1. The Attempted Escape (Part 2)
“Eventually I started going to counseling behind her back. I got my act together and started moving my money into my own account that she didn’t know about. She kept cheating, I kept up counseling and moving my assets and then just up and disappeared on her. And finally the finale… 4 years later, I had a new girl, I was getting ready to propose. I had the ring and got an email from the ex. She told me we were actually married and she wanted a divorce because she met a new guy and wanted to get married. What. The. Fu**. What had happened, I found out, was that she took my wallet, got her buddy who looked a lot like me, and took him down to the courthouse to file the certificate a week after I said no.
“So, legally we were married and I had no idea. I was enraged, but at the same time glad she had the timing to tell me before I tried to marry my girlfriend. My girlfriend was a saint, was understanding, and stayed with me while I got the last of my ex squared away. I spoke with a couple lawyers about what I could do and they said there was no proof. The good news is that she just wanted the divorce and nothing else. Luckily it was all taken care of. She randomly still tries to contact me but I just ignore her. These days I am still married to the same woman who stayed with me. We are super happy together, and have two kids.”