Uninhabitable Conditions New Yorkers Will Actually Pay Thousands to Live In

Trista - November 14, 2022
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This is fine.

Living in New York City in a super small studio apartment is that you need to use every single inch of space that you can. If it means having a bed in the middle of the kitchen, then so be it. I imagine it is going to be challenging for a sleepwalker sleeping on top of the bunk bed, falling on top of the grill on the counter, and ending up like Michael Scott from the Office with a burnt foot. So, whatever you do, do not leave the grill on to wake up with the smell of bacon. It’s just a small price to pay if you want to brag about living in the heart of New York City. The good news is this apartment includes a microwave, and it looks fine!

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A hippie’s dream apartment.

Just by looking at this picture, I can smell the patchouli in the air. You will never know by looking at this picture that this is a New York apartment. Maybe it’s in a basement somewhere were a dozen hippies locked themselves in the 60s and survived by sheer luck. The curtains look like they are holding on for dear life by a pipe that is ready to burst and drown everyone in that apartment. Even if it seems like this is a bigger place than other apartments on this list, it still gives me some funky vibes that are not worth it. That bear in the sofa has seen some horrific things in its time there and wishes to be thrown in a washing machine before being put at a side street corner for anyone to adopt it. 

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Sharing is caring for the environment.

For just $1,650 per month… You can have the privilege of having an apartment with a mini fridge, heater, and toilet to share with all your neighbors. Hey, I don’t mind sharing. However, the toilet is in a room so small that you can barely open the door. If you have space to stretch your legs, that’s when it crosses the line. It does look clean, though, compared to other apartments on this list. Nevertheless, knowing that you cannot take your time to review your thoughts while going potty. Why? Because there might be a line of neighbors waiting outside, it’s a big no-no. What’s more concerning is that I don’t see a shower, not even hiding in the kitchen, so my guess is that you can use the sink to get yourself clean. At least that’s something?

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So, so close!

If you saw the TV show Friends, this picture reminds me of that scene where Joey is singing with his next-door neighbor, and I always thought the closeness felt a bit fake. Then I guess this picture confirms that it’s actually just like that for many New Yorkers. You see all those apartments so close together. It feels a bit claustrophobic knowing that there’s barely any space between those buildings. If you think your loud music might annoy your upstairs neighbor, wait until you get a knock on your window from the building neighbor telling you to put on your headphones instead. No one needs to listen to Taylor Swift at 3 am, Becky. It’s time to stop the nonsense and get over that, man! 

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Have an open mic live from your bed!

For any aspiring comedians out there, this might be your dream apartment! Imagine waking up with that brick wall ready for your set. It even includes a green screen in case you want to edit an audience for the Netflix special. It’s so convenient to have everything ready for you. Having a brick wall over a brick wall is interesting, to say the least. If that contractor doesn’t have at least a dozen awards for the work done in this tiny apartment, it’s because the contractor that installs toilets and showers in the kitchen stole them. Paying $950 a month for this is worth it. You can create a zoom call comedy hour and entertain all the people that are still working from home. It’s all about having accommodations to succeed in New York City, and this apartment has them, even if it doesn’t have a kitchen or bathroom. 

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It has Final Destination vibes.

Everyone knows already that if you live in New York City, having space is unnecessary to live comfortably. You either have space and stay broke or have no space and be at the edge of having a horrific death in your tiny kitchen. You cannot have it both ways. If you want to avoid that, then you will need to choose to either bake or do your dishes. You cannot multitask and do both things at the same time. Heck, you are lucky that you can at least open the oven without hitting a toilet, but you will still need to basically put the turkey sideways to get it in. At least when you need to use the dishwasher, you will have enough space to get all the dirty dishes in. The only problem is that the sink is in front of the stove. That is the reason why you cannot do two things at the same time. I guess it will teach you to prioritize?

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Tiny kitchen level 9000!

Finding creative ways when living in an apartment the size of a Happy Meal is a real struggle. However, when you find a place that actually makes an effort to at least be livable in some way, it’s an achievement. Here we have two examples of an extremely small kitchen that includes a tiny fridge, stove, and sink in one little place. It’s a really neat solution when you need space. The biggest crime in all this is in the first picture: that empty space between the all-in-one kitchen and the wall. Why didn’t they make that kitchen bigger to fill that space? Those few inches are enough to at least separate the sink from the stove to have a small counter to set a spoon and plate. The good news is that at least cleaning the kitchen will be extremely fast and easy. No more spending an hour washing dishes and cleaning the stove. 

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The most creative contractors in the business are in NYC.

