Delivery Drivers Reveal the Craziest Deliveries They’ll Never Forget

Trista - December 6, 2021

Delivery drivers are saviors, whether fast food such as pizza or something you bought during an online shopping spree. No matter the weather condition, they are out there making sure that everyone gets their package or food promptly. Most are working by themselves, so when they have a big box to deliver, it can be a bit difficult to move. And if there is more than one, and the weather is terrible, they may need to make several trips between your front door and their delivery truck.

Not all delivery drivers are paid a fair amount, especially those who deliver food from fast-food joints. So they rely a lot on tips they receive from customers. However, if they get someone who is cranky, not feeling generous, is short on cash, or just doesn’t believe in giving out tips for whatever reason, they may get left short-handed in the end. Not only that, but they also have to deal with some crazy and extraordinary situations. Whatever the reason for their unforgettable deliveries, these people have shared their stories with all of you.


23. They ‘bear-ly’ made that delivery.

“I used to deliver Edible Arrangements. One time I was at a house in your average northeastern suburban neighborhood. I went to the door with the arrangement but didn’t get an answer. The customer’s car pulls in the driveway, and so I hang up the phone and wave. As they roll down their window, I start to say, “Oh, hi! I have a delivery for you.” The customer said, “I don’t want to alarm you, but there’s a bear right behind you.” I turned around, and not three feet away was a young bear. (It was bigger than a cub, but not yet full-grown) The bear was just sniffing around their bushes. I didn’t know what to do, my legs just turned to jelly, and I froze,” shares WinnifredThadeousPoo.

“So I said to the customer, “What do I do?” She looked at me like I’m crazy and goes “GET IN THE CAR.” In my nervous state, I slam the already-open passenger door and run all the way around. I get in the driver’s seat and lock the doors. The side door to the refrigerated side of my truck was still open. At least I was separated from the bear. The bear didn’t notice me until I slammed the door shut. However, all he did was wander up to the side door and sniff the beautiful fruit arrangements in my truck. He hung out for a few minutes until the customer finally had enough and laid down on their horn until he took off running down the street. There were a few other interesting deliveries from that job, but none turned my legs to jelly-like that bear.”


22. When your kid tells the delivery driver about personal issues.

“I used to deliver pizzas. This one order was to a nice house in an OK part of town. I ring the doorbell and wait patiently for the door to open. When it does, I’m greeted by a lady and her young son. She’s clearly been crying but is doing a good job of holding them back. I don’t acknowledge it. It’s none of my business, and she’s clearly not looking for solace from the pizza guy. I remind her what the pizzas cost, and she hands me some cash. Standard stuff. As I’m digging around in my bag for change, the kid pipes up: ‘I have to tell you something.'”

ChargeYourBattery goes on to say, “‘What’s that?’ I say, half-listening as I try to work out how much change to give back. “My Dad’s not coming home.” Oh dang. “I’m sorry to hear that,” I tell him. I stare at my bag as I pull out the last of the change, trying to avoid looking at either of them as I hand it back with the pizzas. As I leave, habits formed over a thousand deliveries almost make me tell them to have a good night. However, I catch myself enough to say “enjoy the pizza” instead. Judging his mum, the parents would have broken up some time that day. I’m guessing I’m probably the first person that kid told.”


21. This delivery driver was sticking to his job only, but it cost him in the end.

“This literally just happened to me 30 minutes ago on a delivery. I’m an ice delivery driver. Some big box stores like for us to not only deliver the ice, but also to stock the front of the store, which is a large insurance risk for us. So as my helper and I are dragging a pallet to the front, accompanied by a store employee, we all notice a foul smell. Let’s just say it’s a store not exactly known for the most cleanly of people. Before we can get to the front, a second employee runs up to us in a panic, yelling, ‘There’s crap. There’s crap everywhere.'”

