Uninhabitable Conditions New Yorkers Will Actually Pay Thousands to Live In

Trista - November 14, 2022
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Well, would you look at that view!

I know of people that choose their new home depending on what they will look at as soon as they open their eyes. It’s more like a luxury thing to have than something practical that you need. Still, it would be nice to have a wonderful view of one of the most famous cities in the world, right? Well, leave it to New York to give you the most gorgeous view of an old brick wall. Everything about this apartment offends me. Who had the amazing idea of putting up a window that doesn’t do anything, you cannot open it to get a nice breeze and smell car emissions, and you cannot see anything. We don’t know how much the rent is, but I can guarantee you it is over $2,000 without amenities. Just looking at it makes me wanna scream like a New York taxi driver stuck in the Thanksgiving parade.   

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The living room is slippery when wet.

If you thought that having your in-laws visit your home caused you anxiety, wait until you live in a place that has a shower in the living room. Imagine trying to have a nice relaxing warm shower. All of a sudden, you hear a lot of people talking close to you and then find them having a book club session right outside the shower. It sounds like a nightmare. However, you also need to look closely at the picture to realize that the kitchen is also close by. You can start cooking, take a few steps, and get in the shower. Get out when you smell your fried eggs and bacon and burning to a crisp. I am being sarcastic! It’s so convenient but also dangerous in so many ways. What’s worse is knowing that you’ll have to pay $2,000 at the end of the month, and you will need to do the dishes in the shower and maybe keep a cooler next to the toilet for your groceries. How about that?

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My apologies if your food is wet.

If you thought that having a shower in the living room was bad, wait until you see this beauty. A shower in the middle of the kitchen right next to the refrigerator is a great idea. If you are thirsty or in need of a snack, all you have to do is stretch your arm and get it. At least the shower seems spacious, but it does need a curtain, or else it’s going to be very challenging and slippery to navigate that kitchen. The good thing about this 2-in-1 situation is that if you are the type of person that likes to multitask, you are in luck. You can prepare breakfast, shower, and then maybe eat it while showering. Just an idea. Not saying that you should do it, but it’s out there in case you want to take it. I do not recommend drinking your coffee in the shower, though, it’s going to get watered down.

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So, what does $800 get me?

If you guessed a small hall with a heater and a window, you guessed right! Get yourself the luxury of a tiny home in a rat-infested place that at least has some type of view that is not a brick wall. If you are a petite person, you are in luck because you can only fit a kid’s bed and maybe a plant so that you don’t feel lonely. You don’t need to wonder what it felt like living in the cubby under the stairs as Harry Potter did. You can try it yourself and wait to see if you get a letter from Hogwarts. Not sure you can put much in there, though. Just by leaving a can and a bottle in there, someone might call you a hoarder. At least it has Wi-Fi and enough cables to make a tiny LAN Party like in the good ol’ days. 

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There is always a solution for everything.

Having roommates can be fun. If you are one of those people that likes having someone around, it works. That goes double if it’s your best friend. But now and then, you will crave to have privacy and not have someone staring at you all the time. If you live in NYC, then that means your apartment is the size of a shoe box, so getting your alone time might be challenging. This is when you need to be creative, and these roomies found a great solution to have their bedrooms without spending big bucks on them and keep them modern. It took me a while to realize that the wall of Ramen was a pool floaty because it looked so delicious, but also it looked like wallpaper. Sure, it’s not soundproof but at least it’ll give you a sense of independence that might help you score with your date.

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Trapped in a closet.

Just looking at that picture is giving me college dorms flashbacks or “I live in my parent’s tiny basement” vibes. Well, I was wrong. This is a closet that was turned into an “apartment,” if you can even call it that. And to make matters even more shocking, the rent is $800 a month. It’s a steal if it includes water and electricity. This is just a place to sleep and pray that all the shoes and clothes don’t fall on you while you’re sleeping. I guess that the owner of this “apartment” is the parent or guardian of the person staying there, and the monthly fee is just a way to force him to move out and let them have the empty nest syndrome and an empty closet to put all their memorabilia. 

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You know what? It’s not that bad.

