Ridiculous Vintage Bridesmaids Dresses that Should Have Been Burned

Alli - November 12, 2021
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Straight from the Handmaid’s Tale. Bored Panda.

Blessed be the Fruit, Ladies

Nobody wants to look like they just got off the set of the Handmaid’s Tale. This dystopian story does not bode well for the women living in this twisted universe where male domination and female servitude are key. This hooded bridesmaid’s dress is definitely giving some creepy cult vibes though. And the pop up weird floral 70s print in red, white, and blue looks like the Handmaids are about to celebrate the Fourth of July. Of course, based on what we’ve learned about the history of the bridesmaids, they have been a sort of handmaiden to the bride to be. But let’s not overlook the groomsmen in this photo. Although somebody should have stopped the far right groomsman from wearing his hair like an early 2000s emo kid.

In some early traditions, the groomsmen were called Bride’s Knights, because they helped protect her—and her dowry, and her virginity—or because they assisted in her kidnapping. Given the likelihood that the bride’s family would attempt to retrieve her from her groom or get revenge—or that another suitor would try to take her, or she might try to escape—the best man stood right next to her at the wedding, at the ready with his weapon. Later, he was moved to the groom’s right side (possibly due to jealousy on the part of the groom). After the ceremony he stood guard outside the newlyweds’ bedroom or home.

Butterfly bridesmaids from the 90s. Bored Panda.

Runaway Members of a Renaissance Faire

This theme is very over the top. Is this theme the worst of what we’ve seen? No, at least it doesn’t look completely out of place. It’s gaudy and cringey for sure, but at least they’re doing it outside and not in front of drab brown curtains. Of course, while the bridesmaids are all costumed out, it seems as though the bride went with an extremely traditional choice. She almost looks like she’s about to walk into a church wedding. Which is definitely not the vibe you get from the butterfly gang. So the consistency is way off for this wedding party. It would be interesting to see if the male/groomsman side of the wedding party went with a similar fantasy theme or if they’re dressed traditionally. It’s anybody’s guess based on the bride’s attire.

The first bachelor parties occurred in ancient Sparta, around the 5th century B.C. These raucous parties were an occasion to toast and feast in the groom’s honor. These parties weren’t always wild debaucheries, but became more so in the 19th and 20th centuries. The term “bachelor” was not widely used, however, until the 14th century, when Geoffrey Chauncer used the word to refer to an unmarried man in his book The Canterbury Tales. Bachelor parties are also called stag parties or stag dos in other parts of the world.

Cult weddings are the best. Bored Panda.

Oh Good, More Creepy Cult Outfits

Why wouldn’t you want a wedding party that creeped out all of your guests? We love this haunting image more than any of the rest. Just because it’s so creepy and bad. If we were going by ancient tradition of confusing spirits or bandits as to who is the actual bride, this bridesmaids outfit would take the wedding cake. And it would throw off any would be perpetrators because if you approach them, you may be cursed for all eternity… Of course the decision for an all white wedding is actually regaining popularity nowadays. But it seems as though this is a trend that came in and out of historical weddings. So if you’re wondering if this had a certain story or tradition behind it, you’d be absolutely right. Just not the hoods.

In early Victorian times, tradition called for all-white weddings, so bridesmaids—who were supposed to be younger than the bride—wore white dresses with short veils, contrasting with the bride’s more ornate veil and train. By the 20th century, this had fallen out of favor, and the bride alone wore white to better stand out. But the Victorian bridesmaids had more responsibilities than that. Victorian bridesmaids were tasked with making party favors out of things like ribbons and flowers and pinning them onto the sleeves and shoulders of guests as they left the ceremony. Bridesmaids of the past also used to walk down the aisle with aromatic bunches of garlic, herbs, and grains to drive evil spirits away (and to help make things smell nice in times when hygiene was a bit different).

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