spaces or parallel park even when they are terrible at it. And when they fail, it completely bruises their ego.
“As a senior in college, I asked a cute girl out. Halfway through the date, she told me that she was seriously thinking of becoming a nun after graduation in a few weeks. By the end of the date, she told me I helped her decide to take the plunge.”
Well that could have been a compliment? Maybe it was a deep conversation which is hard to find in a first date. But I would feel a bit insulted as well. If you’ve been told your date and presence gave the final push for a woman to take a vow of celibacy for life, it probably doesn’t feel too good.
Danielle says, “I met a guy online and we saw a movie on our first date. At the end of the night when acting like he was going in for a kiss, he put his whole mouth over my nose and blew into it. Laughing, as he says he does this to his dogs and calls it a ‘puppy trumpet’.”
One of the worst things you can ever call a woman is a “dog”. This one could go 50/50 on reaction though. Dog guys are endearing and an animal lover is always a plus. However, it’s hard to believe he could so badly misread a potentially romantic moment by blowing in her face like that. But maybe he’ll find his soulmate that way someday.
“Uh, had a few too many beforehand. Went to men’s room and forgot about my date. Came out, saw her, and tried to pick her up.”
Listen up fellas, girls, gays, and theys… Lay off the alcohol before a date. Especially a first date. There is nothing more off-putting than a date showing up and not remembering who you are. If you get nervous before a date and need some courage, opt out of the liquid kind. It’s not going to end well.
Marie says, “Two guys sat next to me and my friend at the movie theater. So I leaned over and whispered, ‘Are we on a double date?’ They moved.
Well this is one way to take care of bothersome people crowding you. This is less a first date and more a witty way to deal with people invading your space. So we will add this to our next advice column. But who knows? Maybe this could turn into a Mindy Khaling approved “Meet Cute”.
Kyle talks about his worst date and although it’s straight to the point and short… we wouldn’t want to be in his shoes: “First date with my high school girlfriend, I asked if I could kiss her… She laughed at me.” Ouch.
We don’t know the backstory of these two or if she had the nervous laughs. But on the other side, that doesn’t feel very good. But there are some people who even laugh at funerals! So maybe we just feel sorry for Kyle while also holding out hope that she wasn’t trying to be mean.
Margaret had a very rough time with this one. “One time my date took me to Taco Bell because he wanted to be cheap. And then he left me there.”
Listen, if you don’t have much money for a date, that’s not a big deal. But it sounds like this guy was a straight up jerk. You just don’t leave your date… especially at a Taco Bell! That’s just going to paint you as a gross person. The only question I have left for Margaret is: How did you get home?
Heather has a doozy of a first date story: “[He] Told me about his prison time. Kept showing me pics of his ex. Smiles and had rotten black teeth. He was 26.”
There’s a lot to unpack here. So many of these stories make you want to know more about these unfortunate date-goers. How do you meet these kind of people? Let’s just not even address the prison time and rotting teeth and jump straight to a more common issue: the ex. If you’re not ready to move on from your ex, just say no to a date. If all of your thoughts are still with that person, figure out how to move on before dragging another poor soul into your bubble.
Scott Sedore says, “I met a girl for a blind date once. She didn’t say a single word throughout dinner, finished her meal and walked out. I then checked my phone and there was a message from the girl saying she couldn’t make it tonight… Who the hell did I eat with?!”
Am I the only one who finds this mystery woman intriguing? Like, what an interesting person to just not say anything to a stranger eating dinner with her. And this poor guy is just thinking his date is extremely quiet. So many questions: Why didn’t that guy ask her more questions? Did he go out with the original, intended girl? And most importantly: Where is this silent mystery woman now?
“She spoiled the movie, barely ate dinner, turned Nickelback on the radio, murdered me in cold blood, and framed my best friend.”
I don’t know if I’m more impressed with the woman who got away with such a heinous crime or at the ghost who can manifest so strongly, they can tweet a murder mystery. Regardless, it’s obvious that the worst of the crimes committed here would be turning NIckelback on the radio.
Heather actually shows up twice on this list. Her dates are truly bad. I think she needs to start dating men from a different town: “[He] Picked me up in a car with no exhaust. Holes in his t-shirt. I had to pay because he lost his money gambling the night before.”
We’re starting to wonder if she really did go on a date with Joe Dirt. Also, this is just personal preference, but if I showed up and the date lost all of his money gambling, I would have just walked out. I don’t mind paying, but if all of their money is gone because of such a life-consuming habit, I know I’m wasting my time.
Linda Childers said, “In college, a friend set me up on a blind date. I wasn’t in a great mood because I had received a traffic ticket a few hours before. My day got worse when my blind date turned out to be the cop who gave me the ticket.”
Okay, so at first glance this is bad. But when you really think about it, this girl’s life reads just like a rom-com. Quirky life moment where you meet the guy that just made your life hell (in a very small way). It’s the ultimate potential for an enemies to lovers romance.