Compared to the other entries in this list, this one is fine. It has the right space for a bed, it has a counter to put at least a bottle of water and some snacks. It’s in Manhattan, so you are in a good area to go out and about. This NY pad might not have a bathroom, but I guess you can clean yourself up in a convenience store bathroom and live the life of a homeless person that also has a place to sleep. It has a sink, so maybe you can use that to freshen up, and in case of emergency, it can be used for number one, but that’s it. When you’re paying $1,400 a month for that small space, you are basically paying for the location and that wonderful view from the only window in your tiny room.  

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“I know you are cooking, but I need to use the toilet.”

I know they are trying to be funny with the caption, but that is not an exaggeration, and the picture is legit. They are lucky to have a bathtub and toilet because some of them do not even have a sink. So, it might be a bit crummy, especially if you leave with other people. You might have to let them know not to cross the kitchen because you are pooping, but it’s the price to pay to have those types of amenities in a tiny NYC apartment. There are some precautions to have, like making sure no one is in the kitchen in their “business” when you go pick up a midnight snack or splashing and playing with your rubber ducky while someone is frying chicken, which can be a catastrophe and a hazard. Believe me. There are worse things than having to poop and do the dishes at the same time.

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What is up with bathtubs in the kitchen?

It seems like owners in New York City have a thing with putting bathtubs, showers, and toilets in the kitchen. But since normal people are not used to having that sort of thing in the place where they make their food, apartment owners in NYC are trying creative ways to persuade people not to look too closely at the pictures. In this particular case, it actually works. I didn’t notice the tub until I read the caption and realized that the table and chairs were fake. Whoever did it had experience doing this sort of thing because, for a moment, it actually looks legit. Judging by this picture, it seems like this apartment is bigger than the other ones we have seen, so it makes little sense why the contractor thought it was a nice idea to have the tub in front of the fridge and stove. 

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Logic has left the building.

I want to meet the contractor that thought this was ok. You need to have a twisted mind, for sure. There are a few things I would tolerate if I ever moved to a tiny apartment in New York City; I will do my thing on a toilet in the living room, sleep with a fridge on top of my head, it doesn’t matter. But no one, I mean no one, will ever convince me to touch the inner switch to turn on the lights. Maybe there’s nothing in that dark cavern, but there’s no way. I would use a candle to light up my room instead of getting my hand in there. You will need a stick available if you want to turn on and off the lights for sure. And what’s even better is, I’m sure that apartment is at least $2,000 a month.

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Let your reflection be your roommate.

For $600, you can stay in this spacious corridor with a spectacular view of the streets of New York and admire your beauty in the mirror at the same time. Who needs a bed when you can sleep in the world’s thinnest futon that leaves enough space, so you don’t have to jump out of “bed” to get to the exit? There’s no reason why you need a bigger room than that to live comfortably. Some will say that in other countries, they embraced the tiny living conditions and they live happily there. Maybe that’s what these small apartments need, a makeover with a bunch of moving parts to that you can transform your space into whatever you need. But for real, can they not hang the mirror on the wall to make more space for a house plant? 

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Someone definitely died in there.

This is supposed to be an “artist loft,” but it looks more like an Al Capone’s henchman hideout. It doesn’t look too bad, except for all the piping and cruddy paint job. It definitely needs a big makeover to look at least decent enough to be rented as a studio apartment without thinking it’s haunted by 1900’s New York ghosts which gives me the impression they won’t shut up at night. Maybe the owner can make an attraction out of it with all these ideas and transform it into a haunted bed and breakfast that does not include breakfast. Why? Because I don’t think this place has a kitchen, bathroom, or both in the same place. There’s potential here. It just needs rebranding so that it can sell and be something people will fight to stay in. 

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This is fine.

Living in New York City in a super small studio apartment is that you need to use every single inch of space that you can. If it means having a bed in the middle of the kitchen, then so be it. I imagine it is going to be challenging for a sleepwalker sleeping on top of the bunk bed, falling on top of the grill on the counter, and ending up like Michael Scott from the Office with a burnt foot. So, whatever you do, do not leave the grill on to wake up with the smell of bacon. It’s just a small price to pay if you want to brag about living in the heart of New York City. The good news is this apartment includes a microwave, and it looks fine!

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A hippie’s dream apartment.

