14. There Are Certain Things You Should Never Joke About
In the context of this article, it seems like this woman was possibly joking. However, no one should ever joke about sexual assault, especially when we are in the era of #MeToo. And yet that’s exactly what this creepy woman did to a user called Saskei. “A female coworker had a crush on me, and ‘accidentally’ ran into me (literally) at the public mall when I was in the middle of a conversation with a friend.
“She then proceeded to ask me if I was going to rape her. Specifically she said ‘So are you going to rape me now?’ No context, or even sexual talk having ever occurred between us that might justify it, or make it potentially a (unfunny) joke, or anything. It was just out of nowhere.”
“I met a girl on a bus in Manchester, UK. She approached me and asked if she could have a Jaffa Cake (she saw the box protruding from my grocery bag). So I said sure. As I leaned down to get the box and open it she proceeded to tell me she wrote erotic fiction, as I offered her the Jaffa Cake she handed me a notebook filled with filth. I quickly made my excuses and got off at the wrong stop just to get out of the situation.”
That story was from a user called mundaneclipclop. As a new writer, maybe this girl was eager to share her stories with someone she thought would be interested. Clearly, he wasn’t. Maybe it’s better for her to join a writing group. However, I think the older ladies might have a heart attack when they read that fan fiction.
“My ex says she saw dead people. At a party she said there was a dead man in the house wanting us to get out. She sat on the bathroom floor for 20 minutes staring into nothing. Then she let out a big breath, lowered her head and started crying… Then we left. She was a really nice girl but that particular side of her was creepy.”
That story was from a Reddit user called festt. This really depends on what you believe. Some people will look at famous mediums like Kim Russo and believe whole-heartedly that they can see ghosts. However, science would say that this poor girl had some kind of mental illness that was torturing her with hallucinations of ghosts.
“Well I was at a party when this girl that I went to university with (and I only treated as a classmate). She tried to choke me into telling her the name of the girl that I was seeing so that she could in her words ‘help’ me. Only, she let go when she threw up on herself. That was pretty traumatic and creepy, 0/10 would not do it again.”
That story was from a Reddit user called takenwithapotato. It’s absolutely creepy, and scary to imagine what could have happened if it had gone on much longer. This girl clearly had problems, but it’s probably good that she vomited. It gave the man an opportunity to get free of her chokehold and run in the opposite direction.
“I was 11 and at a friend’s place when his mother came from the tanning bed, opened up her robe and asked if we boys thought her tan was nice. She was nude beneath the robe. Really creepy.”
That story came from a user called Anders_A. It’s problematic on so many levels. Not only were the boys 11, but she was showing herself off to both her son and her friend. We can only guess how much therapy the son needs to get now that he’s an adult.
“Not exactly romantic, but the first night I was hooking up with this beautiful girl, she wanted to prove how dirty she could be. I had told her that I liked to try interesting things in bed, and she said ‘Yeah well, I’m up for anything. See this scar?’ (Points to her left clavicle.) ‘That’s where I cut myself so my last boyfriend could drink my blood.’ But…she was still super hot so I pretended that was totally normal.”
That was from a user called aclockworkporridge. It’s more than likely that this girl was a fan of the Twilight series, and got a little too excited by the idea of it. Some guys would run in that situation. But it seems like this guy continued to hook up with her for as long as possible before it got too creepy to handle.
“One time at work I was outside pushing carts when this middle aged woman in her car with a glass of wine in hand said ‘Are you wearing underwear?’ I replied, ‘Umm yea.’ Then she said, ‘Huh doesn’t look like it,’ and drove off.”
That one came from a user called GOOMH. There’s a lot to unpack, here. Clearly the woman was drunk driving. The glass of wine made it blatantly obvious. Second, her creepy comment had almost no point to it. Reminds me of cat calling by construction workers.
7. The Tragic Story of Jen, a Major Stalker (Part 1)
This story from a Redditor called gaqua is so long, we had to split it up into three parts.
“When I was 19 I got an apartment below a couple in their early 20s who fought and screamed all the time. One day, the boyfriend gets violent and the cops take him away. Girl (Jen) comes down, ‘Can I have your number in case he comes back?’ So I gave it to her. I should mention that I had a girlfriend (Sue) at this time. Jen calls me one night right before midnight. ‘Are you okay?’ I ask. ‘Yeah. What are you doing?’ She asks. ‘Wanna come f*ck me?’ She says. Very direct. ‘Uh, I’ve got a girlfriend, Jen.’ Two hours later, she calls and wakes me up. She’s crying. ‘Why don’t you think I’m attractive?’ Finally I ended up just hanging up.”
“Thirty seconds later she’s banging on my door. She starts yelling. It’s almost two AM. I called the police. One hour later, she was still banging on the door screaming and crying. They take her back to her apartment and calm her down. An officer takes a statement. He keeps asking ‘Was she ever in this apartment?’ She told the cops a very different story – that we’d been intimate, that I’d kicked her out in the middle of sex without her keys or her wallet. I told the cop he was free to search. He looked around for about 10 minutes, seemed satisfied, and then thanked me and left. At 4:30 AM, she calls me and wakes me up. She’s apologizing, crying, so sorry she got like that. I tell her I think it’s a bad idea that we talk anymore.”
6. The Tragic Story of Jen, a Major Stalker (Part 2)
I go to work after getting maybe 2 hours of sleep in total. I’m a zombie all day. I get home at 4:30, ready to crash. Sue, my girlfriend, was going to bring dinner after she got off work at eight. My apartment is completely spotless. There are freshly made cookies on the table. I walk to the bedroom. There, of course, is Jen. Naked except for thigh high stockings and a hair tie. She’s lying on her back, and as I come in she pulls her knees back to her shoulders, and smiles at me. I just turned around and ran out of my own apartment. Scared like a little boy. In the lobby I called the police again, they came and arrested her. Charged her with some minor things like trespassing and she spent a couple nights in jail.