Seriously, what is up with combining a kitchen with a bathroom? It makes more sense to make a bathroom in the bedroom (if there are at least a few inches to make one). But nope! They want you to pee in the same place your kitchen is. The only thing that makes logical sense is that since both need access to hot water pipes, it’s easier to install them in the same place. Even if that’s the reason, it is so bizarre seeing so many apartments like that. This one, in particular, is in Manhattan. That means it’s an expensive place to live in, and not everyone can afford $2,700 rent per month. Then again, this is one of the biggest apartments we have seen so far on this list, and at least it seems like some maintenance has been done to make it look modern. Use that air fryer while you shower, and forget about walking those extra steps to get it all done.

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Definitely, a single guy lives in that room.

There is so much going on in this picture that I don’t know where to start. The chunky bed frame looks like someone bought wood at their hardware store without not knowing what they were doing and ended up looking suspiciously thick. Those thin shelves that I’m sure the only thing they hold is dust and pet dander. The cream-colored cloth is a divider that has never seen an iron in its life. Somehow it is hanging perfectly from the ceiling. And obviously, the empty bottles giving this the college dorm vibes, all for $450 a month, is actually not that bad. This is supposed to be a “semi-private” apartment; my guess is that the “semi” is because of the hanging cloth, which means this room is bigger than shown and has been divided to make two “apartments.” So, you will have to share the rest of the home with a few roommates, no big deal, really, especially if you are a college student trying to survive in the big city. 

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There is something very suspicious here…

Listen, when someone is on a budget, they will get creative very fast and find solutions for small problems. Introducing the door stopper-nob. This nob can be your hero, but it can also be your biggest enemy if you are one of those people that is always hitting your toe with a doorstopper. That’s going to be a new kind of pain that your feet will not enjoy. I do have to admit, when I saw the picture, I was so confused thinking, how is that door practical, or how would you open it? It took you a few seconds to realize that my brain was playing tricks on me. However, the contractor or whoever thought this was a great idea. I will give them an A- because I’m feeling generous and for creativity, because that is something that will confuse a few people if they ever get to visit that apartment. 

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Here’s to your childhood fantasy of sleeping in bunk beds with your friend.

Let us ignore that this picture was taken with a dirty potato that was just taken out of the ground in Idaho and brought to New York to take this picture and talk about what is going on. This is an apartment in Lefferts Gardens in Brooklyn. They are charging for the two bunk beds $500 and $600 with electricity included. It’s too blurry to see what else is in that room. However, I think this is one of those semi-private apartments where they took a house and divided it into multiple apartments, but you will need to share the kitchen and bathroom with the rest of the complex. Especially for that price because that is a nice neighborhood in Brooklyn to be that “cheap.”

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A slice of heaven for only $700 per month.

This photo might seem very confusing. However, what you are looking at is a 7-foot long and 5-foot wide “apartment” that only has enough space to fit a small bed. And some space to put on your shoes. I’m not sure in what part of New York this is, but you are basically paying to have wood floors and decent walls. Why? Because you won’t have space for anything else in there. Your stuff will either have to be put in boxes underneath your bed or hanging from the ceiling. Getting out of bed is going to be interesting. You just have to take one step, and you’re out of the apartment. I wouldn’t be surprised if this is in the Guinness Book of Records for being the tiniest apartment in New York. But you need to be realistic here, this is better than sleeping in the subway. However, it is more expensive than sleeping in the subway. 

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It is like living in a college dorm but smaller.

Here’s how you make the best out of a small space apartment in New York City. This is Axel Webber, and he claims to live in the smallest apartment in NYC (which, judging by the rest of the apartments in this list, is completely wrong), but as you can see, he has almost everything he needs in one tiny space. A decent-sized refrigerator, microwave, a place to put his groceries and plate, a sink, bunk beds, and a closet area. It looks messy since there’s barely any space left, but at least his essentials are there. This seems like another “you need to share your bathroom” situation, which I hope is not as bad as one in a college dorm. 

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Surprisingly the nicest apartment on this list.

I think if Cait has actually seen the pictures that are on this list, I don’t think she’ll be so outraged about having a washing machine in the kitchen. All things considered; this is a really nice kitchen that looks spacious. It doesn’t have a shower or toilet close to it. You can freely open the oven and not hit a wall, have a good size fridge and cabinets to put as much dinnerware and kitchenware as you want. If they are going to rent that kitchen separately, they can easily charge $3,000 for all that space. For being the only apartment we have seen with a washing machine, it deserves to be number one. 

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