Just by looking at this picture, I can smell the patchouli in the air. You will never know by looking at this picture that this is a New York apartment. Maybe it’s in a basement somewhere were a dozen hippies locked themselves in the 60s and survived by sheer luck. The curtains look like they are holding on for dear life by a pipe that is ready to burst and drown everyone in that apartment. Even if it seems like this is a bigger place than other apartments on this list, it still gives me some funky vibes that are not worth it. That bear in the sofa has seen some horrific things in its time there and wishes to be thrown in a washing machine before being put at a side street corner for anyone to adopt it. 

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Sharing is caring for the environment.

For just $1,650 per month… You can have the privilege of having an apartment with a mini fridge, heater, and toilet to share with all your neighbors. Hey, I don’t mind sharing. However, the toilet is in a room so small that you can barely open the door. If you have space to stretch your legs, that’s when it crosses the line. It does look clean, though, compared to other apartments on this list. Nevertheless, knowing that you cannot take your time to review your thoughts while going potty. Why? Because there might be a line of neighbors waiting outside, it’s a big no-no. What’s more concerning is that I don’t see a shower, not even hiding in the kitchen, so my guess is that you can use the sink to get yourself clean. At least that’s something?

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So, so close!

If you saw the TV show Friends, this picture reminds me of that scene where Joey is singing with his next-door neighbor, and I always thought the closeness felt a bit fake. Then I guess this picture confirms that it’s actually just like that for many New Yorkers. You see all those apartments so close together. It feels a bit claustrophobic knowing that there’s barely any space between those buildings. If you think your loud music might annoy your upstairs neighbor, wait until you get a knock on your window from the building neighbor telling you to put on your headphones instead. No one needs to listen to Taylor Swift at 3 am, Becky. It’s time to stop the nonsense and get over that, man! 

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Have an open mic live from your bed!

For any aspiring comedians out there, this might be your dream apartment! Imagine waking up with that brick wall ready for your set. It even includes a green screen in case you want to edit an audience for the Netflix special. It’s so convenient to have everything ready for you. Having a brick wall over a brick wall is interesting, to say the least. If that contractor doesn’t have at least a dozen awards for the work done in this tiny apartment, it’s because the contractor that installs toilets and showers in the kitchen stole them. Paying $950 a month for this is worth it. You can create a zoom call comedy hour and entertain all the people that are still working from home. It’s all about having accommodations to succeed in New York City, and this apartment has them, even if it doesn’t have a kitchen or bathroom. 

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It has Final Destination vibes.

Everyone knows already that if you live in New York City, having space is unnecessary to live comfortably. You either have space and stay broke or have no space and be at the edge of having a horrific death in your tiny kitchen. You cannot have it both ways. If you want to avoid that, then you will need to choose to either bake or do your dishes. You cannot multitask and do both things at the same time. Heck, you are lucky that you can at least open the oven without hitting a toilet, but you will still need to basically put the turkey sideways to get it in. At least when you need to use the dishwasher, you will have enough space to get all the dirty dishes in. The only problem is that the sink is in front of the stove. That is the reason why you cannot do two things at the same time. I guess it will teach you to prioritize?

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Tiny kitchen level 9000!

Finding creative ways when living in an apartment the size of a Happy Meal is a real struggle. However, when you find a place that actually makes an effort to at least be livable in some way, it’s an achievement. Here we have two examples of an extremely small kitchen that includes a tiny fridge, stove, and sink in one little place. It’s a really neat solution when you need space. The biggest crime in all this is in the first picture: that empty space between the all-in-one kitchen and the wall. Why didn’t they make that kitchen bigger to fill that space? Those few inches are enough to at least separate the sink from the stove to have a small counter to set a spoon and plate. The good news is that at least cleaning the kitchen will be extremely fast and easy. No more spending an hour washing dishes and cleaning the stove. 

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The most creative contractors in the business are in NYC.