Going on with their story, reddit_rump_rush says, “Behind him is a literal trail of smears — someone had pooped down their leg and dragged it probably 50 yards all over the store. They had one employee attempting to clean it with a shop vac. Cleaning poop. With a shop vac. “Hey, nice guy, can you help us out here?” “Yeah, no freaking chance.” “Then I’m denying the delivery.” So here I am writing this out 30 minutes later, sitting in the store manager’s office explaining to him why the receiver denied a delivery.”


20. An ax killer is on the loose.

“My S.O. was delivering boxes of magazines to a small shop. It was really early, like 4 am. The shop not yet open, but he’d leave them around the back by the door. Rolls up, hops out of the van, grabs the box, and takes it to the spot. He walks back to the van, and there is now a man sitting in the driver’s seat. It was dark, and no one else was around. So he just yelled to him to get out of the van but didn’t approach. Next thing he knows, the guy is out and running at him with something large and shiny in his hands,” says MrsFlip.

“S.O. freaks out and runs. The guy chases him. S.O. doubled back around, jumped in the van, and took off right as the guy caught up and slammed the object into the windshield. It shattered but stayed in place, so he couldn’t see crap but just drove out of there anyway. Eventually pulled over when safe to find an ax was lodged in the window. It was a freaking full-sized ax. He was shaking too much to drive after that, so he flagged someone down to call the cops. They never found the guy.”


19. Who’s dog is this anyway?

“I pulled up to the house, and there was a large German shepherd in the yard (which was fenced in) going nuts, barking, and snapping at me. It takes me about 5 to 10 minutes of grappling with this dog to make it to the door, and it runs around the side of the house. So the folks open the door and pay for the food. But suddenly, the dog bursts around the corner of the yard. It slams past me and bolts into the house.”

DylanBob1991 continues, “He’s sprinting in circles, freaking out and knocking stuff over including a nice looking lamp that broke. The people there start losing their effing minds trying to stop the dog from turning the whole house into rubble. The one dude asks me, “why the heck would you bring your dog with you on a delivery?” Which was an absolutely bonkers question that let me know this was not their dog. I helped them get it out of the house, and they tipped me zero dollars.”


18. Ma’am, please wash your hands.

“I used to be a Domino’s driver. So, I showed up at a woman’s house, and her toddler opened the door. Mum is sitting on the toilet, door open, facing me in all her glory, taking a crap. She’s yelling at her toddler to ‘get mummies wallet from mummies purse,’ and this kid can’t be older than like two. Idk I can’t tell kids’ ages. So the kid, after like a good excruciating five minutes of yelling, manages to get mummies wallet from mummies purse. I feel like I can’t intervene and take the money out myself because the mum will think I’m stealing.”

“So we’re both trying to talk this kid through paying me. Mum is yelling at the poor girl to ‘get the orange note!’ and the kid pulls out her mum’s opal card instead of the $20. The kid starts crying. Mum is getting really agitated. It got to a point where I snapped and was like, ‘Look, lady, you’re gonna have to do this. So, I had to wait until she finished crapping. Then she gave me the money without washing her hands. A pretty memorable experience.”


17. When a delivery goes wrong. Part 1

“I was delivering medical supplies in Portland and the surrounding areas a couple of years ago. I thought it was going to be a normal day when I woke up. Nevertheless, I was very much mistaken. I still have flashbacks of what I witnessed. I start my route by driving to the warehouse and receiving my deliveries. So, I log in to the app on my phone and call dispatch so they can send me my route. Everything’s going swimmingly, no red alarms at all,” shares Harambehasfinalsay.

“I wrap everything up there and head out on the road. The first delivery is out in Seattle, so I head on over there as quickly as I’m allowed and listen to my favorite podcast while I’m at it. Time passes by, I’m getting close to my destination, and I’m rounding a corner that has a lot of vegetation and is basically one of those hills that you have to break the entire way down. This is where it all goes wrong.”