Catherine Adel West truly met a nightmare of a man: “I went to a fancy restaurant thinking I was looking quite cute. When I introduced myself at the bar, my date said, ‘I thought you’d be thinner.’ I grabbed his drink, poured it in his lap, and said, ‘I thought you’d be smarter.’ I left and ate pizza that night.
This is one of the most satisfying first date stories I’ve ever heard. Who doesn’t want to put a jerk like this in his place? No matter how you identify, you never have the right to make comments on people’s appearance. If you’re still living in the cold and shallow olden days where you’re trying to date someone based on your socially constructed ideas of what bodies and faces *should* look like, it’s time to re-evaluate.
Kelsey says, “He took me to a restaurant and went to the bathroom a lot. He stepped out often to take calls. I thought it was weird. And then the waiter said, ‘You know he’s at another table with a blond woman right?’ He had 2 first dates at once.”
This is a gross twist on the Mrs. Doubtfire dinner debacle. But instead of a lovable Robin Williams, it’s a chauvinistic pig! I would have loved to see the look on his face if both women walked out on him. But with somebody like that, unfortunately it’s unlikely he would learn any lesson from it.
At least this nightmare happened on a first date: “We stopped by his family’s barbecue on the way to our date and found out we were third cousins.”
I have a personal story to add to this terrifying scenario. My now-husband and I were planning our wedding and talking about inviting different people. His grandmother walks in and sees some of the guests and says: “That’s my cousin!” He and I look at each other in utter horror (because we have been dating for three years at this point and so you know what that means.) The rest of the day we beg his grandmother to investigate and make sure we aren’t blood relations. We couldn’t even look at each other for a few hours. She finally calls us at the end of the day and says, “I found out that was my adopted cousin by marriage.” But oh boy, what a day that was.
Jordan Cohen gives a tiny bit of dialogue on this awkward first date. “I was really into a guy. But I was so nervous. Well… This is our first conversation. Guy: ‘You smell good’ Me: ‘Thanks I use both of my nostrils.’ ” Well I guess Jordan wasn’t wrong.
I’m usually a sucker for puns, so I would have been delighted to hear this response. But I suppose it’s all about what you value in a date! If it’s humor you value, I think Jordan was a fantastic date. I wonder if they’re still together?
Maureen Fonda says, “On our first date, my husband choked on an omelet and blew an onion out of his nose. I married him anyway.”
I think it’s safe to say that if you see somebody shoot onions out of their nose, you’ve seen some of their worst moments. Some people would be mortified if this happened to them on a date. But on the bright side, if that person sticks around and laughs about something like that, I’d say they’re a keeper.
“I had just been diagnosed with an ulcer and was put on medicine to clear my stomach. Farted and burped the whole time. I was so embarrassed. He still married me.”
Once again, if somebody looks past a stinky situation like this one, it’s pretty safe to say that they’re a good one to have around. On a first date, getting through that stuff doesn’t seem like a big deal. But life is filled with embarrassing and less-than-lovely moments. So it helps to have somebody that doesn’t run from normal bodily functions.
Jon Sosis not only had the most nightmarish first date, but also one of the worst scenarios in general. “Hit her with my car. Enough said”.
But…How? We are just needing a little information. We need to know if she was a pedestrian or in her car, we need to know if she’s okay, etc. I’m not even concerned about your date at this point. I’m concerned about the lack of information you have given us on the state of this woman.
Maite Lombard “The guy accidentally texted me instead of his mate about how the date was going, saying he regretted asking me out. We both checked our phones at the same time. There was an awkward silence for the rest of the ride.”
Oh wow. I think that this one gives us all anxiety. Because we’ve all been there- in an awkward situation where you need to let a friend in on the drama. And sometimes you get this moment of terror that you’ve texted the wrong person. And this brings those nightmares to life.
Ben Kaplan reminisces on this particular smelly date: “I once took a girl to a local pizza place for our first date. She proceeded to cover her slice of pizza in garlic powder. She looked at me and said, ‘This is just in case you were planning on kissing me later.'” Yikes.
I can’t tell if that was a weird joke or a warning. But I would’ve been a bit nervous if I was Ben. Normally, I wouldn’t advise you to watch what you eat on a date. But threatening somebody with garlic breath might not be the best way to go in a fist date scenario.
Clair Sands tells this story of a night she will probably remember for the rest of her life. “Met a guy from Tinder and we ended the night at his ex-wife’s house. I drunkenly helped her pick out a wedding dress for her upcoming marriage to someone else.”
At least she was nice about it. Life happens, and people get divorced all the time. They still deserve to find love again. However, if you’re on a first date, there is absolutely no reason to drag them into your past relationship on the first day you’ve met the person!
“First date in high school. We were out to dinner and I kept on feeling something funny in my sweater. My date commented on my fidgeting, and I was completely shocked as I reached up my sleeve to pull out a pair of my mom’s panties! Now I do my own laundry.”
In the first half of the story I was expecting a spider or mouse to jump out. The only thing worse than that scenario is pulling out another woman’s (or your mom’s) underwear. I bet he would have preferred a spider in that moment. I think separating laundry is going to be on all of our minds now.