Seriously, what is up with combining a kitchen with a bathroom? It makes more sense to make a bathroom in the bedroom (if there are at least a few inches to make one). But nope! They want you to pee in the same place your kitchen is. The only thing that makes logical sense is that since both need access to hot water pipes, it’s easier to install them in the same place. Even if that’s the reason, it is so bizarre seeing so many apartments like that. This one, in particular, is in Manhattan. That means it’s an expensive place to live in, and not everyone can afford $2,700 rent per month. Then again, this is one of the biggest apartments we have seen so far on this list, and at least it seems like some maintenance has been done to make it look modern. Use that air fryer while you shower, and forget about walking those extra steps to get it all done.

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Definitely, a single guy lives in that room.

There is so much going on in this picture that I don’t know where to start. The chunky bed frame looks like someone bought wood at their hardware store without not knowing what they were doing and ended up looking suspiciously thick. Those thin shelves that I’m sure the only thing they hold is dust and pet dander. The cream-colored cloth is a divider that has never seen an iron in its life. Somehow it is hanging perfectly from the ceiling. And obviously, the empty bottles giving this the college dorm vibes, all for $450 a month, is actually not that bad. This is supposed to be a “semi-private” apartment; my guess is that the “semi” is because of the hanging cloth, which means this room is bigger than shown and has been divided to make two “apartments.” So, you will have to share the rest of the home with a few roommates, no big deal, really, especially if you are a college student trying to survive in the big city. 

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There is something very suspicious here…

Listen, when someone is on a budget, they will get creative very fast and find solutions for small problems. Introducing the door stopper-nob. This nob can be your hero, but it can also be your biggest enemy if you are one of those people that is always hitting your toe with a doorstopper. That’s going to be a new kind of pain that your feet will not enjoy. I do have to admit, when I saw the picture, I was so confused thinking, how is that door practical, or how would you open it? It took you a few seconds to realize that my brain was playing tricks on me. However, the contractor or whoever thought this was a great idea. I will give them an A- because I’m feeling generous and for creativity, because that is something that will confuse a few people if they ever get to visit that apartment. 

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Here’s to your childhood fantasy of sleeping in bunk beds with your friend.

Let us ignore that this picture was taken with a dirty potato that was just taken out of the ground in Idaho and brought to New York to take this picture and talk about what is going on. This is an apartment in Lefferts Gardens in Brooklyn. They are charging for the two bunk beds $500 and $600 with electricity included. It’s too blurry to see what else is in that room. However, I think this is one of those semi-private apartments where they took a house and divided it into multiple apartments, but you will need to share the kitchen and bathroom with the rest of the complex. Especially for that price because that is a nice neighborhood in Brooklyn to be that “cheap.”

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A slice of heaven for only $700 per month.

This photo might seem very confusing. However, what you are looking at is a 7-foot long and 5-foot wide “apartment” that only has enough space to fit a small bed. And some space to put on your shoes. I’m not sure in what part of New York this is, but you are basically paying to have wood floors and decent walls. Why? Because you won’t have space for anything else in there. Your stuff will either have to be put in boxes underneath your bed or hanging from the ceiling. Getting out of bed is going to be interesting. You just have to take one step, and you’re out of the apartment. I wouldn’t be surprised if this is in the Guinness Book of Records for being the tiniest apartment in New York. But you need to be realistic here, this is better than sleeping in the subway. However, it is more expensive than sleeping in the subway. 

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It is like living in a college dorm but smaller.

Here’s how you make the best out of a small space apartment in New York City. This is Axel Webber, and he claims to live in the smallest apartment in NYC (which, judging by the rest of the apartments in this list, is completely wrong), but as you can see, he has almost everything he needs in one tiny space. A decent-sized refrigerator, microwave, a place to put his groceries and plate, a sink, bunk beds, and a closet area. It looks messy since there’s barely any space left, but at least his essentials are there. This seems like another “you need to share your bathroom” situation, which I hope is not as bad as one in a college dorm. 

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Surprisingly the nicest apartment on this list.

I think if Cait has actually seen the pictures that are on this list, I don’t think she’ll be so outraged about having a washing machine in the kitchen. All things considered; this is a really nice kitchen that looks spacious. It doesn’t have a shower or toilet close to it. You can freely open the oven and not hit a wall, have a good size fridge and cabinets to put as much dinnerware and kitchenware as you want. If they are going to rent that kitchen separately, they can easily charge $3,000 for all that space. For being the only apartment we have seen with a washing machine, it deserves to be number one. 

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