16. When a delivery goes wrong. Part 2

Harambehasfinalsay goes on to say, “A couple of older people start crossing the road while I’m on this super steep hill that spirals down, and I start braking more, but it just wasn’t enough. I hit a spot of ice, and my van went sideways, and well. They didn’t make it. They should not have been walking down that hill. But yea, I call the police and tell them everything that happened. They arrive and start taking witness reports and stuff. By this time, I’ve probably puked five times and have no idea what I’m facing here. Time passes. The cops come to me with a look on their faces.”

“I’m literally sure I’m going to jail. Number one: they left a suicide note on their table at the residential nursing home they lived at. They walked into my car together on purpose. Number two: the delivery was for the lady that passed away. That still bothers me. She planned it because she knew a van was going to be coming down a blind corner. She messed my mind up for a solid year, and I even moved back to Florida to go to counseling and crap. I literally have never told this story, but it felt really good to get it out of my head.”


15. This pregnant delivery driver was in a rough area.

TrailMomKat shares her delivery story. “When I was about six months pregnant with my first son, I delivered for Papa John’s in an area that was mostly not so great. Now, that area has the highest violent crime rate on average or something or other for our state, so that should tell you how bad it was about ten years ago before it got downright awful. Well, one neighborhood, in particular, was the worst of the worst, and usually, another driver would take it since I was pregnant, but that Friday night, we were short and super busy, so I did it without hesitation. Gotta eat after all, right? So, I get there, get out of my truck with the pizza, and get a really, REALLY bad feeling.”

“Quickly look around, and see a group of guys watching me. I put on my war face more or less, and stuck my big belly out a bit so it’d be way more obvious in the dark. One of them approached me and was like, “oh, you pregnant?” I just shrugged and said, “yeah… that definitely ain’t a basketball, dude.” He chuckled at that and walked back to his friends. I heard him say, “Naw, y’all, come on, she’s pregnant.” They all walked away, and the dude that I’d spoken to gave me a nod and smile, told me to take care. Found out later that one driver got brutally beaten in that lot. And if I hadn’t been pregnant, I might’ve suffered the same or worse. Glad that didn’t happen.”


14. Please tip your delivery drivers, especially if they rescue your dog!

“I worked at a mom-and-pop pizza store. I was called up for delivery, bagged the order, entered the address into my GPS, and set off. After about twelve minutes or so, I arrived. I walked up to the door, knocked, and was greeted by a woman and her daughter (probably around 10). So, I go through my spiel: “Hello, how are you? I have $Order, is that correct? Okay, the total is $Amount,” and begin handing her the food. She turns to her daughter and says to her, “Make sure the dog doesn’t…,” and can’t finish the sentence before the Yorkie goes tearing out the door. They start to panic (the street wasn’t busy, but it’s a small dog in a town where animals hit by traffic is a common sight, sadly). I try to calm them down, saying that I’d be happy to retrieve the dog.”

Tangoewhisky goes on with their story, saying, “They oblige, and after I hand them the rest of their order, I go after the dog. This thing decides it’s going to go running four houses down. The houses aren’t too spread out, but it’s still me chasing a dog in the middle of summer, wearing a black t-shirt in the dead of the afternoon. Anyway, I finally catch up to the dog, pick it up, and start carrying it back to the owners. I hand the dog back to them, get back to the business of them paying for the food, and I am rewarded with the princely sum of a $0.16 tip. You are reading that correctly. Sixteen cents for returning a Yorkie.”


13. When you are a delivery driver for years, you have some crazy stories.

“Delivered pizza from about the day I got my license all the way through the rest of high school, university, and then as extra income during my first full-time job. Now I’m back to deliveries (for Uber in Tokyo) as a side job after a 14-year hiatus. Back in about 1993, the guy was trying to punch his wife and missed and got me instead. I GTFOed kept the pizza for myself and called the cops once I got back to the store (this was before cell phones). I was delivering the night I turned 18. A 12-year-old kid and his buddies saw me bring a pizza into a building and were waiting for me pointing his jacket at me when I got out. “Give me everything. I have a gun!” “No, you don’t; that’s your finger!” (where was a 12-year-old kid in middle-class suburban Canada going to get a handgun?)” shares awh.