Will Alderson tells a story that’s a lot of men’s worst nightmare. “One time, I took a girl to the movies. During the movie, she kept looking at the person behind her. Turns out, her dad was sitting behind us the ENTIRE time.”
I have so many questions. Did the dad know they were going to be there? Or was it a coincidence? We have no idea how old this person was when they went on this date, though. If they were 13 year old middle schoolers, maybe the father felt more comfortable chaperoning his daughter. However, the fact that the girl kept turning around made it blatantly obvious what was going on.
“My first date, and my first time at a sushi place, I decided to order 13 rolls…I thought rolls meant individual pieces of sushi. Let’s just say I was embarrassed when we had to have two tables pushed together just to hold them all.”
This is a feast unparalleled by any other. If I was her date, I would have fallen in love immediately. Of course, you’re going to probably have a lot of carry out bags. Not to mention, an exorbitant bill at the end of the night. Let’s hope both of you came prepared.
“Tried to be an independent woman by walking quickly ahead of him and getting into a car parked out front before he could open the door for me. He knocked on the window and yelled through the glass, ‘This isn’t my car!'”
This sounds like something I would do, honestly. Even without a date. Hopefully the car owners weren’t there to witness this embarrassing mistake. I also hope that this was a fantastic story they still laugh about today.
“On my first date with my now wife, she walked into the restaurant and proceeded to walk around the whole place, because she had forgotten what I looked like. I eventually waved her down after letting her walk and look around for 5 minutes.”
Wow, that’s hilarious and evil. And now that she’s married to him, I’m sure this story gets brought up pretty regularly. I guess that’s a cautionary tale about meeting somebody online: make sure you study their face well before you show up. I’m happy that it ended in love for these two though.
8. Not Many First Date Stories Lead to a Trip to the ER
“Stubbed my toe walking into the bar to meet him. Had to leave once I realized my shoe had filled with blood. After I couldn’t get the bleeding to stop I spent 8 hours in the ER for a broken toe that needed 10 stitches. Still got a second date though.”
Wow, that’s commitment to a date if you didn’t notice an injury that badly. I’m also wondering how you could quickly stub a toe that badly walking into a bar? Regardless, it sounds like the date was nice – did they get a third?
A Twitter user called ActuallyJaneWay says, “Met this guy online. We met at Starbucks. He was 10 minutes late, awkwardly paid for my coffee, and I had to coax him into a conversation. We talked about science and religion and humanity. And he said, ‘I wasn’t expecting you to be intelligent!'”
Yikes. This is an awful stereotype that women have to experience all the time. Men assume that just because a woman is pretty, she couldn’t possibly be smart too. Because someone caring about your appearance and stupidity go hand-in-hand? I don’t think so. I’ve been there, Jane Way. I’ve been there.
Kalara Cee says, “He put his phone down on the table and it was covered in tape. When I asked why his phone is taped up, he said because the government is always listening.”
Technically, this is actually true. And there have been a lot of discussion recently about how apps will monitor your activity, and how the government actually can listen in. However, that’s just a choice you need to make when you buy a smart phone. For example, I really genuinely don’t care if the FBI knows that I’m buying cat food at Dollar General. As long as I’m not breaking the law, I’m not worried about it. Wrapping your phone in duct tape isn’t actually going to help much. Maybe he could switch to a flip phone instead.
“I once showed up to a date, 10 of her friends were with her and they had no idea I was coming. She was blackout wasted and introduced me as ‘Tom’. When I corrected her, she said, ‘Oh yeah. Tom is tomorrow night.'”
Yikes. There’s a lot going on here. Some people go on dating apps, and decide it’s a good idea to date multiple people at once. This is an example of how it can backfire. Plus, she shouldn’t have met someone for the first time in a group while blackout drunk, obviously.
This next story comes from a guy named Mike who goes by HiloMikey on Twitter. “I went out with my now wife of twenty one years on a first date. Went to kiss her goodnight, and elbowed her right in the face. She still took my calls after that.” OUCH!
Clearly, that must have been a memorable night. A situation like this could have gone horribly wrong. Depending on how he reacted, Mike’s wife may have never called him back for a second date.
This story by Chelsea Thrash is bad on so many levels. “Was out on a date with a guy who said he had no money. He borrowed $10 to buy a drink at a convenience store. Came back with a scratch-off, won $60 and took me home since I wouldn’t go to the strip club with “his winnings”.
First of all… Who shows up to a date without money? Secondly, if he borrowed her money and used it for the ticket, wouldn’t the polite thing be to split the winnings? Clearly, this dude had some issues, and she was better off letting him keep the money if it meant never seeing him again.
This next story is hilarious, and very cute. Robert Taylor said, “As we were saying goodbye, she thanked me for taking her to the movies. And I said something like, ‘yeah, I didn’t have anything else to do.’ Next month will be our 3rd wedding anniversary.”
What I love about it is that sometimes, you can make a mistake or say something awkward. Or maybe your comment may accidently sound indifferent. (Maybe it was sarcasm, too.) It’s not always the end of the world. As long as the majority of the date went really well, and you genuinely liked each other, it should be fine.