“Behavior like this happens for weeks. She’s constantly knocking on the door and arguing with the people staying at my place. She offers to ‘Share me’ with Sue. A week or two later she is being evicted and as some form of weird protest, she paints her upper torso and face bright pink and wears a green bikini top as they drag her kicking and screaming out of the place. Police end up arresting her again. My six months lease is up, so I move. I get an unlisted number/address. I am about 10 miles from the old place. A couple months after I moved in, there’s a knock at the door. It’s Jen. She followed me from work, then waited until Sue left. She says she’s medicated, she wants to apologize. I tell her I hope she’s better, but I can’t let her in.
5. The Tragic Story of Jen, a Major Stalker (Part 3)
“Predictably, Jen goes nuts. Another call to the cops and arrest. I moved three states away, broke up with Sue and was single. It’s been about three to four years, and suddenly I got a MySpace friend request from her in 2002. I ignore it. Then I get a tirade of emails. Long winded, lacking punctuation. Clearly mentally ill. I just ignore them, what else can I do? 2006, Sue messages me out of the blue. Haven’t talked to her in like eight years. She says Jen came into her work and wanted info on me, where I was, what I was doing. She was dragged out by security. 2008, Jen finds my little brother’s Facebook. Makes a road trip across three states. Finds his dorm and goes to talk to him. He has no idea who she is.
“Six months later she accosts him at his work and Jen is placed in a facility. 2012 – Jen is out of the mental illness facility and heavily medicated. Her ‘counselor’ contacts me on Facebook. ‘Would I like to help her put her past behind her?’ she asks. She wants to set up a face-to-face meeting. I have a wife and a kid. I say no thank you. ‘Counselor’ gets very frustrated and tells me I’m a terrible person. 2013 – Jen commits suicide by jumping off a cliff somewhere in Arizona. Her body is found months after the fact and identified by wallet. Part of me wonders what I did to cause this? I literally never did anything out of the ordinary. I was her downstairs neighbor for a couple of months and it caused over a decade of fixation. Mental illness is a hell of a thing.”
This creepy story came from a Redditor called Ineffablepwnage. “I worked at a movie theater in high school and college. My creepiest stalker found me there. I go out one night after closing at 1 am, and find a giant piece of cardboard covering my windshield. Written on it is ‘Hi I think you’re cute, call me xxx-xxxx’ Thinking one of my coworkers is messing with me, I go back in and ask who did it, and am greeted by blank faces, promptly followed by waves of laughter. So my friend calls the number, chick answers the phone, and they start talking.
‘We’ve got lots of questions. Do you know whose car you put the cardboard on?’
‘Wait, how did you know his name?’
‘Well, the next day I asked all the other employees who he was until someone told me.’
‘How did you know it was his car?’
‘Well, I saw him leaving the theater a week ago, and thought he was cute so I followed him out. I got a little lost trying to find my way back to town. Well, I kinda followed him a little further than just the parking lot.’
‘Define a ‘little further’.’
‘Maybe out to his house. It’s really nice! But it’s kind of out in the middle of nowhere.’
At this point, I chime in and tell my friend, ‘I don’t remember anyone following me, and I always watch for other cars.’ So my friend asks her, ‘How did he not notice you following him?’
‘Teehee, maybe he just doesn’t pay enough attention.
Oh, I maaaayyyyy have turned off my lights so he didn’t know I was following him.’
A Reddit user called Gerbadagin tells a horrifying story of how his ex-wife was trying to kill him by altering his medication. “My ex wife, who was a registered nurse, manipulated my prescriptions. She changed the dosage, and called the prescription to Walgreens as though she were my physician.
“The DEA investigated, and all they could find out was that it was a woman’s voice who called in the prescription. I got very sick from it, and when I realized what was happening I left, and asked for a divorce. Her attorney placed a restraining order on the $250,000 life insurance policy I had with her as beneficiary. And I was forced to pay the premiums until the divorce was final. That was 10 years ago. I will never remarry, or even be in a relationship.”
“At the end of High School we had senior night at Disneyland. It’s kind of like one last huge party in which various local graduating senior classes rent out the park. Anyway, me and my buddies are walking around having a pretty great time and decide to get on some rides. I’m in line for Pirates of the Caribbean when I feel someone’s hand slide into my back pocket and cup my ass while another hand grabs my crotch.”
“I was pretty ‘WTF’ when i turned and saw this girl in line by herself, butch haircut, breath smelling like some kind of medicine or something, probably just dropped. She looks me dead in the eye and says, ’I’m so horny right now, do you want me to suck you off on the ride?’, revealing a grotesque smile. I look at her, my friends, back at her. We get on the ride. Now I get a boner whenever I ride Pirates of the Caribbean.” Story by UndergroundElectric
This next story comes from a user called Deijavu. “Two summers ago, I was traveling through California and stopped in Huntington Beach for drinks with friends. We walked into this bar, and were moving towards the back tables, when I nearly ran head-on into this older lady, 50+, who gave me the I’m checking you out right now and I want you to know it look up and down my body… And then grabbed my biceps, squeezed a couple of times and walked away before I could even respond or react.
“A couple hours later, my friends and I were leaving our table to go outside and catch a cab, when I ran into this lady again. She’d clearly been drinking and decided to go for the gusto, this time with a full on crotch-grab while she whispered ‘I’ve always liked chocolate’ (I’m black) into my ear. I just stood there like a deer in headlights. I’d never encountered anything like that before and didn’t have any programming to process it so I defaulted to stunned silence.”