“Uh. Yeah… You’re right. It was just a joke!” The kid shouts over his shoulder as he and his buddies bolt. It was a snowy day in Canada, and some kids were hucking ice chunks at cars on the street and one hit mine. I threw a handbrake turn as I put the window down. “SORRY, SORRY!” they all shouted as they scattered. One “nice” story: My first winter was driving, and we had our first big storm. The store was open, and they expected us to come in and work because, of course, everyone was ordering pizza because of the storm. I had no real experience driving in the winter, so my Dad insisted on driving me around to all my deliveries. At the time, I was an annoyed and ungrateful 16-year-old kid, but looking back on it, it was the greatest da*n thing for him to do for his son.”


12. A mother-daughter duo was hell for this delivery driver. Part 1

“I occasionally pick up delivery routes at the supermarket I work at part-time, and the range of customers is crazy. The city has two universities (loads of students) and a butt-load of elderly and highly self-entitled (not mutually exclusive) customers. The system we use for deliveries shows us “Customer Comments” right before each delivery. It usually consists of instructions like “there is a lift to the right as you enter.” Additionally, we are a fairly small branch. So the comparatively smaller line we stock is upfront to customers before they order. If you don’t want items to be substituted if unavailable, you mark it as so when ordering (not a hidden button).” says omza.

“The other week, this lady had put a note to give her a call 45 minutes before I arrived… as if she was the only customer to whom I was delivering. The note went on to tell me “not to even bother bringing any substitutions as she does not want them.” I immediately knew this was going to be an issue, as I could see there were about 6/7 crates for this customer. I was only a 10-minute drive away. I called and apologized that I couldn’t do so sooner. She said it was fine and that she would be waiting outside to meet me, describing how I could identify her as “the two unmistakable ladies.” A mother placed the order for the daughter at uni.”


11. A mother-daughter duo was hell for this delivery driver. Part 2

Omza goes on with their story. “Without any cue, the daughter began going through the crates removing items saying, “not this, not this; that isn’t organic. This is cruel, that has oil in it, and definitely not that. Omg, why did you order those?!” like an ungrateful little something. She also berated her mother for not ordering certain things. Then, she got stroppy when she didn’t find certain other items right away. The mother said, “oh, I’m sure the man will be able to get you this” as if I had the entire stock of the shop in the back of my van. When I explained I couldn’t do this, she began pointing at other crates. She said, “but you have this there?!” It was a different customer’s order. The mother begins to tell me how she is not an online shopper. Her daughter has a very strict, doctor-ordered diet; whether she did or didn’t isn’t really my concern, but it certainly came across as the daughter had other reasons.”

“Again, it’s not my concern, but she shouldn’t have gotten her mother to order and perhaps should have shopped from somewhere which catered to her needs more. When I also explained that I couldn’t just give her other items from the van, she said, “but every other time I’ve ordered, they’ve done so-and-so?!” First order, sure… The real part that ticked me off is how the daughter had pulled things from the crates; on my system, I have to find each item individually from each crate number and then manually remove them. This means I have to know which crate they were in originally since usually, only one or two items get sent back. Many of the items were fresh as well (from the meat/fish-counters). Anyway, they got impatient, angry, and unreasonable, and I was late to all the remainder of my drops.”


10. A fun day with Mr. L pays off for this delivery driver.

“I briefly worked for Jimmy John’s as a delivery driver during college. I was delivering about $40 bucks worth of sandwiches to a nice neighborhood in the early afternoon and was pretty happy about my high probability of a good tip. As I suspected, I show up, and the house is a real beaut. I walked up and hit the bell only to hear some guy yell from somewhere in the house, “Oh heck yeah, boys, J.J.s is here!” My first thought was, how did some frat boys have a house this nice? This was near a mansion. I walk through the front door, and this entire house starts cheering. Dads fill the space. My mouth is hanging open as they proceed to escort me downstairs. When I get downstairs, it’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen – a man’s man cave,” shares DaedricDanny.

“They had a pool table, an f-ing BARTENDER, and EIGHT TVs all streaming different games of march madness. Before I can even say anything, they’ve handed me a shot to take with them. One of the dads says, “Here’s to you, brother!” I ended up hanging out for 40 minutes. They explained that they take a week off from their firms every year … so they don’t miss a second of the march madness. When I finally was able to leave, they were asking me to party. I was pretty sure I would get fired. I finally get back to my store expecting to get canned, only to find my manager slightly annoyed. He said to me, ‘So, you met Mr. L … He called and said you would be running late. That your dedication in the line of duty is commendable. He’s a pretty wild franchise owner.'”


9. You say Jimmy Johns, we say heck yeah!

“I spent a summer as a delivery driver for Jimmy Johns in a college town. There was a street where many of the houses were rented by fraternity and sorority members. They were passed down among the members from year to year. Needless to say, a lot of partying, and a lot of late-night J.J.’s, went down on this street. So one weeknight, around midnight, I’m delivering a Hunter’s Club and Turkey Tom to a house that, from the front, looks empty. I ring the doorbell, nothing. Knock on the door, give my “this ain’t the po-lice ‘Jimmy Johns delivery'” proclamation, still nothing. Try the doorbell again. Nada. Another knock, to no avail. After waiting for a minute or two in front of this dark, obviously unoccupied house, I decided to head back to the store.”

Ghettomedic continues to say, “As I turn to leave the porch, I hear the click of a gate latch from the side of the house. I walk over and see a very intoxicated young man. He is BUCK NAKED, walking down the driveway. He looks right at me, a smile comes over his face, and in a Spicoli-Esque burnout drawl, says ‘Jimmy Johns ………………. HECK YEAH,’ and saunters off down the driveway onto the sidewalk. Perplexed by this exchange and realizing the futility of requesting payment from a man with no pockets, I just got in my car and left. But to this day, anytime I hear anyone say ‘Jimmy Johns,’ I think back to my Mallette Street bro and say to myself, ‘HECK YEAH.'”


8. Making friends along the way.

“I do Uber. I like to work late nights, the party crowd, but I also have a habit of not stopping until 7 or 8 am. That means I get a lot of working girls between the hours of 3 and 5 am. I liked driving working girls cause they were very polite, they always tipped. I started to develop a trust with a few of them. Over 3-4 rides with me for about six weeks, this one particular girl got to know me. So one night, I picked her up, and she said, “I want you to drop me off in front of the room and wait 10 minutes. I’ll tip you $10. If I come out within 10 minutes as soon as I get in the car, just go somewhere.” I said, fine, I did as she told me to do.”

CohenIsF-d says, “I set a timer for 12 minutes. But not 5 minutes later she came into my car and said, “Yea no way that guy freaking creeps me out.” So we take off. And I’m like, where do you wanna go? Keep in mind it is like 5 am. She said, “Let me treat you to some waffle house.” I was hungry, so I agreed. She bought me my breakfast, and we chatted for a good while. I learned a lot about her. She came from an abusive home, ended up with a decent job but didn’t mind hooking up with guys for money, and it paid better than her regular job. She has dreams of opening up a beauty salon etc. Cool girl, interesting times. After we finished breakfast, I ended up taking her home at no charge. Before anyone says anything: no sex.”


7. A delivery with a dark sense of humor.

“As a veterinarian, I often take animals away after euthanasia, organize cremation, and then deliver the ashes back to the owners if I did the euthanasia at home. So, they don’t have to deal with a random stranger from the crematorium delivering the ashes back to them; they appreciate this. One Sunday, when I was off duty, I knew I was going to be in the area of a client whose pet’s ashes needed returning, so I was not in uniform. The ashes came in a plain white paper bag at the time with everything inside it. I rang the doorbell, waited, saw the curtain move, and someone peers out, and then nothing.”

OzzieBloke777 continues, “So I knocked on the door again, someone came again, looked longer, and then opened the door. They started with a jump and then apologized. “Sorry! I didn’t recognize you without your uniform and stethoscope. I thought you were a fast-food delivery guy.” Then, I looked at the bag in my hand and bit my tongue – hard. Why? Because I desperately wanted me to hand over the package saying: One Dog, Extra Crispy. Instead, I gave them the usual courtesies and drove home. However, I still wonder what would have happened if my mouth had run ahead of my brain.”


6. This delivery guy has his customers constantly calling the manager on him — sometimes good, sometimes bad.

“Not deliveries but worked as a driver for a non-profit organization picking up donations from homes. Mostly just a lot of old people. One lady tried to give me $50, but I told her I couldn’t take it. I could have really used it at the time. However, we are not allowed to accept tips, and I didn’t feel like losing my job. She wouldn’t let me go without something, so she gave me a glass of iced tea, and we chatted for a few minutes. Later I found out she called my boss to tell him how good of an employee I was, and I ended up getting a small raise. She donated stuff often just so someone would stop by her house and visit with her.” states FlavortownUniversity.

“Another old guy tried to hide from me for some reason after I rang his doorbell. He had a brand new SUV still with dealer plates pulled into his garage but not fully in. He tried to shut the garage door while I was walking back to my truck, and I guess the sensor things didn’t work because the door closed even with the SUV in the way, or at least it tried to close. The garage door caught the rear window wiper and bent it in half, and drug it down the rear door taking the paint off the whole way down. When the guy realized what was happening, he hurried to open the door back up. On the way up, it caught the bottom lip of the bumper and pulled the whole bumper off. He saw me laughing as I drove off, then called my boss and tried to blame it on me somehow.”


5. A sad delivery this driver will never forget.

“I once turned onto a dead-end street to find it blocked off by police, ambulances, even a couple of news vans. There was no way past and no other way to get to the house I was delivering to, so I just parked it and waited for them to clear out of the way. After several minutes I started wondering what the hold up was. I can kind of see through all the vehicles to the house where all the commotion was. I noticed a couple of paramedics loading up an empty gurney into their ambulance. The people standing around in the yard all looked distraught; it was a sight that still haunts me, just the looks on these people’s faces and their body language. I realized the house all of this was going on was the same house I was supposed to deliver to.”

Followthatmonkey goes on to say, “I thought ‘forget it, these people aren’t going to care about their pizza anymore,’ and left. Found out later from one of the waitresses I worked with that this was her aunt’s house. They had been having a little family party when one of the family members decided to leave for something. Pulling out of the driveway, they didn’t notice the family’s 2-year-old daughter playing in the driveway. It happened maybe 15 minutes before I got there. Oh, and the gurney I watched the paramedics load? It wasn’t empty. It is just that the person under the sheet was too small to notice from that distance. This family had always ordered every week, nice couple, only one kid. I never delivered to them after that.”


4. This delivery story is a win-win for everyone.

“I was delivering a pizza once to a part of the city I wasn’t familiar with, and this was before smartphones and GPS were a thing. So I used a big paper map posted on the booze storage door to figure out where I was going. For this delivery, I didn’t know that the map was out of date and the route was no longer connected. The street was split into two for whatever reason. So I got quite lost, and I was driving around trying to find someone to ask for directions. A group of guys in their 40’s were hanging out on their back porch and asked me how much it was for the pizza when I inquired about my delivery,” said here_for_news1.

“They paid, gave me a decent tip, and I headed back to the restaurant. But then my boss informed me that the people who ordered the pizza called asking where the heck their order was. It turns out these guys just happened to stumble upon a delivery guy with a pizza to deliver and felt they shouldn’t pass up on serendipity. Amazingly the original house still paid for their pizza after we remade it. However, the restaurant never adjusted for the first pizza, so I got the full price of a large pie + two tips from that one order. It wasn’t the most amazing thing to happen, but it’s always stuck with me.”


3. Getting the door slammed in your face over and over again is never fun for delivery drivers.

“First one: This was some bull crap. So I deliver a pizza to this regular old house. This girl around my age comes to the door. The total was something like $19.43. So I tell her what she owes me, and she hands me a 20 and 5. I am very pleased with this $5.57 tip, but out of habit, I ask, “do you need any change?” Expecting her to say no, or at least ask for 1 or 2 dollars back (which still would’ve been reasonable). She says she’s fine, and I turn around to leave, but she stops me and says, “wait, I gave you 25?” I simply nod. I’ll never forget this. She looks me dead in the eye with a blank expression, reaches out, snatches the five back from me, and shuts the door without another word.”

Another story by PeterGayrino, goes on to say, “Second one: I’m delivering to some house, and I knock on the door. A man I’d say is in his 50’s comes to the door. He opens it halfway but then proceeds to violently slam the door and scream, “WHO ARE YOU!” I’m now unable to move because of how freaked out I am, so it timidly says, “I’m just delivering food.” He slowly opens the door and takes the food. He rather aggressively asks, “what? No drink?” To which I look at the receipt and say, “Ummm, did you order one?”


2. This guy thought he could do a better job then the professional cake delivery person. He was wrong.

“I used to work for a bakery and delivered custom cakes. On New Year’s Eve, I had one last delivery. It was a 3-tier cake for a small wedding held on the third floor of a walk-up. The cake is pretty heavy, maybe 70lbs, and the height did not help. I had a cart to take it from the truck to the lobby of the building. But it was gonna have to be carried up. I met the customer in the lobby, and after he approved the cake, I get ready to take it up,” says Tearjerker139.

“He starts insisting that I shouldn’t do that and that he can handle it; he was the first customer ever to say that. I explained that the cake is heavy and that I have done this a dozen times, which wouldn’t be a problem at all. He gets upset and requests that I leave it there for him. I didn’t want to argue and just wanted to go home. So I have him sign the order sheet, and now I have nothing to do with the cake. I leave, and as I start to push the door, I hear the loudest’ F*$#’ ever, walk back around the corner, and can see that the guy only got up about five steps before he fell face-first into the cake!


1. She got a huge tip.

“A few years ago, I delivered a large order with a few pizzas and several 2-liter cokes. It was the day after the Superbowl. The guy who answered the door must have partied too hard the day before because he’s standing there behind the glass door with a throw blanket wrapped around his waist, holding it closed with one hand. In the living room, there were a couple of other guys sprawled out, and it was obvious that they all were suffering from hangovers. He’s a young guy who isn’t hard on the eyes, and I’m a red-blooded gal through and through, so I was able to appreciate the view. This guy opens the door, I tell him his total, which was $109, he hands me some money and then and a big beautiful fluffy cat goes streaking out to freedom.”

BeautifulPainz continues, “This guy freaks out screaming, “OMG, my girlfriend will KILL me if I lose her cat!” He drops the blanket and runs out after the cat, and proceeds to chase the cat all across the lawn butt-naked. I’m just standing there with pizzas on one arm watching the show. And it was a show for sure as he was swinging free for all to see. He finally captures the cat, and we make eye contact. Obviously embarrassed, he holds the screeching cat in front of his genitals and walks quickly back to the door. As he’s going in, he says, “Just leave the pizzas on the porch table. I’ll get them in a minute. You can keep the change.” Then he disappears inside. I put his food where he asked, then went back to my car where I realized that he’d handed me two $100 bills, leaving me with a $90 tip! LOL Poor guy.”